Talking to imperfect children | "Sincerity" will help you build a bridge of communication
2024-08-13
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Photo | Visual China
dialogue
Student: Xiao Ming, a 10-year-old boy who is in the fifth grade of a primary school in Nanjing, has recently encountered considerable trouble in interpersonal relationships.
Teacher: Chen Kai, psychology teacher of Jianye Road Primary School in Nanjing, outstanding young teacher of moral education in Qinhuai District, outstanding young Chinese teacher in Qinhuai District, advanced worker of moral education in Qinhuai District, and volunteer of Qinhuai branch of "Teacher Tao Workstation".
Student: Teacher Chen, I don’t know why, I feel like everyone doesn’t like me. Every time I take the initiative to talk to them, they ignore me. Recently, I don’t like playing with my classmates anymore, I’m afraid they will laugh at me.
Teacher Chen: I understand your concerns. But you know what? Sometimes people’s behavior is not directed at you personally, but because they have their own troubles or misunderstandings. Moreover, only through communication can we eliminate misunderstandings and build better relationships.
Student: What should I talk about with my classmates so that I can fit in with them?
Teacher Chen: You can start with a simple greeting, such as "Hello" or "Your clothes look great today." At the same time, remember to keep smiling, which will make others feel that you are friendly. You can also try to share some of your hobbies or recent experiences. This will not only increase the topic, but also allow others to get to know you better. Of course, you should also learn to listen to other people's stories, so that the conversation between you can be more interesting.
Student: Teacher Chen, I found that some students always talk a lot during group discussions, but I don’t know what to say. How can I solve this problem?
Teacher Chen: This is normal. Everyone has different roles and contributions in a group discussion. You can try to prepare some of your own opinions and ideas before the group discussion so that you will have something to say when asked. At the same time, you should also learn to listen to other people's opinions and try to give your own supplements or suggestions. Don't worry about being laughed at by others because your opinions are wrong. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. The important thing is to dare to express your own opinions, even if they may be wrong. Through continuous attempts and practice, you will become better and better at expressing yourself.
Student: I often feel like my ideas are not important. How can I express my ideas and integrate into the group more quickly?
Teacher Chen: Everyone's ideas are unique and deserve to be respected and shared. You should know that your ideas may bring inspiration or help to others. So don't underestimate your own value. You can try to actively express your opinions and ideas in group discussions or class activities. Even if others don't agree with you, you must dare to stick to your position. At the same time, you must learn to respect other people's opinions so that you can establish good interpersonal relationships. It does take time to integrate into the group, but you can be more proactive. For example, helping classmates, participating in group activities, sharing your own experiences and happiness, etc., these are all good ways to integrate into the group.
Student: It’s hard for me to make real friends. How can I build deep friendships with others?
Teacher Chen: It does take some time and effort to make friends. However, as long as you are willing to put in your heart and effort, you will definitely be able to make like-minded friends. You can try to participate in more group activities or clubs, so that you will have more opportunities to meet different people and find common topics. Everyone has their own uniqueness. As long as you are sincere and positive, there will definitely be people who like you. Moreover, friendship is based on mutual respect and trust. Of course, we must also learn to trust and understand others. Remember, friendship is a two-way process and requires both parties to maintain it.
Student: If I try to actively communicate with my classmates, but they still don’t pay much attention to me, should I continue to communicate with them?
Teacher Chen: It doesn't matter. Changing interpersonal relationships takes time and patience. Remember, don't rush for success. Give yourself and your classmates some time to adapt to this change. You can continue to actively communicate with them, or try to find some common interests or topics to get closer to each other. In addition, you can participate in some group activities or clubs to expand your circle of friends. The most important thing is to maintain a positive attitude and confidence, and believe that you can handle the relationship with your classmates well.
Student: I feel like I’m easily influenced by others. How can I make others willing to listen to me?
Teacher Chen: Being able to listen to others is a good quality, but you also need to have your own judgment and thinking. While listening to others' opinions, you should also make decisions based on your own actual situation and needs. Remember, you are an independent individual and have the right to make your own choices. If you want others to be more willing to listen to you, you must learn to listen to others' opinions before expressing your own opinions. At the same time, you can try to use some vivid and interesting examples or stories to support your own opinions, which will make your expression more attractive.
Student: What should I do to avoid conflicts when interacting with my classmates?
Teacher Chen: You asked a very critical and important question. When interacting with classmates, avoiding conflicts does require some skills and strategies. Respect others, which is the basis for building good interpersonal relationships. Respect other people's opinions, feelings and needs, and learn to communicate with respect even if you disagree with them. Avoid ridiculing, sarcasm or belittling others, which often lead to conflicts. When others communicate with you, try to stay focused and listen carefully to their opinions and feelings. Don't rush to interrupt or express your own opinions, but first understand the other person's position and needs. Although everyone has their own opinions and needs, there are usually some common points. Try to find these common points and use them as a basis for connection and communication.
Student: But sometimes conflicts are inevitable. What should I do then?
Teacher Chen: When conflicts occur, try to stay calm and rational. Avoid letting your emotions dominate your words and actions, as this may make the situation worse. If you feel emotional or unable to control your emotions, try to temporarily leave the scene and come back to deal with it after you calm down. Remember, avoiding conflicts does not mean that you should completely avoid communicating with others or expressing your opinions. Instead, it requires you to learn to get along with others with respect, understanding and tolerance to build healthier and more positive interpersonal relationships.
Student: I find that my classmates and I have differences in interests, hobbies, and personality. Can we really be good friends?
Teacher Chen: Everyone is unique, and we all have our own unique interests, hobbies, and personalities. In fact, friends with different interests can complement each other, open up new horizons for you, and add new experiences. You can explore each other's areas of interest together, share knowledge and fun, which can not only enhance your friendship, but also allow you to grow in mutual learning and communication. As long as we learn to respect and understand each other, misunderstandings and conflicts can be reduced. You can try to understand your friends' behaviors and ideas, and think about problems from their perspectives. At the same time, let them understand your personality and needs so that you can better adapt and support each other. Friendship is based on respect, understanding, and support. As long as you are willing to make an effort, the differences between you and your classmates will not become an obstacle to your friendship. On the contrary, they will become a valuable asset to your friendship, allowing you to cherish and enjoy each other's company more.
Insights
Children's words:
This conversation was not only a problem-solving process, but also a journey of self-growth. I learned skills such as actively communicating with classmates, listening and respecting other people's opinions, expressing my own views, controlling my emotions, and maintaining a positive attitude. These skills can not only help me improve my relationship with my classmates, but also improve my adaptability and mental health. I believe that after this summer, this valuable conversation and the skills I learned will accompany me as I grow and lay a solid foundation for my future.
Teacher Chen’s words:
Xiao Ming is a boy with a lot of energy. He tries hard to solve the problem of interpersonal communication. This courage is amazing! A fifth-grade boy like Xiao Ming has begun to enter a stage where he needs more interpersonal skills. Students at this age begin to interact with the outside world more independently, and the importance of interpersonal skills becomes increasingly prominent. Establishing good interpersonal relationships is essential for their study, life and future growth.
Interpersonal communication is a process of continuous learning and growth, and is an indispensable part of everyone's growth. By mastering the skills and methods of active listening, expressing oneself, cultivating self-confidence, treating others sincerely, and handling conflicts, everyone can establish harmonious interpersonal relationships with others and lay a solid foundation for their future growth and development.
Sincerity is one of the most valuable qualities in interpersonal communication. Try to express your thoughts and feelings! Don't worry, kids, sincerity will help you build a bridge of communication!
Proofread by Xu Heng
