xiao fuxing: the plum blossoms fall in the courtyard in the evening breeze
2024-09-04
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when i was in elementary school, the teacher organized a study group. after school, several students who lived nearby gathered in a spacious student's house to do homework and review lessons. the home of this classmate i visited was a quadrangle with a separate entrance and a separate house. it was very spacious and bright. the main house with a corridor had three large rooms. the rooms on both sides were for parents and children respectively. the living room in the middle became the venue for our study group.
at first, we lay on the table and did our homework quietly, but then we got tired of sitting still and started playing and fighting. soon, we made a big fuss. at his house, i never saw his father, probably because he was busy with work. i only saw his mother, who was in her thirties, fair-skinned and graceful. she let us play and didn't care about us.
after playing and having enough fun, it was time to go home as the sky gradually darkened and the weary birds returned to their nests. what i remember most is that there was an old pomegranate tree planted in his yard, with flowers blooming like fire. in the wind of may, some flowers fell, and the ground was dotted with red. his mother walked out of the house and sent us off like an adult, all the way to the door, making us feel very embarrassed for the "havoc in heaven" we had just had in her house.
in middle school, we were admitted to different schools and didn't keep in touch much. after graduating from high school, the trend of going to the countryside to work began. i ran into him on the street and we started chatting. i said i was going to the great northern wilderness and he said he was going to shanxi. when we parted, he said we hadn't seen each other for many years and invited me to his house. i followed him into the alley where he lived. passing by his courtyard, he walked over and took me to another courtyard not far ahead. i thought he had moved, but when i walked in, i saw that it was a large courtyard. he lived in a small house right next to the main gate. in the room, there was only a bed, a small table and a chair, and there was no room for anyone else.
i understood. i sat on the chair and he sat at the head of the bed. i looked at him and he looked at me, neither of us spoke for a while.
after a while, i asked him where his mother lived, and he pointed to the small house next door. i said i should go over to see his mother, but he shook his head and said, "don't go, that house is even more depressing, and she will feel worse if you go there."
many years later, we returned to beijing from the great northern wilderness and shanxi. i went to his home to see him. he was married, and the couple lived in this small house, which seemed even more cramped.
i remember that during that special period, my father was timid and handed over the four silver coins hidden in the house. a few days ago, a young female police officer came to my house and said that it was to implement the policy and gave me four yuan. i asked her: has the policy been implemented for your original yard? he shook his head bitterly.
maybe we were talking a little too loudly, and suddenly, his mother pushed the door open, saw me, and called me by my name. i stood up quickly and called out, "auntie, you have a good memory, you still remember me!"
how can i not remember? the more things happened in the past, the clearer i remember them! she said to me. thinking back to when the study group was at her house, more than 20 years have passed, and she is now over 50 years old, but she doesn't look old. when i praised her like this, she waved her hand and said: don't take anything to heart, and you will feel relaxed! after a pause, she continued: what have you said i haven't seen? what things have i not eaten, and what houses have i not lived in. my classmate interrupted her and pushed her out of the house. before leaving, she turned around and pointed at her classmate and said to me: he is narrow-minded and can't let go, you should try to persuade him!
about 17 or 18 years ago, i heard that the area where my classmate lived was demolished. i knew that his mother and sister were still living in those two small houses, holding on to the final negotiations with the developer. i rushed to look, and the alley had been demolished into pieces. i walked on the broken bricks and tiles and chatted with the neighbors. through the wall, his mother actually heard my voice and said to her daughter: is the person talking outside xiao fuxing? call him in for me.
i went into the house to see her, and she was already sick in bed. i hadn't been here for a long time after my classmates got their own houses and moved out. when i saw her, i didn't recognize her at first. she had been so fair and pretty before, but had shrunk into an old lady as thin as a plum pit. i couldn't help but feel sad. i said to her: auntie! good days are coming, and you will be able to live in a building soon! she waved her hand and said to me what she had said before: what have you said i haven't seen? what things have i not eaten, and what houses have i not lived in. i left the house and walked in the alley, passing by the original courtyard of her home. the courtyard had been demolished, leaving only a pile of rubble. thinking of our study group, and the courtyard at dusk when the pomegranate flowers fell in may that year, it was nearly seventy years ago.
until now, such scenes always come to mind from time to time. two days ago, i read a line from "huanxisha" written by li qingzhao: the evening breeze blows in the courtyard and plum blossoms begin to fall. i can't help but think of that small courtyard again. at that time, it was not plum blossoms that fell, but pomegranate flowers, red pomegranate flowers. (xiao fuxing)
