news

most of today’s parents talk about games in a negative light.

for a while, there was an advertisement for a certain game on the elevator in my community. parents complained fiercely to the property owners among the property owners: "you are poisoning your children, won't your conscience hurt if you make this money?" mothers in particular were even more angry.

many mothers have never played games. they just think that this thing takes time and money, and they don’t learn to play and kill. they forget everything else when they play. it’s like taking drugs. it’s totally useless! i’ve seen parenting gurus lamenting about their helplessness when their sons are addicted to games, and i’ve also seen high-achieving mothers share how they “reasoned” to make their children promise not to touch ipads, and i’ve also complained that my husband only plays games when raising his kids...

as a mother, i understand parents' concerns.but as a veteran gamer, i understand children better because i was once a little girl who loved playing games.

i want to say: games are not drugs. like movies, novels and other entertainment activities, they can be beneficial as long as they are not excessive.

for example, shooting games (eating chicken) can train concentration and improve reaction ability;

battle games (honor of kings) help cultivate a sense of teamwork;

sandbox games (minecraft) and business simulation games (animal crossing) allow children to use their creativity and imagination, and more.

playing games does not necessarily lead to addiction and delay learning. looking back on my own growth path and my experience playing games with my children,i believe that as long as parents put aside their prejudices and are willing to understand and accompany their children from their perspective, children can learn to balance the relationship between learning and play.

before i went to school, i followed my cousin to the game arcade to play arcade games; in elementary school, i played "baby" until late at night every weekend; in middle school, i had computers, so i spent my time playing games during the winter and summer vacations; in college, i played online games and stayed up all night in internet cafes; after graduation, i used my first salary to reward myself with a handheld game console...

it can be said that games have accompanied me throughout my school days. as an i person, half of my friends have become friends through games. while others fall in love, eat, watch movies, and i play games online with my child’s father. and academically, i almost had the green light all the way, and successfully passed key middle schools and 211.

my experience is by no means an isolated case. i know many top academics in the gaming circle, especially those majoring in science and engineering. they are all masters who can play and learn.

i also have a family environment that is relatively relaxed about gaming. my mother also likes to play games and often competes with me to play. this was not common 30 years ago. precisely because of this, she does not think that playing games is "playing with things to lose one's spirit", but only treats it as an entertainment activity. as long as i can arrange my time reasonably, my game time is usually free. with the understanding and trust of my parents, i can gradually learn to deal with the relationship with games.

now i am also a mother with a son who loves to play games. i often think of the days when i played games with my mother when i was a child. it was a kind of parent-child time that no one else has ever experienced, with a warm and beautiful background. when my children were young, i used to be very strict about screen time management. firstly, i was considering my eyesight, and secondly, i didn’t want to receive multimedia stimulation too early. but he had an operation when he was 4 years old. in order to relieve the pain after the operation, i took him to play "plants vs. zombies".

once this door is opened, it cannot be closed, and i have to carry out "anti-addiction" intervention for him. i think it is almost impossible for today's children not to be exposed to games. although 4 years old is a bit earlier than i expected, but instead of retreating into a shell, it is better to explore with the children and find solutions to problems together.

so how can you play games reasonably without getting addicted? for parents who don’t play games,the first step is to understand "what is so fun about the game?" we need to figure this out first before we can talk about how to do it.

there is a question on zhihu: "assuming that all games are turned off, will children go to study?" gao zan's answer is: in the era without games, there were tv, comics, and novels; further back, in ancient times, these did not exist , the nobles had theaters, cricket fights, cockfights, dice throwing...

for children who don't want to study, sitting in a daze and playing with their fingers are more interesting than reading. people's pursuit of fun is engraved in their bones. video games, like any other game entertainment, must first be "interesting", but it is more than that.

shigeru miyamoto, the founder of nintendo, believes that video games are an "active medium." compared with movies, tv series, and novels, the biggest feature of video games is thatinteractivity. it allows players to approach a problem, conceive of a solution, try that solution, and experience the results.

more importantly, these processes and results can be repeated even if they fail. it can also be said,the most valuable experience that games provide children is "failure."research on game psychology tells us that in modern life, people need a gamified mentality, which can change our response to stress, challenge and pain, and cultivate resilience in daily life. this is why children display powerful psychological strengths such as optimism, creativity, courage and determination when they play games.

parents often say that the real world is very cruel. if you don't study well and don't go to college, you will have no food in the future. what's wrong with adapting to competition from an early age? but the truth is, our children are becoming more afraid of failure.

a person's perseverance and self-confidence are not acquired by participating in competition, but by constantly experiencing the process of "from failure to success".how to accept failure and learn to face failure is the first step, and it is also an important function of various human game activities. however, more and more traditional games are losing this trial and error function.

children also become intolerant of failure in many activities that are supposed to be games. for example, sports, art, music and drama, even model airplanes and lego, all require training, competitions and examinations. if you do not do well, you will be evaluated by the teacher, if you do not do well, you will be scolded by your parents, and comparisons between peers will also be magnified... if you put too much emphasis on the results of competition, it will naturally be difficult to accept failure.

the greater the pressure in the real world, the greater the charm of the game world. such a choice is not so much about escaping from difficulties, but rather about seeking an environment that is more tolerant of failure.in games, you won’t be scolded for making mistakes, you can start over if you die, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t have an adult to teach you. children will sum up their experiences and explore and move forward, so failure is no longer scary.

if you observe a child playing games, you will find that he or she behaves differently than in life. they will demonstrate strong psychological strengths, such as optimism, creativity, courage, and determination. this is exactly what more and more children lack in reality.

now that we understand the charm and advantages of games, what exactly should parents do?

despite years of experience in "peacefully coexisting" with games, the situation is much more complicated now than it was 30 years ago. children are exposed to electronic games at a younger age because mobile devices such as mobile phones are popular and the conditions for playing games have become easier. more importantly, today’s games are also very different, especially mobile games, which have many inductive links based on human characteristics, such as check-in and recharge.

however, there are small advantages to having children when they are young, that is, it is easier for parents to manage them and develop good habits. on the contrary, they are suppressed and not allowed to play when they are young. when they grow up, they play games with a vengeance and become addicted.

summarizing the experiences of myself, my gamer friends, and my children, i have the following experiences:

it is common practice for parents to set a time limit for playing games. for example, after finishing homework, it should not exceed 1 hour at a time. but sometimes it is difficult to implement. children often agree well, but they want to play as soon as school is over, or they don’t want to stop playing until the time is up.

in fact, there are two points that need to be made clear to children when stipulating play time.the first is to let the children know when they can play next time. if they stick to the time, they can play every day/week. another point is that when the time is up, children should be allowed to exit after completing a game (or the progress can be saved). parents should not stare at their children and shut down immediately.anyone who plays the game will go crazy if someone cuts him off at a critical moment.

in addition, the cultivation of self-control is a long-term issue, and parents must be patient and help their children gradually establish a sense of rules for game time. it is recommended that parents discuss this with their children, because different types of games take different times. for example, stand-alone games with plots take a long time to complete a chapter, but they can be played once a week, while mobile games generally require logging in every day. check in, but play for a shorter time each time.

i would recommend excellent classic games to my children, such as the mario series, and try to let him play console games (using a game console or computer). the development time of these games is longer, a lot of human and financial resources are invested, and the production is guaranteed. some plots are as good as those in film and television dramas, and some have flexible and puzzle-like gameplay.

in comparison, mobile games (that is, those downloaded from the app store) are of mixed quality. some low-cost and low-quality games have low playability and rough graphics. they only rely on rewards and visual effects to stimulate the brain to produce dopamine, making you excited when playing. it can feel empty and meaningless afterwards. here is a tip for identification:it is not recommended for children to play any game that automatically pops up advertisements.games that require advertisements are not well-made, and it is easy for children to download more similar games through advertisements.

if parents have time, the most recommended method is to play games with their children in person. let playing games become a kind of companionship, and turn the time your children spend playing games into parent-child interaction, which will give playing games a more important meaning. if you don’t know how, it doesn’t matter, let your children teach you, they will be happy to do so. next time mothers see their fathers playing games with their children, they might as well try to join in, or at least watch them play, and don't let yourself become an outsider.

you can find a game that is suitable for both multiplayer play and yourself. this is why i recommend console games the most. for example, games on the switch are very suitable for the whole family to play together, work out together, or drive a racing car. on ipads and mobile phones, you can also choose highly interactive games. for example, i directly opened two accounts and added friends to play together.

if you can find fun in it and enjoy the process of playing games with your children, it is absolutely wonderful. not only can you collaborate with your children in games, but your children will also be happy to chat with you when you are not playing. in one sentence:parents who can play with their children will definitely have a good parent-child relationship.

for younger children, these activities require parents to set an example and take their children outdoors, or play table games and toys. older children are encouraged to play freely with their peers. in my family, if the children bring their classmates to play at home, they can increase the game time, but it is limited to games that can be played by multiple people on the switch. in other words, as long as they can play with everyone, they can play as they like.even with video games, children still prefer to play with a partner.

to protect eyesight, try to give your children the largest screen possible to play games on, and keep the room brightly lit. from this perspective, console games (television screen projection) are also the best, followed by computers and ipads. it is best not to let children play games with mobile phones or electronic watches.

today in the internet era, games are no longer distinct from work and life, but have fully penetrated into every aspect of life, work, and study. even schools and subject education are developing towards gamification. schools will give students points and redeem rewards, and teachers will use more multimedia courseware. these all suggest that learning and living like games is the future trend and the future of work. and professions may need to be reshaped according to the characteristics of gamification.

as parents, we also need to keep up with the times and respond to changes. what family education can learn from games include:

1. let children participate autonomously and freely

whether in study or life, children often respond to the requests of parents and teachers, or are forced to complete tasks under pressure. the most important feature of gamification isgive children the autonomy to study and live, parents should appropriately delegate power in details, such as letting their children decide when to eat first or do homework first after school today? or should i play with it for a while and then write? how to arrange weekends? don’t be packed with various classes, but allow children to freely allocate time, etc.

2. clear rules

in gamethe rules must be simple, clear, and everyone must abide by them. players can only adapt to the rules, but this does not cause trouble, and children quickly learn to move freely under clear rules.

in life, some things are determined by the mood of the parents. for example, if the parents say that they can play after completing their homework, the parents will write a paper as a penalty for "too many mistakes", and the play time will be cancelled. if such things are discovered frequently, it will make children feel distrustful. parents can ask their children to correct their mistakes, but after correcting, they must also fulfill their promises to their children.

another rule of the game is,gradual upgrade standards. if players want to become stronger in the game, they must divide it into many steps. each level is a small goal. these small goals have clear standards and ensure that players can achieve them through hard work. this is also the concept of the "zone of proximal development" in education. each goal in learning should not be too high. goals that can be achieved with a little effort can best motivate children.

3. timely positive feedback

many schools and tutoring institutions now use timely feedback to reward children, so as parents, we candiversify this positive feedback. positive feedback does not have to be a small sticker or red flower, nor does it have to be "i will buy you xxx if you do well in the exam." it is a sincere compliment from parents and a compliment in front of others, which makes children feel that their efforts are recognized, sometimes more than the school. the little red flowers are more heart-warming.

4. a more tolerant space for trial and error

one of the criteria for judging game addiction is "playing games to reduce pain." that is to say, if a child plays games to escape unsatisfactory reality, it is easier to develop addiction. we often think that children become addicted to games because their parents neglect to discipline them. in fact, many children escape into games because their parents discipline them too harshly. so parentsyou might as well relax a little, allow your children to make mistakes, accept failure in exams, be more patient with growth, and give your children more opportunities to try and make mistakes.

now, three years after my child first encountered the game, he is already a second grader. he has three hours of game time every weekend, and he can also play for a while on weekdays if he finishes his homework early.

he would talk about games with his classmates and invite friends to play, but this was not his only entertainment activity. when his friends ask him to play football, he will immediately put down the game controller; when he plays mahjong with his grandma and grandpa, or plays a newly bought board game, he often forgets that today’s game has not been played yet; he gradually does not need my reminder. i will arrange homework, and if it is small, just finish it before playing, and if it is big, plan it out, and use the game as an intermission.

although play timeout and other situations may occur, it does not matter. the days of playing games with children will still be long, and children will need more time to learn balance, but i believe that this can be done.

electronic products such as games are not a scourge and do not require parents to strictly prohibit them.

it is reasonable to exist, and parents’ excessive worries may make their children “antagonize” themselves. but in fact, it is also important for parents to change their thinking and let their children release their love!

and the game is actually not simple!

the key point still lies in how parents set rules, how to make children understand and abide by them, and how children feel the core motivation for learning & life!