accept and cherish every change in your body, because it is a sign of growth | heartfelt talk · heart consultation
2024-09-08
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if you have any psychological confusion, you can send a message to the email address: [email protected]. we will invite professional psychological teachers to answer your questions. teacher answering questions this time: zhang yifan, psychology teacher of shenzhen guangming district experimental school
student question: i am a girl in the first grade of junior high school. everyone praised me for being beautiful since i was young. but since the sixth grade, i suddenly gained a lot of weight. i became more and more afraid to look in the mirror, afraid of seeing myself with acne on my fat face. i also lost confidence and always wanted to find a place to hide, not wanting to be seen by others. i am really distressed now. what should i do? i really want to go back to my childhood and find the beautiful and lovely me again.
zhang yifan: hello, classmate. first of all, thank you for sharing your confusion with me. i also feel your sadness and distress, but i want to tell you that many people will encounter similar troubles in the process of growing up, including dissatisfaction with their appearance and fluctuations in self-confidence. it is important that we learn how to get along with this kind of trouble and anxiety and find inner balance and confidence. we can take the following methods to help ourselves actively adjust our mentality.
first, accept the changes in your puberty. when you are in adolescence, your body will experience many changes during growth, including weight gain and various physiological changes during adolescence, which are all normal. many children will care about their body shape and appearance like you after entering adolescence. they will feel inferior and sensitive because their body shape is not beautiful enough, their skin is not smooth enough, and their height is not tall enough. sometimes their weight is within the normal range, but they always feel that they are fat everywhere. they will also compare their photos with online celebrities, which makes them more dissatisfied with their body shape, produce a lot of negative emotions, and even take unscientific methods such as excessive dieting to deal with it, which brings a lot of negative effects. therefore, i hope you will first learn to accept and cherish every change in your body, because they are all signs of your growth. secondly, you can keep your body in good condition through daily healthy diet and exercise, such as eating more vegetables and fruits, reducing the intake of high-sugar and high-fat foods, and maintaining a certain amount of exercise every day.
second, adjust your focus and discover your own shining points and unique beauty. everyone has an ideal perfect self in their heart. when it conflicts with the real self, it will reduce self-confidence and increase inferiority complex. the fatness or thinness of the body, the height, the size of the eyes, the color of the skin, these are just the characteristics of each person, not the shortcomings. many times people pay more attention to their own "flaws in the ointment", and they will feel bored and ashamed in the long run. when you focus and pay attention to what you think is beautiful, and discover more of your advantages and strengths, your self-confidence will naturally increase and your inferiority complex will naturally decrease.
third, improve and perfect your inner beauty. beauty is diverse and not limited to appearance. more importantly, it is the inner kindness, self-confidence and talent. in daily life, cultivate your hobbies, read more, learn new skills, and participate in social activities. these can make your heart richer and stronger. when you focus on your inner growth, you will find that appearance is not the only criterion for measuring a person's value.
remember, everyone is unique, enjoy the fun of growth, and live your own wonderful life!
planning | gong danfeng, chen xiaoxuan, xu hanghang
coordination | wei yi and he ning
supervisory unit | guangdong provincial department of education guangdong provincial institute of education
expert members | psychological researchers and frontline teachers across the province
