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original author: takahashi toshiharu

translator: vader

illustration: the führer’s guard

purulence

i lived a leisurely life every day, but the wound began to fester and i couldn't eat. after i talked to the person in charge, he asked me to go to the military doctor. after receiving the diagnosis, i asked the military doctor to cut open my wound for treatment. he nodded and agreed to cut open my wound to let the pus flow out.

the military doctor also put his fingers into the incision and dug out a lot of bone fragments. he said that the wound went all the way through the shoulder and it might be impossible to get all the bone fragments out.

pus was flowing out of the gunshot wound. the military doctor stuffed gauze into the wound. the pain was so severe that i wanted to die. i screamed. no matter how much i cried and wailed, this was a foreign country and no one cared. this was war. i was sent to the ward.

admission

i met many japanese patients in the hospital. i could walk on my own, so i was happy. there was a roll call in the hospital. if you were late, the american soldiers would urge you to "hey! come on!" then you would be locked up in a small dark room, where you could only live on bread and water for three days. this was the punishment for being late for roll call. there was no change in the united states.

death

while i was in the hospital, a prisoner died in the u.s. we all gathered in a car and went to the cemetery to bid farewell.

i wonder if i will die here one day? or when i can return to japan, or if i can't return to japan at all. i don't know. i am very scared when i think that i might be shot in the united states.

the situation here

this place is close to the mexican border, so it's not too cold even in winter. it's close to the atlantic ocean. there are abundant underground resources. we use iron pumps to extract natural gas from underground and use it for cooking and making fire. that's all we need for fuel.

i came here in july and it's already december and it hasn't rained at all. it's really a magical country. if the sunshine was so long in mainland japan, the grass and trees would have withered long ago, but here it is lush and green.

black sorghum

the residents here are all black, and the women have very short hair, which is very similar to the hairstyle of buddha statues in mainland japan. the black uncles here are really black, as black as the bottom of a pot. it was originally the residence of local black slaves.

the local living environment can be seen through the gaps in the wire mesh. there is lush green grass growing around our hut, which looks a bit like a tree. i don't know if it is grass or a tree. there are also castor trees here, which are big trees that you need a ladder to climb up to pick the fruits. they are not grass but big trees.

there were a lot of scorpions inside and outside the house. although they didn't sting people, i would kill them if i saw them. i heard from americans that these were not poisonous scorpions from the south. so we just spent our days there.

on the train again

december 8, 1949. it was on this day that our navy attacked pearl harbor. it was an unforgettable day for the united states. on this day, all of us prisoners were put on the train. it was over. we were going to be put on the train and then all shot up. but there was no other way but to get on the train.

some said we were going to be sent back to china, others said we were going to be taken to a canoe. there were many different opinions along the way. i thought we would be pulled onto a boat and sunk as a target for live ammunition training. i was thinking about this all the way. the train took us across the wilderness and mountains, and then across the continent to seattle. at this time, the streets were covered with snow. on december 13, 1949, we arrived in seattle again.

translator's note: this devil was kindly taken care of, treated and housed by the us military, but he is still worried about being killed. this shows how serious the brainwashing of militarism was back then.

by boat

we had no idea whether the hundreds of japanese prisoners on board a large ship were going to sink the ship in the middle of the pacific ocean or send us back to japan. we had no idea.

after sailing for about a week, we encountered a storm. every time the boat passed through the huge waves, it made a huge bang sound and the whole boat creaked. i was always worried that it would break apart and sink.

i couldn't eat, but the americans provided me with plenty of food and took care of my wounds every day. i thought if they wanted to shoot me, they probably wouldn't help me take care of my wounds, so maybe i could return to japan alive.

see japan

after about 21 days of sailing, i finally saw the japanese islands. ah, it was japan. it was the oshima island of izu. i could already see it. this was the island i saw when i joined the war, and i didn’t see it again until today, two years later. how lucky i was.

translator's note: this is no longer just ordinary luck, it is the blessing of the goddess of fate and the immortality of blood.

the ship entered tokyo bay, and the us military ships were densely packed. it was like a dream come true in japan. my motherland, japan, i am back.

i promised my wife and children that i would come back alive, and now my promise has been fulfilled. i shouted in my heart that my father is back. i arrived in uraga on january 4, 1949.

it has been two years since i left tokyo bay on february 27, 1949. i still remember how i felt at that time. i thought i would definitely die, but now i am back in tokyo bay. i am back on an american ship wearing american clothes. i am back with injuries.

i had already had several realizations of my mortality while on iwo jima, and tears welled up in my eyes when i thought of the war that was already over.

japan has been burned into a wasteland, and tokyo bay is full of american warships. japan has lost. i want to set foot on japanese soil as soon as possible, i want to get on land.

going ashore

the ship arrived at uraga port, and we, the sick and wounded, went ashore by car, and the healthy ones walked ashore. i entered the former japanese naval hospital, which is a national hospital, and military doctors and nurses were there.

there is a saying in the battlefield: don't be captured alive and endure the humiliation, but sacrifice yourself heroically like scattering flowers. we didn't sacrifice ourselves heroically but lived as captives. although we should be exiled or sentenced to death, we don't have to worry about it.

our army no longer existed, and there was no military court. we were all treated as demobilized soldiers, thank god. i was taken care of by a nurse in the hospital on january 4, 1939.

the wound on my back was still oozing pus and needed to be treated on the ship. now i am in a japanese hospital and need to continue treatment. i vowed to return home alive. after two years of sailing from tokyo bay, i finally returned. from now on, i can live with my wife and children. the war is finally over.

my mother, wife, and brothers probably didn't know i was back alive, and there was no way to contact them. during this period, the wound continued to fester, and i asked the military doctor to perform surgery on me, but he said that it couldn't be done without anesthesia. i asked him to open the pus without anesthesia.

so the military doctor just cut me open. i was sitting there with my upper body naked as the military doctor used a scalpel to cut open the wound. blood spurted out all at once and the nurse turned her head away, unable to bear to watch.

the military doctor opened the wound and i could only scream in pain. i had no choice but to ask him to do so. there was nothing i could do except endure it.

after a long time, the military doctor said it was done. the military doctor was surprised and said that it was amazing that you could endure it so long without even crying out in pain.

my armpits were actually soaked with sweat. it was painful, but it was better than dying like this, so i decided to cut it open. crying and shouting were useless. i had a fever after the operation that night, and i gradually lost consciousness.

dream wife

after falling asleep with a high fever, i dreamed of an incredible scene. my wife was standing in the muddy river with her hair disheveled and her upper body naked, her left leg limping. she was standing in the middle of the river, about 100 meters wide, waving at me.

even though this was my wife whom i had not forgotten for two years, i could not get past the muddy water. i still walked into the river and approached it, but it was too deep and i could not get through it. i could not swim. i turned around and returned to the shore. when i woke up, it turned out to be a dream.

i felt that there was something wrong with my wife's health. i didn't know whether she remarried after learning that i died in the war or whether she was already dead.

i received a letter from brother chanchun in the hospital. just as i worried, on june 14, 1939, my wife died of illness after entrusting our two children to relatives and saying that she was going to see her late husband.

she died in agony with her hair disheveled and her arms stretched out in front of her when her left foot was pierced by a rusty nail while she was digging an air-raid shelter and contracted tetanus.

translator's note: before death from tetanus, facial muscles spasm, causing a wry smile, and limb muscle spasms, causing opisthotonos, which is quite scary.

i was so depressed. the war was over and we could live together, but my wife died, leaving behind only two children, and i was seriously injured and suffering from a high fever. there was no food or rice in japan today.

i was drafted four times and it was a blessing from god that i came back alive. now that my wife is dead and i have to continue to support our two children, it can only be said that it is fate.

this is the only way. this is difficult. i don't know when i can be discharged from the hospital. last night's dream was actually true. my wife called me over because she thought my injuries were too severe and she couldn't help me. if i walked to the middle of the river, would i die? if i returned to the shore, i might really be saved.

i wish i could be discharged from the hospital one day earlier so that i can bring the children back to take care of them. this is my great responsibility.

i died in battle

the notice said that i died in battle on iwo jima on march 17, 1949. the town held a funeral for me and erected a tombstone at the cemetery of faithful souls. however, i, who should have died, came back alive, while my wife, who should have lived, died.

fate tortured me like this. two years ago, i came to visit my wife at zentsuji temple, but it was a farewell. when i left, i had a premonition that i would never see my wife again, and it became a reality.

narashino

on january 8, 1949, a train with the red cross logo took us to tsudanuma station in chiba prefecture and transferred us to the narashinohara army hospital. the military doctors and nurses were the same as always.

the name of my bed was written on it: army sergeant takahashi toshiharu. i was free to move around, and bought sardines and dumplings on the black market, and cooked them on the stove.

there were fights in the hospital. there were also many people with missing limbs. there were all kinds of people. the village women's association (translator's note: the patriotic women's association during the war? it still exists?) would come to hold a consolation performance. i wanted to go back to tosa this morning to take care of my two children, but my wounds are still not healed.

nursing class

one day, we boarded the train in white clothes, and the wounded without arms and legs leaned on crutches, going from tsudanuma to tokyo. the streets were full of burned ruins.

the former headquarters was now the county nursing department. when we arrived, the county was surprised to see us, a bunch of disabled people with missing arms and legs. we asked to change into military uniforms and boots, and there we took off the american military uniforms and boots and put on japanese clothes and boots.

this kind of embarrassment made everyone in the hospital silent, and if they spoke, they would be scolded. tokyo was burned to the ground, and the us military held the hands of japanese women and laughed and played. we lost the war, but we were also japanese soldiers. even though we knew that these japanese women did this to make a living, we all felt that they were not good people.

the japanese woman who was supposed to be a yamato nadeshiko held hands with the enemy and sold her body. how shameless! (translator's note: the japanese version of "the merchant woman knows not the hatred of the lost country, and still sings the song of the back garden across the river", or "140,000 people took off their armor, and not one of them was a man"? laugh) i returned to chiba in the evening.

okayama

on february 2, 1949, the train took us to the national hospital in okayama. the pus on my back was still flowing, and i went to the hospital for treatment every day. i had a tooth pulled out. the military doctor said that the flesh around the wound had rotted and needed to be transplanted from the thigh. i secretly slipped out of the hospital and wandered around the streets of okayama.

okayama was also burned to the ground, and the bombing was very severe. i also climbed up the mountain in the hospital, looking in the distance towards shikoku tosa, and thought i would go back as soon as possible, so i went down the mountain. i returned to the hospital again.

i thought i was dead before, but now i am still alive and well and want to go back as soon as possible.

my wife is dead, but my children are still alive. what should i do now? i thought i should go back as soon as possible. but the wound has not healed yet.

translator's note: you can recall how long it took for his wound to fester after he was shot on iwo jima. this is a sign of his tenacious vitality, which is as indispensable as luck.

kochi

i took the document that proved that i had to have thigh meat transplanted or i couldn't be cured, and went alone from okayama to kochi. i got on the train in a white hospital gown, but no one gave up their seat, so i just stood. the train was full.

i arrived at the military hospital in asakura and saw the us military sentry. i asked around and found out that the national hospital was in a place borrowed by the red cross inside kochi station, so i had no choice but to return to kochi. when i arrived at asakura station, i learned that there were no tickets for sale, so i had to take the city train.

i took the train to kochi, which was still a flat land after the bombing, and finally got into the hospital.

after giving the information, it was good that we could eat here. if we didn't go to the hospital early, there would be no dinner. there was no money and no hotel.

kochi hospital

there were no tableware in kochi hospital. we cut bamboo joints into pieces and used them as bowls. the kettle was also made of bamboo. everything was made of bamboo. in the army, bowls and chopsticks were all made of metal, but here they were all made of bamboo. i wrote a letter from kochi to nakamura, telling my family that i had arrived in kochi.

my father-in-law and brother fanchun came. they told me that after their wife died, they entrusted their child to brother fanchun to take care of. i wanted to go home early, but it was not possible. they went back to zhongcun.

i asked the military doctor to let me go. the wound was still very painful but it might heal after i went back. the military doctor said that the disability pension would pay for my hospitalization (translator's note: the original text was "en-given diagnosis", if you know the pension policy of the japanese army for disabled soldiers after the war, please add it), but i didn't care so much, i just wanted to go back to see my children as soon as possible. so the military doctor gave me a certificate that i was cured and i could be discharged from the hospital.

but i didn’t think that there might be adverse consequences after being forced to leave the hospital. later, the law was amended and disability compensation was restored. i applied for it, but was rejected because i had a certificate of recovery. i was short-sighted. it is said that some people will take advantage of loopholes and apply for compensation regardless of whether they have been cured.

go home

on february 29, 1949, i was discharged from the hospital alone, with a bandage on my back. i took a bus from kurei back to nakamura.

my mother and children are very happy. katsuyuki still remembers me. he is now 7 years old after all these years, and chieko is 5 years old. i thought both parents were dead, but now they are adopted by my uncle, shigeharu.

i have brought them back to my side now, but i have lost my wife too, and it is very difficult for a grown man to raise two children. at that time, there was no money or rice, and food was rationed, so there was almost nothing to eat.

i had to prepare meals for the children in the morning, clean and wash, and was so busy that i didn't have time to talk. it was really hard. soon i entrusted chieko to brother shigeharu and took care of katsuyuki myself.

the war is over, and i will never join the army again. i will just live my life as an ordinary person. why did the gods take my wife away? it was so cruel to me.

if my wife were still alive, we would be so happy. no matter how difficult it was, there was nothing we could do. things are always unpredictable. i demolished my own grave and revived my household registration. my children were also registered.

my military service ended in march of 1931.

toshiharu takahashi, the engineer corps commander of the yuan army

end of article