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every decision in life will bring different experiences, especially when it comes to children’s education.

therefore, we always hear stories of all sizes about further studies and school selection around us - in order to enter a prestigious school, parents and children have to go through 81 difficulties just like the journey to the west to obtain buddhist scriptures.

su su, a shanghai mother born in the 1980s, is more like a person who goes against the trend of school selection. she not onlyhe transferred from a first-tier international school to a public township school, and his family moved from shanghai to a small third-tier city.

what puzzles almost everyone is that all the above decisions on the daughter's education plan are derived from su su's unique "pushing baby" concept - "table tennis education”。

su su: bachelor and master of art and design from france;

visiting professor of nanchang university of technology

pictured: susu and her family

before hearing su su's story, i was also quite skeptical - was it too bold to make such a decision when the child was just in primary school? would the daughter who grew up in a bustling city accept her mother's decision? what attracted su su, who had studied in france, to the competitive table tennis track in china?

but when this "willful" "pushing baby" story slowly unfolds, the bund feels that although su su and her daughter's "journey to the west" is more niche and more rugged, when you think about it carefully,it is also a story of a mother doing her best to carefully plan a growth path for her daughter; it is challenging, but it also contains more imagination and thinking about education.

*the following story is narrated from susu’s first-person perspective.

"meaninglessness" seems to have become my problem in raising children

i have two daughters, an older sister and a younger sister, who are ten years apart in age.

li zhenxi once said that education is the "art of regret." in the more than ten years since i became a mother, i have also deeply felt this regret.

this feeling may be even stronger when my eldest daughter is growing up. at that time, i was so busy with my career that the words "education planning" were completely absent from my mind.

although my sister could go to a better school, i still chose to let her attend a public school near home just because it was convenient for pick-up and drop-off. later, because of a job transfer, i didn't think twice and handled the transfer procedures for my sister, allowing her to leave shanghai with me and attend an ordinary private school in another place.

after graduating from elementary school, my sister said she wanted to go abroad to see the world. respecting her wishes, i helped her contact the school and host family, and sent her directly to the united states to study in junior high school. one year after returning to china during the epidemic, my sister successfully got an offer from a british high school.

my sister (first from right) attended the yinggao dinner

i can say that i didn’t participate much in my sister’s growth, nor did i put too much academic pressure on her. in my spare time, i prefer to take my sister to museums and art exhibitions, and often go to the playground to play.

growing up in such a relaxed atmosphere, her aesthetic taste was slowly cultivated by me. my sister is very confident inside. she was able to transition very smoothly through multiple transfers in china, as well as in junior high school in the united states and high school in the united kingdom. she was also very relaxed.

a sister who loves sports

everything seems good, but i always have a faint regret in my heart. although my sister has a wide range of interests now, they are as shallow as a dragonfly skimming the water. after a while, the faint ripples disappear without a trace.

especially when i see some children of the same age around me who can find passion and concentration in their own specialties, i somewhat regret that i did not plant a big tree of interest in her growth and deeply cultivate a specialty or hobby in her.

after all, children's growth requires breadth and depth. especially in this era of information complexity,i hope that my children can find some hobbies or a sense of purpose in their lives.in this way, even if they may lose their way in the future, with the lighthouse in their hearts, they can successfully discover their true self and rekindle the motivation to move forward.

so when it came to my sister, i naturally tried my best to fill in this piece of the puzzle.

based on my sister's experience, i also started to do a lot of homework. for example, i would pay more attention to the choice of kindergarten, unlike my sister who chose the school casually.heckman curveafter that, i sent my sister directly to an international kindergarten.

my sister is very happy here. the teachers are very kind and the children are always encouraged to try various things. in kindergarten, my sister has a good foundation in bilingualism, has become a social expert, and has also learned swimming, roller skating and table tennis.

my sister is studying in an international kindergarten

of course, for me,the most important thing is to help my sister find a specialty that she is interested in and help her stay on this path.。

i also observed that our sister is a relatively active child. perhaps, compared with music, chess, calligraphy and painting, focusing on a sport is more suitable for her personality.

at the same time, there is also the "ambition" of a mother who pushes her child a little too hard - she hopes that her child can exercise well while growing up.some high-intensity aerobic training can also help children develop a more active and healthier brain, helping them think more keenly.

my sister who swims in an international school

the reason why we chose table tennis was simple. on the one hand, table tennis is the national sport and my family has a deep affection for it. my father is a sports lover and his idol isdeng yapingbefore he passed away, my father left me a table tennis board, hoping that i would fall in love with sports and play them until old age; on the other hand, my sister also came into contact with table tennis in kindergarten, and she also likes this sport very much.

due to the coincidence of many factors, "table tennis" became the common choice of our family. we also hope that my sister can realize the multi-faceted meaning of life through the sport of "table tennis".

even if it's not bitter, you should try to "eat it hard"

after i decided to learn table tennis, i replaced all the coffee tables in my home with table tennis tables and started looking for table tennis learning resources all over shanghai.

at first, we found an olympic championxu xini go to the table tennis club every saturday. it takes an hour to play one-on-two and half an hour to play physical training. the fee is about 450 yuan each time.

physical training at the table tennis club

after i went there, i found out thattable tennis is a skill that children learn at a young age. many children in the middle class have already started learning table tennis.children who have the conditions have table tennis training almost every day. for example, if our sister started to learn table tennis formally in the senior class, it would be a bit late.

in this case, a new question arises: how much interest should we have in table tennis? should we cultivate an interest that is optional, or should we really take table tennis seriously?

obviously the latter is more in line with my original expectations for my daughter. i have also set a bottom line for myself in my heart, that is, the child is not annoying.once my child says she really doesn’t like table tennis, i will simply give up this sport.

after making up our minds, we began to take table tennis seriously and increased the frequency of table tennis training. but soon, we also found some unsatisfactory aspects.

for a case like ours, where our progress is already a little behind, it is obviously not enough to quickly improve our children's competitive level by just relying on the amount of instruction in a single subject at the table tennis club.

my sister started playing table tennis in shanghai

in addition, i also found out that the well-known cao yanhua table tennis school in shanghai also has a certain degree of selection in admissions, and my sister's level at the time was still quite far from this standard.

after hitting a wall everywhere, i was confused for a while. for ordinary table tennis players like us, how can we continue the path of table tennis education?

but at the same time, i also secretly encouraged myself.since there are no such conditions around me, i will create them myself.

after searching for information, i found that a well-known table tennis base in jiangsu was recruiting students. after seeing the school introduction, i was really attracted.

there are more than 30 ping-pong tables here!

such a large training ground is hard to find in shanghai

the coach will develop a corresponding training plan based on each child’s competitive level, and the children can also compete based on their actual competitive level rather than age.

more importantly,if you study in a comprehensive sports school, the school will have a special school bus to pick up your child and take him to the gym every afternoon, so that your child's table tennis training can be fully guaranteed.。

but do i really want to drop out of an international school and come to this third-tier city?

my sister is studying in an international kindergarten

before making this decision, i specifically discussed with my sister, who had seamlessly transitioned from the system to meichu and yinggao, her observations of the years she spent abroad. i asked,is it necessary for my sister to continue studying in an international school?

my elder sister, who is already studying at yinggao high school, thought about it and told me,from her experience, as long as you are good at english, you can adapt to the study environment abroad, whether inside or outside the system.

although my sister has been studying in a public primary school, i have never relaxed her english learning. she has been attending various english interest classes since she was young. since the third grade, i have sent her to international summer camps every summer vacation. these experiences have helped her quickly integrate into studying abroad. my sister is lively and cheerful, and she gets along very well with her host family.

my sister who attended an overseas summer camp

in addition,the solid subject knowledge within the system also made her feel at ease when studying in the ukmy sister told me that she met many students who transferred from international schools in china.the children always cried because they missed home. similarly, she also met some students who were not so good at speaking english. they had difficulty speaking english, and everyone ended up walking away.

soenglish and social skills are still important, and where you study may not be as important as you think.in overseas countries where sports are valued, perhaps a child’s sports expertise can help her expand her social circle and make studying abroad smoother.

my sister is studying in the united states

with my sister's support, i feel more confident.now that internet resources are so developed and abundant english resources are readily available, some educational resources in third-tier cities may not be as scarce as i originally imagined.

considering that my sister is only in the first grade and her academic workload is not stressful for the time being, and we have more time for trial and error, why not give it a try?

no matter what the future holds, now that we have decided to "ping pong", let's take each step forward firmly.

going into the competition with the mentality that you will lose

on september 1st, the new students started school, and my sister also walked out of the beautiful campus of the international school and came to this township primary school.

it is impossible to say that there is no gap. this township school is next to a vegetable field. as someone who grew up in the urban area of ​​shanghai, i was silently crying out in my heart when i saw it, why is it like this?

but even in this third-tier city sports school, we felt the sincerity of the school. on the first day of school, the school organized a special opening ceremony. after crossing the enlightenment ladder, cinnabar enlightenment, and writing about people, my sister also received her first red envelope for the new semester. this made my sister, who was originally a little scared and uneasy, walk into the classroom happily.

first-grade freshman sister

later i asked her if she really felt there was a big gap between going from an international school to a township school.

my sister told me that it was indeed a little uncomfortable, butthis gap is not due to the difference in educational facilities, but more because there are no classmates and friends she knows in this environment.

i was not too worried about my sister's slight disappointment. my sister, who is naturally a "social bull", seems to have a natural skill, which may be a trait given to her by the international kindergarten, that is, she can always find children of the same age in the crowd at a glance -they took two steps forward, shook hands and said, "let's be friends." then the two strangers became good friends.

as expected, after entering school, i heard her repeating the names of several new friends. i knew that my sister had begun to adapt to the new mode of studying in the morning and training in the afternoon in the township primary school. the increasingly fulfilling daily life also significantly improved my sister's ball skills.

sister participating in table tennis competition

in fact, since i made this decision, many people don’t understand it. some people wonder if we are catering to an era of declining consumption?

parents who are not in the table tennis circle may not be aware that the tuition for professional table tennis is not cheap.the higher the level of the table tennis coach, the more expensive the extra practice hours and small lesson fees will be.

there are families around me who pay more than 400,000 yuan in table tennis tuition for their children every month. these expenses have actually long exceeded the tuition fees of international schools.

after learning that my sister had transferred to another school, some people asked, "the table tennis field is so competitive, are you going to let your child join the provincial team? if you go to play table tennis, are you going to play in the olympics?"

it's a bit difficult to answer these questions, as if you can't win a medal, you're a failure if you go the table tennis route. but i think this view itself is somewhat biased.

although we have indeed gone deeper in the field of table tennis, during this training process, iwhat she values ​​more is the sport itself and the tenacity and confidence it can bring her.

in the practice of swinging the racket again and again, she learned persistence and perseverance. this kind of gritted teeth struggle is not only reflected on the court, but will also penetrate into every corner of her life in the future. i hope that by then, she will no longer give up easily when facing difficulties.

don't give up every shot on the court

of course, table tennis is a competitive sport after all. not long ago, when my sister participated in her first large-scale table tennis match in her life, i saw a heart-wrenching scene.

looking at the crying child, i really empathized with him at that moment, and wondered what parents should do to be the right thing to do. do parents really know how to be a good parent?

when it was my sister's turn to compete, i told herwe play table tennis with the expectation that we will lose, and every time we win, we consider it as a profit.with such encouragement, she enjoyed the competition very much, just like playing, and played the whole game with a smile.

handshake with opponent after the game

after the match, she told me she wanted to play again and that she enjoyed the process. i was also somewhat relieved.maintain a good attitude, slowly develop stress resistance, and become the best version of yourself. this experience has given her something far more precious than a medal.

as her supporter, i am willing to enjoy this process with her and witness her every progress and growth.

education is not about giving people vision, but about changing their vision.helping my child open the door to the world of table tennis is the best gift i can give her for her growth. i hope that in the future, this wonderful journey of growth, exploration and self-cognition will allow her heart to bloom more abundant and tenacious flowers.

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