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editor: chen tianmu

in the new semester, campus safety and adolescent mental health have become the focus of attention for parents, educators and society. from the challenges of first-year students adapting to a new environment to the psychological pressure and temptation to engage in bad behavior faced by adolescent students, many questions need to be answered.

special invitation for this issuewang dawei, vice president of the china youth delinquency prevention research association, doctor of education and crime prevention expert; su dechao, a professor at the school of philosophy of wuhan university; fang ling, a popular science lecturer at the chinese psychological association, deeply explores the many factors that affect campus safety, including campus bullying, internet addiction, adolescent bad behaviors, etc., and provides prevention strategies and solutions.

fang ling: it is said that adolescent children are more impulsive. are adolescents more likely to have some bad behaviors?

wang dawei: for example, when a boy in middle school has an adam's apple, a mustache, and a sudden growth, you may see him as a grown man, but in fact he is still a child. a child in this state feels that he is very powerful, and wants a stage where he can display his power. when i was a teenager, we lived on a fifth floor, which was already very high. there was a ten-centimeter edge on the top of the building. then a group of us adolescent kids said, who dares to walk over this edge? at that time, no one was afraid, and they all walked through it. in fact, as long as one step was missed at that time, you would be finished. adolescent children are prone to deviant and outrageous behaviors, but they are not crimes. at this time, it would be good for him to vent his excess energy within a positive energy range, such as exercising.

it does not mean that children with bad behavior will embark on a criminal path in the future. traditional criminology mainly studies the theory of the causes of crime. it is believed that the person who commits the crime has defects, physical defects or psychological defects. but now there is also a theory that says,in fact, when he was young, he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know the solution to the problem, and took the wrong behavior. so if we teach him this method, we can avoid some regrets. we need to give him more the children talked about what to do about this matter and how to solve it.

fang ling: what other psychological problems do adolescent children have?

su dechao: although tragedies caused by "high energy" make people feel particularly distressed, the more widespread pain is actually low energy, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. many adolescent children have these psychological problems related to academic pressure. to cross the single-plank bridge, you must go to college, and you must go to a good university. if you go to a good university, you must also go to graduate school.

a qualified parent must pay attention to the abnormality of the child, such as listlessness, boredom, insomnia, neurasthenia, etc. if he discovers this abnormality, he must understand the abnormality and make friends with the child.sometimes it may be difficult for us parents to win the trust of adolescent children. if he is depressed or anxious, he will not tell you, he does not believe that you can solve his problem, or he feels that you will scold him after telling you. pay attention to the way you communicate during this process.

wang dawei: anxiety and depression are not necessarily diseases, they may just be tendencies. people are generally anxious nowadays, and the so-called anxiety is anxiety about the future. when i was young, i wanted to be a soldier, but i had congenital heart disease and could not be a soldier. i remember it was a rainy day and my face was covered with tears and rain. but the college entrance examination resumed the next year, so i took the college entrance examination.for many young people, today's anxiety is actually caused by insufficient social experience. don't be too anxious about things you can't do.

fang ling: faced with this series of psychological problems that children may have, what can we as parents do?

su dechao：when a child has negative emotions, don't rush to stop him. if a child really wants to vent or cry, let him cry, and his emotions must always go smoothly.second, from a philosophical point of view, there must be an interruption. if you suddenly have a strong emotion, stop first and think twice before you act. if the child is older and reaches junior high school and high school, he can do it. of. the third one is to teach practical skills. you can play the role of his classmate or teacher. he can speak out what he wants and find a solution in the process of expression.

parents should let their children understand that we do not live in this world to defeat others. some people are better than me. in this way, a lot of academic pressure on children will be reduced a lot.it doesn't matter even if you fail. this society needs different people. it's good if you can go to "985", but if you can't go to "985" or "211", even if you don't go to college, it's still good that i live by my own hands. in this way, the children's depression and anxiety will be much less. , as the child gets older, his heart will become stronger.

our education, the various trainings we give our children, and the training we give them only allow children to become themselves, not what we want them to be. education itself is like farming. children are seeds, not parents’ canvas. parents should not express themselves on their children. both parents and teachers should believe in the power of seeds.

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