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recently, a woman complained online, saying that she paid a betrothal gift of 380,000 yuan to a woman in order to marry her son off. however, she cancelled the engagement due to the woman's reasons, but the other party refused to return the betrothal gift, which attracted attention.

online complaints——

the woman paid the woman 380,000 yuan in betrothal gifts for her son

the marriage was called off because the woman asked for full payment for a house and a car

starting from august 22, a woman filed complaints through online platforms. she claimed to be from liangshan, shandong, and she wanted to marry her son and paid the woman 400,000 yuan in gifts and other expenses, but the woman broke off the engagement but did not return the gifts.

in response to this, the woman explained in detail in other videos that the 380,000 yuan betrothal gift was insisted on by the woman. after she gave it to the other party, she also bought four golds, an apple phone, and a fee for changing her name, etc. according to the other party's requirements, spending a total of 440,000 yuan. later, when the two parties discussed getting married, the woman asked for full payment for a house and a car. "i couldn't afford it, so i sued. the court sentenced 340,000 yuan, but after the judgment came down, the woman refused to pay..."

the woman said, "i had a house before we got engaged, but the woman thought the house was in a bad location, so she asked me to pay for a new house and a car..."

on august 27, the woman posted another video saying that the woman asked her for mental damages, "i am asking for my betrothal gift legally, why should i pay her mental damages?"

court mediation

coordinated the woman to return the betrothal gift of 340,000 yuan, and the man gave up other litigation requests

the woman returned 20,000 yuan in court, and the remaining 320,000 yuan was agreed to be returned in three months.

in addition, according to the "liangshan county court civil mediation book" shown in the video, the plaintiff is his son cao, born in 2007. he met the woman through chatting on the online platform. the two parties were engaged on april 28, 2023. on the same day, he paid the woman a gift of 380,000 yuan (8,800 yuan was pledged), a change of words fee of 10,000 yuan, four golds (bracelets, earrings, rings, necklaces) and an apple 14pro mobile phone. after the engagement, the woman zhang refused to associate with cao, resulting in the termination of the engagement between the two parties, and zhang refused to return the gift... on july 8, the liangshan county court filed a case. during the trial, the two parties reached an agreement: the woman returned the man's gift of 20,000 yuan on july 18, and returned the gift of 100,000 yuan, 100,000 yuan, and 120,000 yuan on august 18, september 18, and october 18. if the woman fails to perform the above agreement on time, the man has the right to apply for compulsory execution according to the total gift of 380,000 yuan; the man waives other claims.

civil mediation book

according to multiple videos posted by a netizen, the woman and several others went to a hot pot restaurant run by the woman, allegedly because the woman did not return the betrothal money as promised, and shouted "give me back the betrothal money" in front of the store, sparking heated discussion.

screenshots of the video circulating online show that many of the man’s family members went to the hot pot restaurant run by the woman to ask for the return of the betrothal gift.

the man’s family members said:

both the engaged couple were born around 2007, and according to local customs, they get married early.

on the afternoon of august 28, a reporter from the huashang daily dafeng news contacted a relative of the man, who said that cao was her nephew and that he and the girl were both born around 2007. "both children graduated from junior high school. according to local customs, engagement, marriage, and childbirth are all relatively early, and the children will get married and then obtain a marriage certificate when they reach the legal age." according to article 1,047 of my country's civil code: the marriage age for men shall not be earlier than 22 years old, and for women shall not be earlier than 20 years old.

the relative said that in april 2023, the two parties had been engaged for about a year and were originally scheduled to hold the wedding in may 2024, but around march, the woman made higher demands, "the woman asked to buy a house and a car in the county town with full payment." "my nephew's family bought a house in the town and renovated it, but the other party was unwilling and wanted to choose a place in the county town."

the relative explained that the current housing price in some better areas of liangshan county is about 7,000 yuan per square meter, "the woman has never made any relevant requests before. is it easy for ordinary people to take out 1 million yuan to buy a house and a car? we did not agree to this matter with the woman, and the other party was unwilling." after finding matchmakers and middlemen to mediate several times, the other party just refused to return the money.

refusal to return -

the request to return the gift on the agreed date was rejected

he had no choice but to hold up a sign in front of the woman's store and demand a refund of the betrothal gift.

"we can't meet the material conditions that this girl wants." the relative said that after they sued the court, the court mediated and the other party returned 340,000 yuan, and 20,000 yuan was returned on the same day. on august 18, they asked the other party for money according to the court's "civil mediation book", and the other party said that it was the weekend and the court was not open, "this money does not need to be paid to the court at all, it can be directly transferred to the bank account."

on august 19, the man’s mother once again went to the shop run by the woman and demanded that the other party return the money. “the other party spoke rudely and didn’t give it.” on august 20, they called a lot of people and went to the door of the woman’s shop together, holding up a sign that read “reject the sky-high bride price” to “ask for an explanation.”

the relative said that this incident has attracted a lot of attention, and the relevant units of the county party committee and the police station have all come to the scene to coordinate the issue. on august 28, the man and the woman were called to mediation by the relevant departments, and they have been negotiating for a day. "i heard that the woman may be owed tens of thousands of yuan. the woman also asked my sister to shoot a video to clarify the matter."

are you willing to return it?

after multiple attempts to contact the woman, they were fruitless. several insiders said they were still in the process of mediation.

"the woman returned the betrothal gift, and the money was several tens of thousands of yuan short."

on august 28, a reporter from the huashang daily dafeng news tried to contact the woman several times through the hot pot restaurant she operated, but she never responded.

the reporter of huashang daily dafeng news noticed that the woman's complaint was made through a self-media blogger. the reporter contacted the blogger, who said that the man and woman went to fenghuangshan police station for coordination at 9 am on august 28, and the court and other departments intervened one after another, but all failed to mediate. the reporter asked the blogger if he could provide the contact information of the man's mother, but the blogger did not provide it.

in this regard, the reporter tried to contact the man's relative for verification. the relative said that the relevant departments were coordinating to deal with the matter. during the negotiation, the man's mother contacted her and said that the other party was willing to return the money, but it was estimated to cost tens of thousands of yuan. on the evening of august 28, the relative said that the two sides were still negotiating further and there was no result for the time being. "whether to accept the interview or not will be replied after the negotiation is over."

response from relevant parties:

police station: we are trying our best to coordinate, the impact is not good

civilization department: the situation is complicated, not just a matter of sky-high bride price

on the evening of august 28, a reporter from the huashang daily contacted the fenghuangshan police station as a citizen. the staff said, "we are trying our best to coordinate with them. we can't tell you the specific situation. we definitely want to handle it well. after all, the impact is not good."

on the afternoon of august 28, the reporter contacted the civilization section of liangshan county party committee, and the staff said, "the internal causes of this matter are very complicated. it is not a simple issue of sky-high bride price. in fact, there are many other issues, so it is inconvenient for me to respond to you now." "this matter should have a unified response from the news section."

regarding the issue of "sky-high bride price", the staff member said that they will strictly follow the documents of the superiors to carry out some publicity on changing customs and habits. "the documents have not been issued this year, and the documents of previous years are not convenient to be announced to the public." "as far as this matter is concerned, the inside story is very complicated, and i can't explain it to you now."

in this regard, the reporter tried to contact the news department several times, but to no avail.

government official website——

in 2020, a crackdown was launched to curb the sky-high bride price

there are still a few cases of high betrothal gifts.

according to the reply of liangshan county civil affairs bureau to the suggestion of "curbing high bride price in changing customs" put forward to the deputies of the national people's congress on july 1, 2024, in 2020, the office of the county party committee and the office of the county government issued the "notice on issuance" (liangbanfa [2020] no. 10), and launched the "four major tough actions", which effectively curbed the bad phenomena such as lavish weddings and funerals and sky-high bride price, and the level of civilization in rural society continued to improve. so far, there are indeed very few high bride price and hotel bundled wedding sales, which waste manpower and material resources and pollute the social atmosphere... the county civil affairs bureau will continue to do a good job in curing high bride price in changing customs from the following aspects:

continue to give full play to the role of the leadership group for changing customs and habits, with the county party secretary as the group leader, and be responsible for the organization, supervision and coordination of the work of changing customs and habits and high bride price governance in the county. implement the "daily report system" for weddings and funerals and the system of holding a special meeting on changing customs and habits once a month in each township (street), forming a three-level governance network for changing customs and habits at the county, township and village levels... the county party committee propaganda department organized the county youth league committee, the county women's federation, the county court and other relevant personnel to form a "teaching team to curb sky-high bride price", and organized tours and lectures in markets, communities and enterprises. at present, liangshan county has carried out more than 50 tours and lectures on curbing high bride price, covering more than 30,000 people. the county radio and television station's wechat public account was used to reprint the "resist high bride price and advocate new marriage customs" initiative and typical practices, and all towns (streets) were encouraged to broadcast the "resist high bride price and advocate new marriage customs" initiative on "loudspeakers" and propaganda vehicles in a loop. various activities such as "village rules and regulations enter night (fair) markets" and "i will read the village rules and regulations" were organized to publicize the "resist high bride price and advocate new marriage customs" initiative and create a strong atmosphere for changing customs.

zhang pengkang, reporter of china business news editor dong lin