many years later, i finally realized the charm of those red comments.
2024-09-17
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after so many years, i still often think of the teacher he yan who always criticized me for writing essays with a poor finish. although he has been dead for nearly 20 years, his appearance has always been clearly imprinted in my mind and has never blurred.
in my memory, mr. he had naturally curly hair, often wore a dark blue suit with a neatly ironed white shirt, and was always smiling. he rarely lost his temper with us, as if we were all very good children.
at that time, maybe because of my good writing skills or my likable personality, i always felt that he had some preference for me, but being favored is often fearless. because his nose was a little big, i gave him a nickname - "dragon king". when he found out later, he didn't get angry, but smiled and said to me: "it's good."
i always recall that he often called me to his office because i wrote essays perfunctorily. he gently but firmly "forced" me to rewrite my essays and would not let me leave the office until i finished. when i finished, he would help me to correct them carefully and submit them for various competitions on my behalf. the various essay award certificates i treasure in my drawer are all gifts from him. i also always remember that he once commented in my diary, saying that my diary was like the sorrows of young werther, and there would always be a long red comment from him at the end of each diary.
until today, when i also follow his example and carefully pick up the red pen to write down my thoughts, instructions, or encouragements for my students, i can truly appreciate the charm of those red annotations back then. they were a teacher's concern and care for his students, and a gardener's cultivation and promotion of seedlings.
unfortunately, i was willful and sensitive at that time, and i could not understand the teacher's intentions. when i saw those eye-catching red comments, i always felt uncomfortable as if my thoughts were seen through. so, he wrote one, and i tore one, and my girlish thoughts and self-esteem were torn into pieces.
a few years after his death, when i was sorting out books, i accidentally found a few diaries with red annotations. i read them over and over again, and over and over again, pulling myself back to those days, and tears suddenly flowed down my face. looking at these few remaining treasures, i suddenly realized what i had lost...
after entering university, i felt ashamed to contact him for a long time because i was not in the school i was assigned to and my major was not my favorite, english, even though i had memorized his phone number. until one day, i suddenly saw the news that he was sick in the class qq group. i dialed his number tremblingly, and when i heard the familiar "hello", i choked up and couldn't say a word. but he smiled and comforted me, saying that being a teacher is good. although you are poor, you have an infinite spiritual wealth. learning mathematics is not necessarily worse than learning english. there are too many people learning english now. if you want to stand out, the pressure is much greater.
at that moment, i didn't feel like i was talking to a seriously ill person. i thought the news of his illness must be fake. but it was true. he was sick, and very sick. the last time i saw him was in the hospital ward. at that time, he was lying in the ward, skinny and unrecognizable. he didn't even have the strength to open his eyes. we didn't have the heart to wake him up. his old father told us naggingly that although he was not energetic now, he remembered every student clearly.
from the time he fell ill to the time he passed away, i never heard him say a single word of frustration, even though fate was unfair to him: when he was young, his beloved wife died of childbirth complications; when he was in his prime, he himself was seriously ill. but he never complained, and always encouraged us with his warm smile and words of encouragement.
now, i am almost 40 years old, and i have been following his footsteps and standing on the podium for more than ten years. over the years, when i was depressed and confused, i would always think of his warmth. he was a light in my life journey, guiding me to keep my passion and progress.
deng zhi source: china youth daily
(source: china youth daily)
