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i think everyone has heard about the farce on juneyao airlines.

the cause was that a little girl over one year old was crying and making a fuss while traveling on a plane with her grandparents, disturbing the passengers in front, behind, and around her.

grandma coaxed her for a while and even tried to let her watch videos on her phone to divert her attention, but it had little effect.

when she was in distress, two passengers "stepped forward" and carried the child to the toilet, under the pretext of "setting rules for her."

so we have the scene that everyone sees.

in the small bathroom on the plane, the little girl was pulling at the door, crying heartbreakingly and calling for her grandma.

the two did not comfort him, but instead threatened him fiercely:

“don’t cry!”

"when you stop crying, you can go out."

it's not enough to just talk, you have to point your finger at people to intimidate them.

teach her how to ride an airplane properly; she cannot cry, make a fuss, play with her phone, or watch videos.

"children this young are not allowed to use mobile phones.

do you still want your eyes?"

after a while, the child perhaps realized that crying was useless, or perhaps was frightened by the strong aura of the stranger, and could only hold back his sobs, in exchange for the two men's sonorous threats:

"if you cry again outside, i'll bring you back in."

"if you make any more noise, i'll leave you here alone."

after completing this satisfying educational undertaking, one of the parties involved uploaded the on-site video and felt that he had done a good thing.

as a result, netizens taught him a lesson.

after the incident became a big deal, juneyao airlines also issued a statement.

the overall statements are similar, emphasizing that the child's grandparents knew about the matter and agreed to it, and the child's mother also understood it, and said that the two women's behavior was“offering assistance”。

the wording is really weird, as if these two strangers did the right thing and everyone should praise them.

to be honest, the whole thing is beyond my comprehension.

why can the child’s grandparents feel so comfortable allowing strangers to take the child to a closed space for “education”?

why didn't the crew members go to understand the situation and dissuade the protesters in time after hearing such fierce shouting?

why can a stranger passenger confidently and condescendingly "educate" (actually teach a lesson) a young child?

and why did the child's mother say well done after learning the whole story?

how is this different from bullying?

what is the difference with detention?

this child is only a little over one year old. i guess he has just learned to walk not long ago, and he can't speak much clearly.

she hasn't even started kindergarten yet, and she may have never been separated from her family in her short life.

it's hard to imagine how she felt when she was locked in a closed bathroom, forced to get along with strangers, and pointed at and shouted at. was she scared? terrified? was she helpless and at a loss?

would such a scene traumatize her?

will it be that every time she enters a similar closed environment in the future, she will be able to recall the time when she was a little kid and was pointed at and verbally abused by people who were several times older than her?

she even found it difficult to understand why she was being treated this way.

after all, from beginning to end, it seemed that no one cared about why she was crying, and they just assumed that she was disobedient and undisciplined.

but maybe she felt uncomfortable during takeoff? maybe the change in air pressure caused her to ache somewhere?

many adults also feel chest tightness and discomfort when the plane takes off, let alone a child over one year old?

but she is still young, there are many things she doesn't understand and can't express.therefore, they need adults to comfort and guide them rather than directly use violence and intimidation.

we have to admit that the attitudes of all parties involved in this incident reflect the attitude of our society.

it used to be said that children are the future of the country, but now our society's tolerance for children is getting lower and lower.it has gradually turned into a "child-hating" society from top to bottom.

judgments and complaints about children can be seen everywhere on the internet.

they were "simply demons" on the plane.

on the high-speed train, they were asked not to cry or make a fuss.

in the subway, netizens wanted to beat the ignorant stranger child "until he wouldn't even recognize his own mother."

in order to avoid conflicts, some public institutions will take it for granted to directly deal with children and their parents.

some netizens reported that the taiyuan high-speed railway section had repeatedly broadcast a message asking infants and young children to go to the connecting area of ​​the carriages if they cried. if the child whimpered but did not cry or scream loudly, he would be immediately pulled to the connecting area of ​​the carriages and not even given his seat back.

in the end, even during the 10 hours, parents spent most of the time holding their children at the connection between the carriages.

searching some keywords on the internet, more people openly express their boredom and even disgust towards children, which seems to imply that "fewer births and fewer children will bring peace to the world."

on weibo, everyone says "man is evil by nature."

because "i never cried for no reason when i was a child", so "it is natural to hate children nowadays".

someone complained on xiaohongshu: there is no need for a reason to hate children.

it's even more terrifying on zhihu, where people can remain anonymous. there are many people who threaten to strangle someone to death or kill four people with one punch.

it's magical.

normally, users of these platforms look down on each other, and everyone plays their own games and thinks the other is stupid. but when it comes to children, they can tacitly reach a consensus and stand on the same side.

driven by negative emotions, those behaviors of "hitting hard" against children and parents are often supported and praised.

the children were making a lot of noise on the high-speed train, and the man was so angry that he burst into a roar. it was a high-energy output. netizens paid tribute to him and said that he was their mouthpiece and they hoped to meet such a big brother again next time they take the train.

after the two women on the plane "taught by words and deeds" to the little girl, some people still praised this "soft and hard educational method."

everyone has completely lost their tolerance and patience towards children.

people have developed a tacit public consciousness that children crying in public should be stopped and corrected, even if there are no regulations stipulating this.

those "sanctions" were thus shrouded in a sacred halo, highlighting the justice and fearlessness of the "warriors".

if people only quarrel with children's parents, it can be regarded as a contradiction and conflict between adults. but when some adults ignore the boundaries and directly point the spearhead at young children, things become distorted and filled with more unspeakable malice.

but this is the current situation in the country.

no matter what kind of person this is, whether he or she visits weibo or xiaohongshu, whether he or she is a liberal or patriotic, a male chauvinist or a female chauvinist, they all hate children and would like to kill them.

many will even put it into action.

it feels like the whole society is marinated in the sentiment of "child-hating".

i really don't understand.

when many adults make mistakes, everyone will use "he is still a child" as an excuse. but when it comes to real children, people are even more harsh and less understanding.

how can we expect a child to understand everything?

in fact, it is difficult to reason with children because they have not yet formed an understanding of the rules of the world.

they don't have good emotional management skills, and there is no way to stop them from crying just by stopping them.

especially those babies who can't even understand human language.

their crying is a way of conveying emotions and expressing themselves externally. it is their special language, their main activity and exercise, and a normal physiological phenomenon.

in this situation, it is simply unrealistic to expect children to be like machines and become quiet as soon as the remote control is pressed.

as for why people tend to get irritated when they hear a child crying, there is actually a very scientific explanation.

a paper published in the british journal of childhood studies said: the crying of a baby is a special stimulus to adults.

many people suddenly become nervous when they hear a baby crying because crying can cause fluctuations in an adult's heart rate and blood pressure.

it stimulates the adult brain, prompting parents to take care of their babies; for people other than parents, when affected by this sound, they will realize that it is not their responsibility and will not bother taking care of the babies.

this conflict between consciousness and subconsciousness will cause anxiety far beyond that caused by other noises.

children's crying is uncontrollable, but others' scolding of parents who are taking care of children is conscious and spontaneous. everyone knows who is more uncultured between the two.

if parents who have children but don't know how to discipline them are giant babies, then aren't those who force their immature children to make concessions that they are unable to make at their age even bigger giant babies?

i saw a particularly interesting answer on zhihu before.

someone asked if the sound of a crying baby is a nuisance:

the answerer cited a german regulation:

as a resident, you must accept the normal social environment.

likewise,

"residents must accept the sound of babies crying at night."

the word müssen (must) in german is more serious than sollen. once adults use this word to others, it means there is no possibility of a second choice.

in other words, in the eyes of germans, the crying of a baby should not be regarded as noise, but as normal environmental sound.

some other western countries have also introduced relevant laws, classifying the crying of infants and young children under the age of 6 as "natural sounds."

the purpose is to protect the children's right to speak out, and they must not be driven away even if they disturb people nearby.

looking at the domestic situation, there may still be some room for improvement.

sometimes i feel like,"child phobia" in modern society is essentially a form of "bullying the weak".

a very strange current situation is that when adults talk on the phone loudly, watch short videos, or even do something more outrageous on public transportation, very few people try to dissuade them or protest.

however, when they see a crying child, everyone's "public morality" suddenly surges, and they can't wait to post them online for trial.

after thinking about it, those unreasonable people have the same logic: if you meet someone stronger than me, you should give in to me because i am a member of the disadvantaged group. if you meet someone weaker than me, just like a parent taking care of a child, then shut up.

sure enough, "double standards" are the most common values ​​nowadays.

in such a crazy environment, it is no wonder that the little girl asked:"why can adults be so loud? why should children be scolded for speaking loudly?"

to put it bluntly, isn't it just that you think these kinds of people are easy to bully?

no one even thinks this is "bullying", but rather "maintaining order and upholding justice", so they give the green light.

but this should not be the direction of social development!

yes, the birth rate is getting lower and lower, and people are less and less willing to have children. this is everyone's freedom. but we have to admit that the future of society still depends on today's children.

to put it bluntly, they are indeed the flowers of the motherland. at least in the future, our pension will still depend on them to pay.

precisely because of this, we should be more tolerant towards children and not express our emotions in response to normal physiological phenomena; nor should we infinitely magnify individual rights and squeeze out the rights of other groups.

but at the same time, parents cannot allow older children to act recklessly. if they can still understand what is said, they should at least teach them the most basic social rules.

after all, understanding and tolerance are mutual.

let’s get back to the matter itself.

there is another detail that makes me feel terrified - the children's parents condone and even understand these things.

this seems to mean that they also feel in their hearts that such children should be criticized, punished and educated.

they may also subconsciously feel relieved and think:

"you never listen to anything i say to you. now let others teach you a lesson. let's see if you dare to disobey me in the future."

i feel this is also the typical thinking of many parents.

they think that their children are their own property, and the biggest requirement for their children is to be obedient and submissive.

i believe many people have heard the "threat" from their parents when they were young: if you continue to cry, the wolf grandma/old beggar will take you away.

i believe many people have experienced such a childhood: if you did something that was not what your parents wanted, you would be beaten mercilessly. the more you cried, the harder you would be beaten.

that’s why there is yang yongxin, who uses electric shock to help people quit internet addiction and makes children tamed in pain so that they dare not disobey.

so there was also the yuzhang academy, where students would be beaten if they didn’t obey the orders, until they had no thoughts of their own and could not resist.

you may ask, this will not help children become successful, so why do such institutions exist?

because they are not satisfying the children, nor are they responsible for the children. their clients are parents, and the demands of parents are not to make their children "successful" or "happy", but to make their children "obedient".

although it sounds unbelievable, many parents have this need.they don't care whether their children live a good life, are happy or not, or whether they will be successful or awesome in the future. they just need an obedient puppet doll that they can manipulate at will.

they are even willing to spend a lot of money on it.

they even solemnly glorify this behavior and rationalize it with the high-sounding words "i'm doing this for your own good."

but in fact, they are just doing it for their own good.

so they are willing to give up their responsibilities and obligations and allow strangers to teach their children without distinguishing the importance of the lesson and ignoring boundaries.

the underlying message may be: "i can't control this child anyway, so whoever can control him can do it. as long as he listens, anything is fine, including beating and scolding him."

as a result, some children were pushed to the forefront and became the target of public criticism, while the parents who should have taken the most responsibility were instead invisible.

now everyone is calling for people not to be child-hating and to be more tolerant of children, but i sadly feel that as long as such parents exist, the child-hating sentiment will become more and more intense.

i sincerely hope that parents will understand sooner that children are not accessories or stuffed toys that are bought, but living people with independent personalities. it is impossible for them to be obedient in everything.

don't be harsh or mean to your children all the time. the way you treat your children is likely to be the way they will treat you in the future.