meili: the tavern of worry
2024-09-20
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a few days ago, my husband's classmate from wuhan came to shanghai for training. he went out to eat and drink with him every night and didn't come back until after midnight. later, he invited me to join him. at first, i refused, saying, "wouldn't it be better for you male compatriots to have a good chat?" as a result, his classmate said that he hadn't seen me for many years and hoped to meet me this time because he had to go back to wuhan the next day.
well, since they said so, i should be there. my husband should play the role of host, and the “landlady” should also show up to express welcome. i was the only woman at the table, participating in a dinner of all men, so i just ate, drank and listened to stories. the four men were high school classmates, and except for the one from wuhan, the others all lived in shanghai. two businessmen were lamenting that business was difficult, and that their children’s study abroad was very expensive, and now they were completely living off their savings. two people working in companies complained about the bad things at work. from work, family, to fitness, to international events, etc., the topic could be big or small, and they could switch at will. it turns out that men are also quite cute when they talk a lot, which is definitely another side of them that you don’t see at home.
while chatting, someone suddenly reminded us to drink. it seemed that chatting was a distraction and drinking was the real business. they were very gentlemanly in their drinking style. they didn't urge others to drink. except for the first full glass, whoever wanted to drink could do it themselves. it was ok if they didn't want to drink. my teammates were not good at drinking. they only drank two small cups and then changed to tea. i think if the drinking style is like this, it can be regarded as a kind of "rectification" of the dinner party. the drinking style in my hometown is much more arrogant, which makes people with low alcohol tolerance scared.
several men chatted until the waiter reminded them that they were going to get off work, but they were still not satisfied. i finally understood why japanese men in movies and tv dramas like to go to izakayas to have a drink after work instead of rushing home. men are indeed tired, but they are not good at expressing it. after witnessing their drinking and chatting, i secretly support my husband to organize a drinking and chatting from time to time. people do need three or five friends, even if they are just drinking buddies, chatting and talking nonsense is also very stress-relieving.
women are actually the same. a friend had a minor surgery recently, and the sequelae made her very depressed and in low spirits. after a month or two of rest, she finally couldn't bear it anymore and asked a few sisters to get together in a pub. during the chat, the embarrassment of middle-aged people was fully revealed. speaking of the sequelae of the surgery, another sister at the dinner complained that since she had a pacemaker installed in her heart, she always felt uncomfortable in her chest every night when she went to bed, and could only lie half-lying. another one said that she accidentally fell while playing basketball a while ago, fractured her lumbar vertebrae, and went to the hospital to fill bone cement. the swelling and pain were uncomfortable, and her waist could not be straightened for two or three months, and her movements were as slow as an old woman. it's simply a group of sisters complaining together, come on, cheers! whether it's beer or juice, all we want is an atmosphere of relieving worries and a hearty feeling of venting. the important thing is that after coming out to chat, everyone feels unblocked instantly.
people still need to move around to have strength. a monotonous life every day may seem stable, but it actually consumes energy. after a long time, one's will becomes depressed. so, i saw a post on weibo asking people to talk about how to make themselves happy. the comment with the highest number of likes was to go out and chat and eat with friends.
i recently read hemingway's biography and learned that he and fitzgerald, his discoverer, met in a tavern on rue drembre in paris. it was may 1925, when the 26-year-old hemingway first entered the literary world and was so poor that he could not afford three meals a day and only had two meals a day. the 29-year-old fitzgerald gained fame and fortune for publishing "the great gatsby". but both of them were addicted to alcohol. they spent every day in the tavern, drinking whiskey one glass after another. hemingway even taught fitzgerald to drink directly from the bottle. hemingway recalled that paris was the happiest time of his life, with his beloved first wife hadley by his side, and fitzgerald, his confidant, who could drink and talk about writing with him. fitzgerald strongly recommended hemingway and introduced him to his editor perkins. the following year, hemingway's "the sun also rises" was launched by perkins and became famous in the literary world. the time in paris was indeed wonderful. the young hemingway was tall, mighty and handsome, not at all like the bearded tough guy he later became. love and friendship reached the peak of his life, and his career was on the rise, full of hope and enthusiasm. the two writers drank together. although hemingway was a bold drinker, he knew how to control himself at that time; although fitzgerald looked weak, he drank without restraint and often got drunk. such like-minded friends broke up in the end, which is very sad. it is difficult to like someone for a long time, so there is the sigh of "if only life could be like the first sight". whether it is love or friendship, most of the time someone will accompany you for a journey and then disperse. when you look back in old age, you will filter out the bitterness, sourness and leave only the sweetness. if hemingway had started over again, there is no doubt that he would still lose hadley and fitzgerald.
as we go along, we lose friends. new people keep joining us. it seems that it is human nature to get tired of the old and love the new. well, life is like this. whether we are happy or not, it is good enough to have friends to drink and chat with. (meili)
