when i grew up, i really became you
2024-09-17
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map: wang chen
editor’s note:
some people say that teachers are a mirror for children, and children look for their best future selves in this mirror. a teacher's casual words, a look, or an encouragement may become the driving force for children's growth. the peaches and plums do not speak, but the paths are formed by their own people. the best way to follow a role model is to become him. those children who once looked up at the stars under the podium are now passing on the torch and becoming guides to illuminate another group of children.
this year coincides with the 40th teachers' day. in order to implement general secretary xi jinping's important instructions on vigorously promoting the spirit of educators and create a good atmosphere for learning and promoting the spirit of educators in the whole society, especially among young people, this newspaper and the teacher affairs department of the ministry of education jointly launched the "me and my teacher" collection activity from the end of april this year. today, we continue to launch some of the essays from nearly 6,000 works from 31 provinces across the country for readers.
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that year, i went to the wrong examination room for the high school entrance examination
ding linxia
the high school entrance examination 31 years ago seemed as fleeting as a passing cloud, but recalling it makes me feel weak as if all the strength in my body has been drained.
i counted the 125 steps of the school leisurely and arrived at the examination room on time, but found that a male classmate had already taken my seat. i was shocked and walked forward quickly: "classmate, this is my seat!"
the boy seemed confused by my question, and after a moment he said, "impossible!"
"check your number!" he reminded me and i looked down to check my number, once, twice, three times... that's right! he was right! my admission ticket number was different from the one on my seat. there was a wrong number. i was stunned for a moment. my sore arms seemed unable to hold the piece of paper that was as light as a feather...
the world was so quiet! and i, holding the admission ticket that was heavier than mount tai, stood in the middle of the playground.
i don't know how long it took, but a familiar figure flashed across my eyes. it was the always serious teacher zhang, who had been my first-grade homeroom teacher. when i saw him, it was like seeing a life-saving straw. i suppressed my anxiety, mustered up my courage, and walked towards him. when teacher zhang saw me, he couldn't hide his shock and ran towards me...
"teacher zhang, i, i went to the wrong examination room!" i said timidly.
"what?" teacher zhang couldn't hide his surprise. he snatched the admission ticket from my hand and ran towards the school's bulletin board.
line after line, teacher zhang quickly scanned the densely packed numbers.
i only heard teacher zhang say to me in his usual calm voice: "you are not at this test site, hurry up! let's go to the experimental primary school test site!" after that, he turned and rushed into the rain curtain, running down the three steps at a time.
time flew by, and i followed closely while wiping my tears, stumbling all the way to the experimental primary school.
many parents who were sending their children to take the exam gathered by the bulletin board of experimental primary school. they looked at me with endless pity: "whose child is this? why did she come so late?" "she is so late, i don't know if she can take the exam!"
teacher zhang didn't stop for a second. while catching his breath, he quickly searched for the admission ticket number on the bulletin board. "i found it. it's in examination room 49. the teacher can't take you up there. just run all the way up. don't stop. don't be afraid. do well in the exam. you'll still have time!" i looked at the teacher, nodded vigorously, raised my hands, wiped away my tears, rushed straight to the stairs, ran all the way to examination room 49, and ran directly to the only empty desk.
as soon as i sat down, the bell rang!
that was the bell that prohibited candidates from entering the examination center.
no one knew why the girl was late. no one asked, no one looked at her, the examinees were writing furiously, the examination room was so quiet that only my rapid breathing could be heard.
i started answering the questions, but my hand holding the pen kept shaking.
"don't be afraid, do well in the exam, there's still time!" teacher zhang's calm words echoed in my ears. i pursed my lips and concentrated, reading the questions, thinking, and answering them almost simultaneously. when the invigilator said there were two minutes left, there was still one paragraph left in my composition. i gritted my teeth and continued writing. when the bell rang to end the exam, i wrote the last period.
in a trance, i saw teacher zhang happily turning away from the bulletin board, and saw my parents anxiously staggering towards me. i stood up and staggered towards them, but before i could say a word, tears were already streaming down my face...
the exam that changed my life was not left to me because of teacher zhang. the total score of the chinese test was 120, and my score was 105.
many years later, when i stood on the podium, what i wanted to say most was: thank you - teacher zhang zhejiang!
i am here, you never leave
cai fumei
my father was my elementary school teacher. in my childhood memories, my father was serious, wise and strict. at that time, i had more admiration than respect for him.
in the 1970s and 1980s, rural children were particularly wild. they climbed trees to rob bird nests, went into the water to catch fish and shrimp, and caught crickets in the grass. no matter where they were, they could find their own fun and never got tired of it. children's playfulness was hard to stop, and being late for school was a common occurrence in the class.
one day at noon, i and a few classmates secretly ran to a stream behind the school to pick up snails. we were so excited that we forgot about school. when we woke up and hurried back to school, we found that the class had already started. when we stood at the door of the classroom nervously, we were greeted by our father's serious face and sharp eyes. as expected, we were scolded by our father.
afterwards, my father told us about his early life experience - he lost his mother at the age of 3, and was forced to drop out of school after losing his father at the age of 15. later, my father returned to school with the help of teachers and relatives. my father worked harder and was admitted to a normal school as he wished, becoming a teacher.
when talking about the emotional part, my father's eyes were red. he said: "at that time, i often warned myself that only by working hard can i repay the country's cultivation and society's care. the ancients understood the principle of 'i examine myself three times a day', how can we indulge ourselves, waste time and neglect learning?"
my father's words were as powerful as a whip that hit me and etched into the hearts of every one of us. under my father's careful guidance, the students gradually restrained their wanton and uninhibited behavior, became more mature and steady in their words and deeds, and the phenomenon of being late at will gradually disappeared.
the father loves his students as if they were his own children and always does his best to care for and help students from poor families.
once, one of my father's students came to him crying and told him that his parents wanted him to drop out of school and go home because of family difficulties and lack of labor. after hearing this, my father immediately went to persuade his parents. after my father persuaded them for an entire afternoon, his parents reluctantly agreed. unexpectedly, the next day, the parents changed their minds.
seeing that the student didn't come to class, my father rushed over after school. i remember it was raining heavily at that time, and we only had one umbrella. my father asked me to wait for him at school, and then he disappeared in the rain with the umbrella, leaving me alone in the office. the school was empty at that time. i was cold, hungry and scared, and my heart was full of confusion and grievances. i waited until dark before my father came back. in this way, with my father's repeated insistence, the student's studies were able to continue. later, the student was successfully admitted to the normal school. on the eve of reporting, he came to thank his father. it was not until that day that we knew that my father had been silently supporting this student and some poor students.
my father not only taught us to study hard, but also taught us to love labor and consciously cultivate the ability to live independently. there was an open space behind the school. my father took us to work in the fields. under his guidance, we carefully weeded, fertilized, and then carefully put seeds into the soil. then, we watched the crops grow day by day with joy and expectation.
the most exciting and unforgettable thing is that when the harvest season comes, the students gather together to enjoy the fruits of their labor, whether it is the sticky and sweet corn, the fragrant and soft roasted sweet potatoes, or the crispy and delicious peanuts... unknowingly, our feelings for the land have taken root in our hearts.
years have passed, and time has flowed. my father's students back then have now turned gray. over the years, i have always taken my father as an example, striving to become a good teacher respected by students, recognized by parents and leaders. now, my father has been gone for more than 6 years, but his teachings and love for me, his dedication and perseverance in education, have always been there and have never left!
the teacher who slapped my palm is gone
zhang yanhua
time flies, and it has been more than 20 years since i stepped onto the podium. but i often think back to my primary school days, and my beloved teacher mulan. although she has left us now, her voice, smile, her careful care for me, and her guidance in my life seem to be just yesterday. it is because of my admiration and respect for her that i embarked on the position of a teacher, and i take her as an example in my work.
when i was in the fourth grade, teacher mu took over our class. i had heard that she was very good: she had good teaching results, was strict with students, and sometimes slapped their hands. i was a little scared, but when i saw her, i felt relieved. she was in her 30s, had short hair, was not tall, had a chubby face, small eyes, and was always smiling. she often played games with us and told us stories during class.
when i was in the second and third grade, i developed a bad habit of procrastinating when doing homework. i either didn't do it or did very little. my previous teachers often criticized me for this, but it was over. after seeing teacher mu, i thought it would be fine. but it turned out that i was wrong.
in the first few days, i insisted on completing my homework seriously. later, my old habit came back. i didn't finish my homework at night. the next day, i went to school under the urging of my parents. it was time to check my homework. i took out my notebook, and the teacher looked at it and asked me why i didn't do the homework at the back. i said i didn't know how to do it. the teacher looked at me, then looked at the exercises i did yesterday, and his voice suddenly became louder: "do you really not know how to do it, or is there another reason?" then, the teacher hit my palm hard!
i insisted that i just couldn't do it, but my voice became lower and lower. because i did the similar exercises yesterday correctly. the teacher asked, "why didn't you finish your homework?" this time i didn't dare to say anything nonsense, and told the teacher the truth that i played after school and fell asleep before finishing my homework at night.
the teacher softened his tone. he wet a towel with cold water and applied it to my palm. he asked me if it still hurt. then he said to me, "it doesn't matter if you can't learn the knowledge. the teacher can tell you several times. but you must be an honest person. this is the most basic quality of a person. it will affect your life."
the teacher's few words have influenced my life. until now, i have always been realistic in everything i do and never shirk my mistakes. the teacher treats other students the same way. usually, he is as careful and caring as a mother, but if you make a principled mistake and don't admit it, he will punish you severely. when i was a child, i often hated the teacher for this, but now i feel that i am lucky to have met such a responsible teacher.
after studying with teacher mu for a year, my academic performance improved greatly. my parents were very happy and thought that i could continue to study with teacher mu. but one day, teacher mu suddenly fainted in class and was sent to the hospital.
several of us went to visit her and found out that she was in the advanced stage of gastric cancer. a few months ago, the doctor told her that she could not go to work, but in order not to delay us, she gritted her teeth and persisted until she fainted.
more than a month later, we heard the sad news that teacher mu had passed away. the whole class cried because we lost not only a good teacher, but also a good mother. although she was strict with us, she also took great care of each of us.
come with a heart and leave without a blade of grass. this is the best description of my teacher mu. now it is the season for flowers to bloom again. i pray silently that the flowers will bloom for you. we will always love you!
what the father is carrying is not a new book, but the children's desire for knowledge.
zhong lili
"when i grew up and became you, i realized that the chalk drew rainbows and shed tears..."
when i was teaching my students to sing this song, i was suddenly immersed in the events of more than 20 years ago. i couldn't help but miss my alma mater, my teachers and my father.
“once a teacher, always a father” is the most appropriate saying for me, because my teacher is my father. as far as i can remember, i spent my entire childhood in that small campus, or more precisely, in a small farmyard.
it was a private school called pingzhai primary school. it did not have an official seal until it was closed. the classrooms were a few private houses. my father and mother were substitute teachers here. my father taught mathematics and my mother taught chinese. before my father became a regular teacher, he only earned a dozen yuan a month. at that time, the country had not yet waived tuition fees. a child had to pay 40 to 50 yuan a semester. many families had many children and could not afford to pay tuition, so they owed tuition first. some parents did not allow their children to go to school, so my father waived most of the fees for them.
in order to allow more children to go to school, my father made wine and raised pigs, and used the money he earned to improve the school's conditions. on weekends, he invited villagers to dig rocks, harden the playground, and repair desks. day after day, year after year, he turned the tile houses into bungalows and the mud floors into cement floors. in this way, my father changed the appearance of the school bit by bit.
the school didn't start until 9 o'clock, which i thought was too late, so i suggested that my father start the class earlier. he said that if it was too early, many students wouldn't be able to get to school because they had to walk more than ten miles on the mountain road to go to school. even if the class started at 9 o'clock, the mountains were high and the roads were long, and many children were often late. the father looked at the late children and didn't criticize them, but comforted them more.
ding-dong, ding-dong, this is the bell for class. the so-called bell is actually a piece of steel plate or a discarded fire ring hung in front of the window with a rope. maybe it's because i was used to hearing that kind of crisp and hoarse, solemn and sacred sound since i was a child, so i always think that the bell at that time is better and more tasteful than any bell now.
noon is the happiest moment of my day. i can play shuttlecock, throw sandbags, and jump rope with my classmates... while my father is busy correcting homework and tutoring students. when the weather is good, he will cut the boys' hair.
the school classrooms are very narrow, only able to accommodate 20 children, and leaking when it rains. the main room can accommodate more children, as a duplex class. the duplex class is very interesting, with children from two grades studying together. the father first teaches the students from one grade, assigns homework, and then teaches the children from the other grade. during exams, the father will "warn" the older children not to teach the younger children how to do the questions.
i finished primary school there and left home to go to middle school in town. when filling out my application form before the high school entrance examination, i chose the normal college without hesitation, determined to become a teacher like my father. i passed the normal college and realized my dream of becoming a teacher. after graduation, i was assigned to teach in a village primary school.
a few years later, the private school was to be closed. with nostalgia and joy, my father took all the teachers and students from pingzhai primary school, where he had worked for many years, to a new school with better conditions and environment, where there was a real playground, basketball court, table tennis table, stage, spacious and bright classrooms, and teachers' dormitories. looking at the happy children and happy teachers, my father smiled with satisfaction.
now i am back to my alma mater. the small blackboard and the worn-out desks and chairs are still there. i feel like i have returned to those days. seeing the children in ragged clothes reading in the classroom and chasing and playing happily on the campus, i feel a mixture of sadness and relief. i remember that before the start of school, my father took my brother and me to gantang primary school to carry new books. no matter how tired we were on the way, we were happy. we were happy because we could see our classmates who we had not seen for a long time; my father was happy because he was carrying not only new books on his shoulders, but also the children's desire for knowledge, the hope of pingzhai primary school, and the future of the children in the mountainous area...
pingzhai primary school no longer exists, and it seems as if it has never existed. no, it is still there, in the memories of pingzhai children and in the dreams of their fathers every night; it has witnessed the changes of the times and the development of society, and carries the hopes and dreams of our generation.
now, my father has retired. he has taught three generations of people, and it is time for him to take a break. i will follow in my father's footsteps and continue to walk the educational path he has always insisted on.
teacher yu yi's back
bao wen
"back figure" by modern and contemporary writer zhu ziqing uses simple words to express the great fatherly love.
and in my heart, the figure of a teacher can shake my soul even more...
in 1991, i was admitted to shanghai second normal school and became a secondary normal school student. because my family lived in pudong, i lived in a dormitory for a while. it was also during that time that i often saw the back of an elder.
we boarding students have to get up at 6 o'clock every day, wash and tidy up our rooms, go to the playground to exercise, and then go to the cafeteria to have breakfast. we have more opportunities to contact teachers than day students.
every day, after breakfast, we would take a leisurely walk in the campus with our schoolbags in order to make the most of the good morning light. i would always find a black figure among the green trees, hunched over, picking up the garbage from the flowers and grass into the garbage bag.
once, the figure was very close to us. i looked carefully and was a little dumbfounded: isn't this our principal? i was really confused at the time that the principal of a school was picking up trash on campus. later, i suddenly realized that our school did not have cleaners, and all cleaning work was done by students and teachers.
there are 4 grades in the school, and each grade has about 8 classes, which means that each class will have a labor day every month. on the labor day, we don't have to go to class for the day. from early morning to the end of school, every student will work at his or her post. on this day, we are the school's cleaners. the teachers will regulate their words and deeds more and set an example for the students. although she is the principal, teacher yu yi often participates in our labor. teacher yu yi, who is over 50 years old, is no less laboring than us students.
teacher yu yi does not live on campus. she always arrives early every day with a garbage bag in hand, and picks up garbage while patrolling the campus. soon, under the principal's example, everyone can no longer bear to litter, and will take the initiative to pick up garbage when they see it on campus.
i remember when i was in the second year of the normal college, there was no teacher in the classroom during a morning self-study class. it was very chaotic and everyone was doing their own things without restraint. suddenly, a person walked in from outside the classroom, with slow steps. when i saw the person's face clearly, the classroom immediately fell silent.
isn't this the principal? we realized that the class was too noisy. this is terrible, we were caught. looking at the classroom again, the floor was in a mess, the desks were messy, it didn't look like a girls' classroom at all.
we were waiting for a scolding. but teacher yu yi didn't say a word. she walked to the door of the classroom, picked up the broom and dustpan, bent down, and silently cleaned the floor in front of the podium, and then put the broom back. she left the classroom as if nothing had happened, leaving us with a tall back. there was no word of accusation, but "silence is better than words at this time."
we 42 students felt extremely ashamed. teacher yu yi's way was more powerful than scolding. it was like a dagger piercing our souls. as a future teacher, if you can't even have the most basic self-discipline and turn a blind eye to the mess in the classroom, how can you educate students and manage the class in the future?
the back of teacher yu yi leaving the classroom has always remained deeply in my heart. afterwards, teacher yu yi did not go to the head teacher to complain, but each of us students has received a spiritual baptism.
many years later, as a teacher and a mother, i often tell my students the story of this "back figure". i am grateful to the old principal, ms. yu yi, for her training of us, and to that back figure that will always be in my heart...
like her, be an ordinary gentleman
teng wei
i don’t have any earth-shattering and touching stories, i only have a real life.
i was born in a poor peasant family. my parents are still working in the countryside. you can't imagine how a stupid kid who could only talk at the age of 3 and walk at the age of 4 could step onto the podium. these are stories about time and my education story.
this year i just turned 30, and this year is also my fifth year in formal work.
looking back on my educational life over the past five years, i have experienced pain and confusion after suffering setbacks in my beautiful educational dream, disappointment and confusion because of my limited personal abilities and inability to find a way to improve myself, and i have also questioned myself about what education is and what an educator is.
i don't know how to define a "great teacher", but i know that an ordinary rural teacher can also light up a child's dream of life. fortunately, i met my mentor on my way to school - even though she was just an ordinary rural teacher.
perhaps because of my slow brain development in my early years, i finished elementary school in 8 years. at that time, i was almost a "defective product" that all teachers decided to give up. but after being taught by this educator, i gradually got better...
i will never forget the scene in that shabby mud-brick classroom when she read one of my essays as a model in front of the whole class and praised it repeatedly. she ignited my love for words and literature, and she opened the door to reading for me.
i will never forget the evening when i graduated from elementary school, she gave me a thick notebook as a graduation gift. on the cover of the notebook, she wrote in her beautiful handwriting: i don't care about your past, i only care about your future; i believe that as long as you work hard, you will have a sky of your own.
i am a stupid person. i took the college entrance examination twice before i was admitted to a third-tier university. i failed the interview twice in the postgraduate examination. after graduating from university, i worked in a factory and even worked on a construction site in a distant city for a while. however, i always remember the words she gave me: as long as you work hard, you will definitely have a sky of your own.
time flies and 16 years have passed. i am very glad that after 16 years, i have become her. because of her, i stepped onto the podium. i know that i want to be an ordinary teacher like her and influence more children with my sincerity and love.
i also know that a teacher must shape many "i's". taking over the baton of teaching and educating people from the hands of a mentor requires responsibility, love, passion, and courage. at many times, i always ask myself: with my current strength, can i bear the weight of this baton?
i must choose to shoulder the heavy burden of inheriting the teaching tradition, because one end of the burden is tied to the future of the motherland, and the other end is tied to the conscience of the teacher. this is destined to be an ordinary and long path of practice.
the moment i stepped onto the podium, i said to myself: i will use my sincerity and conscience to take over the torch of teaching and educating from my mentor, and one day in the future i will proudly say: i have finally become her.
there are many ordinary educators like my mentor. they use love, respect and encouragement to awaken children like me. they do ordinary things and try their best to achieve more children. they are all the most beautiful "teachers" in my heart.
many years later, i finally realized the charm of those red comments.
deng zhi
after so many years, i still often think of the teacher he yan who always criticized me for writing essays with a poor finish. although he has been dead for nearly 20 years, his appearance has always been clearly imprinted in my mind and has never blurred.
in my memory, mr. he had naturally curly hair, often wore a dark blue suit with a neatly ironed white shirt, and was always smiling. he rarely lost his temper with us, as if we were all very good children.
at that time, maybe because of my good writing skills or my likable personality, i always felt that he had some preference for me, but being favored is often fearless. because his nose was a little big, i gave him a nickname - "dragon king". when he found out later, he didn't get angry, but smiled and said to me: "it's good."
i always recall that he often called me to his office because i wrote essays perfunctorily. he gently but firmly "forced" me to rewrite my essays and would not let me leave the office until i finished. when i finished, he would help me to correct it carefully and submit my essays to various competitions. the various essay award certificates i treasure in my drawer are all gifts from him. i also always remember that he once commented in my diary, saying that my diary was like the sorrows of young werther, and there would always be a long red comment from him at the end of each diary.
until today, when i also follow his example and carefully pick up the red pen to write down my thoughts, instructions, or encouragements for my students, i can truly appreciate the charm of those red annotations back then. they were a teacher's concern and care for his students, and a gardener's cultivation and promotion of seedlings.
unfortunately, i was willful and sensitive at that time, and i could not understand the teacher's intentions. when i saw those eye-catching red comments, i always felt uncomfortable as if my thoughts were seen through. so, he wrote one, and i tore one, and my girlish thoughts and self-esteem were torn into pieces.
a few years after his death, when i was sorting out books, i accidentally found a few diaries with red annotations. i read them over and over again, and over and over again, pulling myself back to those days, and tears suddenly flowed down my face. looking at these few remaining treasures, i suddenly realized what i had lost...
after entering university, i felt ashamed to contact him for a long time because i was not in the school i was assigned to and my major was not my favorite, english, even though i had memorized his phone number. until one day, i suddenly saw the news that he was sick in the class qq group. i dialed his number tremblingly, and when i heard the familiar "hello", i choked up and couldn't say a word. but he smiled and comforted me, saying that being a teacher is good. although you are poor, you have an infinite spiritual wealth. learning mathematics is not necessarily worse than learning english. there are too many people learning english now. if you want to stand out, the pressure is much greater.
at that moment, i didn't feel like i was talking to a seriously ill person. i thought the news of his illness must be fake. but it was true. he was sick, and very sick. the last time i saw him was in the hospital ward. at that time, he was lying in the ward, skinny and unrecognizable. he didn't even have the strength to open his eyes. we didn't have the heart to wake him up. his old father told us naggingly that although he was not energetic now, he remembered every student clearly.
from the time he fell ill to the time he passed away, i never heard him say a single word of frustration, even though fate was unfair to him: when he was young, his beloved wife died of childbirth complications; when he was in his prime, he himself was seriously ill. but he never complained, and always encouraged us with his warm smile and words of encouragement.
now, i am almost 40 years old, and i have been following his footsteps and standing on the podium for more than ten years. over the years, when i was depressed and confused, i would always think of his warmth. he was a light in my life journey, guiding me to keep my passion and progress.
source: china youth daily
source: china youth daily
