news

Friends were all surprised at Lao Di's decision to return to China. Everyone saw how hard he had worked to support his son's study abroad.—From studying English desperately and applying for skilled immigration, to accompanying his child for three years without returning home, to competing with more than 20 buyers for offers and spending tens of millions to buy a school district house.

Old Di felt distressed by the investment of real money and the time that was gone forever, but he was willing to give up everything for his son's future.

As a father, Lao Di is well-known among his friends for loving his son.

It has been a year since I returned to Beijing. My son has taken the high school entrance examination and barely reached the minimum admission score for Beijing Vocational High School.

This article will use Lao Di's three-year overseas parenting story to see what went wrong.——Why did the excellent son in Lao Di's eyes become so bad? Was it the wrong choice to go abroad or was his education too extreme?

Before coming to Canada, Lao Di's son studied in a famous primary school in Beijing. The parents of the students in this school are all high-ranking officials with strong backgrounds, while Lao Di's family is of commoner status. His son, who is active by nature and has average academic performance, was soon labeled a "poor student". This blow made Lao Di quickly decide to leave the Chinese education system and find a beautiful country that is suitable for his son.

When I first learned about Canadian education, I felt that“"Fair" and "Free——K12 education is free, and children receive “milk money” every month. In addition, there is little difference in teaching levels among public schools, and children will not be treated differently based on family background and academic performance.

Later, he felt that Canadian education would give his "ordinary" son more opportunities.Maybe he really has a chance to get into an Ivy League school.Because after arriving in Canada,My son's math scores jumped to the top of the class.

at this time,Old Di's heart began to swell, as if he saw the moment when his son would bring honor to the family.He was full of hope - in fact, his son was not an ordinary person, and the reason why he was ordinary was that he was suppressed by the Chinese education. So he made up his mind to find a successful path suitable for his son overseas.

Lao Di did not look for a job in Canada, fearing that work would affect his ability to take care of his son. He stayed at home and read autobiographies and success stories written by people who were admitted to prestigious universities. After learning, he began to transform his son and tried his best to "drive" him towards the path of elites.My son is like a "test subject".And Lao Di, with mysterious confidence, made a plan that was even busier than the students in Haidian.

In the first year in Canada, his son did very well. In addition to maintaining his advantage in mathematics, his average scores in other subjects were all above 90. At this time, in Lao Di's eyes, his son was a genius, so he began to increase the difficulty of his son's study.

During the summer vacation, he accompanied his son to learn mathematics in China in advance and bought mathematics textbooks and exercises from the People's Education Press online. During the summer vacation, Lao Di did not take his son out for a trip, but stayed at home to practice mathematics. He took online classes in the morning and did exercises in the afternoon. He hoped that his son could win a big prize in the mathematics competition next semester.

andAll the changes happened after Lao Di's "pull up the seedlings to help them grow" plan。Lao Di said that this was his son’s first “rebellion” and also an outburst that had been suppressed for a long time.

My son started to refuse to take online classes, refused to do difficult math problems, refused to study, and even learned to lie. He started to secretly stay up late to play games...

This series of rejections made Lao Di very angry. He confiscated his son’s mobile phone, banned him from playing games, and stopped him from watching TV... He cut off all the negative "things" that he thought would affect his son's studies.

His son's revenge soon came. He slept in class, bullied female classmates, and didn't complete his homework. Old Di began to receive complaints from teachers every now and then, including phone calls and e-mails.

Fighting violence with violence became Lao Di's only way to deal with his son, but it was only effective for a short time and soon returned to a vicious cycle.When his son made trouble, Lao Di hit him, and when his son continued to make trouble, Lao Di hit him even harder. His son's revenge became more and more severe, using his terrible test scores to poke Lao Di's heart and extinguish his hope.

Image source:Screenshot of the TV series "Happy Parents Group"

When his son was moving from primary school to middle school, the teacher suggested that Lao Di not let his son take the research route (and later pursue an undergraduate and master's degree), but instead take the vocational education route after four years of middle school, learn more skills, and prepare for employment.

This conversation made Lao Di feel extremely humiliated.It is so despairing that my son, who has the ability to get into college, has fallen to the point of having to go to a vocational high school.

Old Di, who originally advocated the happy education method, now regards it as the culprit for his son's poor academic performance.

In the past, Lao Di thought that happy education was equal to education with a pleasant face, and that teachers could teach children well without beating or scolding. Lao Di thought that this might be where Canadian education was more advanced than Chinese education, and this was also the beginning of his being misled by happy education.

Image source: Screenshot from the movie "Learning Dad"

On the first day of school, my son told Lao Di that he liked the school very much and the teachers were very nice. They were not like the teachers in Beijing who often "rectified the style of work" and spent half of the class correcting classroom discipline.

In Canadian classrooms, students can speak freely and do not have to sit straight. My son liked the learning atmosphere in Canada and gradually became lazy. There was no homework after class, and my son did not want to do the homework assigned by Lao Di.

Studying is hard work, not fun. The son soon used the happy education as an excuse for not studying. Whenever Lao Di started to push his child hard, his son would tell him that over-studying would ruin his body.

Old Di said that he watched his son being worn down day by day by the Canadian education and becoming a real lazy man.He talked to his son more than once, and asked the following questions countless times. The answers given by his son also left him in an unsolvable situation.

His son's thoughts began to develop in the direction that Lao Di hated the most, and Lao Di wanted to immediately change his lazy thoughts back.

Image source: Screenshot from the TV series "Happy Parents Group"

But it was easy to slide down the slope, and his son slid down much faster than he thought. Especially in the context of a society that does not advocate diligent study, it provided a breeding ground for his laziness.

Lao Di kept reflecting,Why did the happy education make him so unhappy? Why did he even make his son lie down?

He thought up the answer at home. He thought it was the teacher's responsibility. Canada is the same as China, with good teachers and bad teachers. If his son meets a good teacher, he will succeed. Lao Di began to ask parents which teacher is better and more dedicated. After choosing, he immediately asked the principal to change his son's class. After a few rounds, his son changed three classes in one semester, but the result was still the same.

After the crazy behavior of changing classes failed, Lao Di started to transfer his son to another school. He set his sights on the No. 1 middle school in the province and immediately sold his house in Beijing and bought a house in the school district of Canada.

After moving to a large detached house, the son had a separate study room, and the door of the study room was locked from then on. If Lao Di wanted to go in to see what his son was doing, he had to have a "hand-to-hand fight" with him.

Until now, Lao Di has been looking for the reasons in the big environment.It is because of the overall lack of progress in Canada's environment that my son was implicated.As he became frustrated, his hatred for happy education deepened.

Old Di was completely confused about his son's plan after he was laid down. His dream of attending an Ivy League school came to an abrupt end. But Old Di was unwilling to accept this! His face and his competitive spirit were still there. He couldn't lose to his sister who immigrated to the United States, and couldn't watch his nephew get into a prestigious school while his son could only go to a vocational high school.

In Canada, he visited many education experts, including professors of education and teachers who had trained top scorers. He was always looking for someone who could help his son out of his predicament, and he would find that person even if it cost him one million.

Image source: Screenshot from the movie "Catching Dolls"

Lao Di’s friend recommended him a retired Chinese professor from McGill University, whose daughter was the top student in her school district and was admitted to the Northwestern University School of Business with a scholarship of $40,000 a year.

Lao Di followed Liu Bei's example and failed to invite the professor after visiting him three times at his thatched cottage, the professor replied to him,I suggest that he should adjust his study goals and not study just for the purpose of getting into a prestigious school, but should focus on studying based on his interests.

The professor also told him tactfully,We should set the right direction, instead of rushing to famous schools for quick success.But Lao Di did not realize this problem.Neither violence nor persuasion could convince his son, so he could only hand his son over to the experts of the training institution and completely ignore him. When his son's grades improved, he would continue to buy the products of the training center and renew the subscription.

This method seemed to be effective. My son started to complete his homework on time, his test scores improved, and the number of e-mails and phone calls from the teacher decreased.

Image source: Screenshot from the TV series "Genius Basic Law"

The temporary stabilization of the "condition" does not mean a cure.Lao Di's trust in the educational remedies completely collapsed when he received the bank card bill.

The bill showed that he had paid 1,000 Canadian dollars to someone's account, but he had no recollection of having spent the money. How could such an inexplicable payment appear?

Lao Di immediately contacted the bank, and the bank found that the money was paid from Lao Di's home network address. Lao Di suspected that his son, who knew the password, had secretly spent the money, so he pried open his son's study door, cracked the computer password, and obtained his son's WeChat chat history.

He found out that the money was paid by his son to a college student to do homework for him. His son said that this was an idea given to him by his teacher.In the normal learning process, teachers will mention ghostwriting homework intentionally or unintentionally.Not every exam in Canadian middle schools is closed-book. Homework accounts for a high proportion of the grades, and ghostwriting is a way to get high scores.

The son's brief obedience was all due to the ghostwriting. Old Di was so angry that his lips trembled and he smashed his son's phone. But the son did not feel ashamed at all, instead he thought that ghostwriting was just a manifestation of ability, which showed that he had the ability to pay for it.

Image source: Screenshot from the movie "Learning Dad"

Why waste time when you can buy it? Time is much more valuable than money. Not only can you pay for ghostwriting, but the teacher also said that the university diplomas of many wealthy children can also be "bought" by donating money to universities.

Old Di responded to his son's nonsense by beating him up. After this ghostwriting incident, he began to consider taking drastic measures to pull his son back from his evil path. Even if it meant using the terrifying "electric shock" therapy used to treat teenagers addicted to the Internet.

This is difficult to achieve in Canada, where child protection is a top priority.Lao Di believes that only by returning to China can everything be solved.Before deciding to return to China, Lao Di was already in a "crazy" state, and he had hardly thought carefully about the significance of returning to China.

Judging from the feedback from Lao Di's son, he was happy after returning to China. The teachers at school seemed to have changed their attitudes and took great care of him. They would introduce him to others as someone who had returned from Canada. Because he was very good at English, he even became the English class representative in the class.

My son was a cadre for the first time in his life, and he felt a great sense of accomplishment. He also made many friends, and he often shared his life in Canada with everyone. Although there was a lot of homework and studying was a bit difficult, as long as he was not tormented by Lao Di, it was okay to work hard. In addition, he had relatives in Beijing, and many people cared about him, which increased his sense of happiness. Compared with the loneliness, emptiness and coldness in Canada, it was much better.

Image source: Screenshot from the movie "Hi! Divine Beast"

Old Di has been busy all this time, quietly preparing a big move behind the scenes to discipline his useless son. But he has never succeeded, because he can't "catch" his son at all. His son's schedule is already fully scheduled by school, and he can't get in at all.

Friends often ask Lao Di if he has used "electric shock" therapy. Lao Di feels helpless. His son has not been "shocked" by him yet.On the first day of school after his son returned to Beijing, he was "criticized" by his son's class teacher.

As soon as the head teacher opened his mouth, he directly pointed out the reason why Lao Di brought his son back, without giving him any face at all.It is said that Lao Di thinks he knows a lot about education and blindly believes that education abroad is the best, which is a wrong idea and wastes the children's precious study time.Now his son's academic performance is very poor, and it is almost impossible for him to get into high school. The teachers can only try their best to save him and let him be mentally prepared and accept his current situation.

If Lao Di wants his son not to give up studying, he must follow the school's management and actively cooperate to ensure his son's daily life, diet, and physical and mental well-being. Otherwise, he can only seek help from others, as the school will not "provide" for them.

After being "lectured" by the head teacher, Lao Di felt inexplicably happy. He went abroad just to avoid the teacher's criticism and didn't want his son to be treated differently.But now it sounds like every word the teacher says is valuable advice and is the "medicine" to cure his son.

Image source: Screenshot from the movie "Second-hand Masterpiece"

Lao Di said that he really felt like a lowly person and was not suitable for the gentle teachers from abroad. Instead, he was taught a lesson by the powerful teachers at home, which made him feel very comfortable.

After being hit hard by the class teacher, Lao Di began to change gradually. He also established contacts with parents who returned to China according to the advice of his son's class teacher and often participated in education sharing sessions.

The empathetic environment helped him to resolve the shame of returning home.It also made him begin to reflect on his own narrow-mindedness and ignorance in educating his children.

Image source:Screenshot from the movie Like Father, Like Son

This time when he returned to China, Lao Di originally intended to let his son suffer in China's involutionary education environment.He never expected that it was his old father who received a lesson.

There are no parents who are not wrong. This sentence should be changed to "There are no parents who do not make mistakes, there are only parents who do not know how to correct their mistakes" by Lao Di.

Lao Di is also increasingly aware that people should have a more correct view of returning home and going abroad. Why do so many people want to go abroad? It does not mean that domestic education is useless, and foreign education is of high quality. Don't overestimate studying abroad, it is just a choice of whether it is suitable or not.

Follow Bund Education

Discover quality education