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at what age do we allow children to cry?

a 1-year-old girl was crying on a plane and was taken to the bathroom by two strange women to be "educated". in the video, which was suspected to be shot by one of the women, the girl was blocked in the bathroom and continued to cry. on august 26, a netizen posted this video on the internet, which immediately attracted attention.

china news weekly noted that the person who posted the video claimed to be one of the parties involved. according to her, the child kept crying, and many people blocked his ears with tissues. some people went to the back row to get some peace and quiet. some passengers also protested to the child's grandparents. she showed the child a video of her own child playing on her mobile phone. after 15 minutes of coaxing, the crying did not stop, so she and another aunt took the child from the grandmother and took him to the airplane toilet to "set rules."

the two women's "education" method has caused controversy. at present, the video in question has been deleted. in the comments under the netizen's video account, many netizens posted screenshots of calling the police.

on the evening of august 26, juneyao airlines issued a notice on the incident: the two passengers' actions had been approved by the child's grandmother, and the child's mother later expressed her understanding of the two passengers' assistance on the plane. however, this notice triggered another round of uproar.

on the afternoon of the 27th, a customer service representative of the airline told china news weekly that juneyao airlines always pays attention to the travel experience of children and other special groups. regardless of whether the guardians agree, the airline condemns the stranger's so-called education of the young child in this incident. that night, a staff member of juneyao airlines' public relations department told china news weekly that the police are also involved in the investigation, and the final result will be mainly announced by the police, "it may not be convenient for us to release further information."

take it to the bathroom to "set rules"

"you can leave if you stop crying." "be quiet for three minutes. if you cry outside, you'll have to bring it back in." in the video, a woman looked down at the child and said. according to the above netizen's description, the child cried very loudly in the cabin, causing dissatisfaction among many passengers. therefore, she and another female passenger took the child from the child's grandmother and took him to the toilet on the plane, and did not let the child's grandmother come in.

"but i recorded everything on video. auntie (another passenger) and i set the rules together," the netizen said. after the "education" of the two, the child did not cry for more than two hours, "and then we had breakfast together and were happy together."

however, the video quickly sparked controversy, with many netizens questioning the two women's inappropriate behavior.

in response, the woman said: "i like to act and don't like to be a spectator. i just want to coax the children and let everyone have a good rest." however, she later deleted the relevant video. in the comments under the woman's video account, many netizens posted screenshots of the police report. china news weekly noted that the woman's account can no longer be searched on social platforms.

on august 26, shanghai juneyao airlines co., ltd. released a statement on the incident:

the company noted the online circulation of an incident in which a child passenger was taken to the restroom for education by a stranger due to crying on board an airplane. the company immediately launched an internal investigation and contacted the child's parents to inquire about the situation and verify the facts in order to restore the truth of the matter.

the child traveled with his grandparents on flight ho2382 (guiyang-pudong) on ​​august 24. the flight took off on time at around 7 a.m. during the flight, the child continued to cry. in order to avoid disturbing other passengers' rest, with the consent of his grandmother, two passengers took the child to the bathroom to educate him. during the process, the child's grandmother went with him and waited at the bathroom door.

juneyao airlines said it had verified the situation with the child's mother over the phone. the child's mother said she had learned the full story from her grandmother and expressed understanding for the two passengers' assistance on board.

however, the notice immediately sparked controversy, with netizens questioning juneyao airlines for condoning passengers' "violence".

on the afternoon of august 27, a staff member of the guizhou airport public security bureau command center told china news weekly, "we are also handling it, and the specific situation is not clear yet."

according to a previous report by upstream news, a staff member of the above-mentioned command center mentioned that (coaxing the child) did have the consent of the child's grandparents, "if it was not agreed, we would deal with it."

the report said that since the child's guardian had agreed, the police could not say anything more. but the child's grandparents did not know about the video. the staff said that they verbally educated the child's grandparents: "we also told the child's grandparents and parents (about this situation). because (the grandparents) clearly asked others to take care of the child, others also took the initiative to say 'if you have never taken care of the child, we will help you.' later, the child's grandparents also thanked the two women. in the end, after verification, there was no big problem."

no specific regulations

the public's emotions were mostly focused on the children's perspective. some netizens asked in confusion why even the crying of a one-year-old child could not be tolerated, and why crying infants and young children could not be considered "naughty children." under the surge of public opinion, juneyao airlines' official attitude also changed significantly.

on the afternoon of august 27, a customer service representative of juneyao airlines told china news weekly that the specific situation is subject to the information provided by the company's official platform. however, he emphasized that juneyao airlines always pays attention to the travel experience of children and other special groups, and condemns the stranger's so-called education of young children in this incident regardless of whether the guardian's consent is obtained.

according to a previous report by juneyao airlines, what happened in the bathroom of the flight can be understood as a kind person helping an elderly person to comfort the little girl. however, many netizens hold different opinions. some people worry that the behavior of the passenger involved will cause great psychological fear to the child. there are also views that infants and young children have the right to take public transportation such as airplanes and high-speed trains, and their crying should be understood rather than blamed.

a senior flight attendant from an airline told china newsweek that his airline has no specific regulations on how to deal with crying children, "but airplanes are public transportation and general public transportation codes of conduct should be observed."

"if a child cries severely on the plane, the crew must intervene. they must first understand the situation, such as why the child is crying, and then take out some toys and snacks to distract the child, etc., to maintain order on the plane." the chief flight attendant said it is worth noting that many airlines are currently reducing costs and staffing. "in addition, during the summer travel season, there may be dozens of children on a flight. it is impossible to guarantee that all crying children can be taken care of."

another flight attendant from one of the four major airlines also said that there are no specific regulations on how to deal with crying children, but similar courses will be shared in the cabin service course.

"the first thing is to understand the general reason why the child is crying. is it because he is hungry and wants milk, is he too hot because he is wearing too many clothes, or is his eardrum uncomfortable during descent or turbulence. different service plans are needed for different situations." the flight attendant mentioned that if the above situations are excluded and the child just keeps crying, small toys and snacks can be provided to comfort the child while ensuring safety (snacks also need to be provided according to the age group of the child, generally small bread can be used). in level flight, adults can be asked to stand up or walk in the aisle for a while to comfort the child.

the above-mentioned flight attendant said that when children are crying and making trouble, the flight attendants will also do some simple comforting to the passengers around them and seek other passengers' understanding. they have also encountered situations where other passengers were dissatisfied due to flight delays and crying children, and "the flight attendants will strengthen the cabin patrol and provide mineral water and tea services."

on the evening of the 27th, the above-mentioned juneyao airlines public relations staff told china news weekly that since the police are also involved in the investigation, the final result will be based on the police report, and the airline is not convenient to release further information for the time being.

the staff member declined to describe the specific circumstances of the incident, but said that the airline's cabin crew would proactively intervene in special situations on flights. "for example, if our cabin crew finds a child crying continuously on the flight, they will proactively ask the child's parents why the child is crying and whether the child's parents need help."

according to the staff member, the flight time of the flight in question was about 2 hours and 45 minutes.

it is difficult to directly determine whether it is an illegal act

"did what happened on the flight in question give people the illusion that the two strangers knew the child's grandmother?" the above-mentioned flight attendant expressed his doubts.

tan mintao, a lawyer at beijing zhongwen (xi'an) law firm, told china news weekly that the two parties had obtained the consent of the child's grandparents to give the child special "education". the child's grandparents were also present at the time and did not explicitly raise any objections. in addition, the child's mother also expressed her understanding afterwards, which also shows that the two parties' education of the child was recognized by the guardian and there was no infringement on the rights of minors. therefore, it is difficult to directly determine that the two parties have violated the law from a legal perspective.

tan mintao explained that as the temporary guardians of the children, the grandparents’ right to “consent” is subject to certain restrictions when others want to take the children away for “education”. however, in this case, it was impossible for the grandparents to ask the parents for their opinions at the time, so the grandparents’ consent was equivalent to the guardian’s consent. if the airline can prove that it has taken necessary measures to maintain cabin order and protect the rights of passengers, then they may not need to bear additional responsibilities.

however, he said that posting the video online without the consent of the girl's guardian would be a violation of the girl's privacy rights.

xiong bingqi, president of the 21st century education research institute, pointed out that in real life, some parents may use the method of "locking up naughty children in a small dark room and using intimidation-style education" to educate them, but this traditional educational method is problematic.

"first, it may have an impact on the child's psychology. when he grows up, he may develop a fear of confined spaces. secondly, this simple and crude way of education cannot achieve the effect of educating people, and children cannot recognize their own problems. the correct approach is that parents should guide their children, comfort their emotions, and not make noise in the cabin to affect the surrounding passengers. on the other hand, parents can report to the flight attendants and ask them to take the children out of the cabin for comfort." he said.

xiong bingqi believes that judging from the airline’s notification, the child’s grandmother agreed to lock the child in the bathroom, which to a certain extent exposes problems with the child’s family education.

"there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the problem of children crying in public places. we need to focus on protecting children's rights and interests while taking into account the right to peace of others to solve the problem. after all, everyone wants a quiet and comfortable travel environment," said tan mintao.