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on september 1, 2024, tang shangjun, who had taken the college entrance examination 16 times, was admitted to south china normal university. at the age of 36, he finally decided to become a freshman.

36 years old.

freshman.

it took tang shangjun sixteen years to bring these two seemingly unrelated words together.

tang shangjun enrolled

during his 16-year college entrance examination career, tang shangjun has successively reached the admission qualification lines of second-tier universities, first-tier universities and even 985 and 211 universities, including famous universities such as shanghai jiaotong university, china university of political science and law, and xiamen university. however, he refused to report for admission due to various unbelievable reasons such as "not willing to be adjusted", "unsatisfactory major" and "don't want to go".

tang shangjun's college entrance examination scores over the years

tang shangjun's eccentricity has attracted great attention in china, a country that attaches great importance to college entrance examination education. every year during the college entrance examination season, he is the most dazzling "star candidate".

people witnessed with their own eyes that he fell into the vicious cycle of college entrance examination, repeating the exam, college entrance examination, and repeating the exam again and again.

everyone wants to know:

why did tang shangjun repeat his grade 16 times?

why did he choose to give up repeating his senior year and break out of this vicious circle?

the story of tang shangjun's "college entrance examination" begins in the midsummer of 2009.

this year, he took the college entrance examination for the first time in his life, with a total score of 372 points. according to the college entrance examination score line announced by guangxi at that time, his score was not enough to enter a third-tier university.

tang shangjun found it hard to accept this result. he felt that he did not deserve this.

tang shangjun was born in a remote mountain village in shangsi county, fangchenggang city, guangxi. he is the fifth child in the family, with three older sisters and one older brother.

when he was born, his mother was 40 years old, an advanced maternal age, and she suffered a lot to give birth to him. his father lost his job because of the excessive birth problem, and the family relied on growing sugarcane, eucalyptus and scraping pine resin to barely make ends meet.

although his family was poor, tang shangjun's father was highly respected by the villagers.

my father was a rare educated man in that era. he had read a lot of books and knew a lot of words. when the villagers encountered troubles, they would first ask my father for advice. after seeing the same thing many times, tang shangjun also understood:

as long as you are educated, you will be looked up to by others.

when he was a little older, tang shangjun followed his parents to the mountains to do farm work. he was good at planting corn and peanuts, weeding and killing insects. his older brothers and sisters went to work in the city, leaving only the youngest to run around at home. his parents always praised him for being the most sensible among the children.

in the past, when the sugarcane was ripe, tang shangjun would follow his parents to the mountains to work hard, tying up the cut sugarcane with ropes, carrying, disassembling, loading it onto trucks... and repeating this process.

tang shangjun and his father moving sugarcane

a bundle of sugarcane weighs dozens of kilograms. every time tang shangjun carries it on his back, he becomes more determined to study hard. he longs to get out of the mountains and the sugarcane fields.

with this encouragement, tang shangjun became the hardest-working student in the family.

in 2002, tang shangjun, who had just graduated from elementary school, was admitted to shangsi no. 2 middle school, the best school in the county, with the first place in the township. the boy set out on the journey to study alone with his luggage.

the bus kept driving towards the school 76 kilometers away from home. the wheels turned quickly, the dust on the ground flew up, the road behind became increasingly blurred, and the road ahead was endless.

perhaps even he himself had not thought at that time that once he left, he would never look back.

at shangsi no. 2 middle school, tang shangjun quickly discovered the gap between himself and others.

although his grades were among the best in the village, the education level in the small village was not comparable to that in the county town. there was a lot to learn, and in the first year he could barely keep up with the overall progress of the class, but as the difficulty of the courses continued to increase, he seemed to be struggling more and more.

in his second year of junior high school, tang shangjun's grades dropped significantly, and until his third year, his grades were still among the bottom few in the class.

one month before the high school entrance exam, tang shangjun developed a "strange disease". the specific symptoms were: he could not see things clearly, his head was dizzy, and he was always in a state of half-sleep and half-wakefulness. after a few days of rest, the situation still did not improve, so he went to the hospital with his family. after the examination, the doctor could not explain it, but said it might be neurasthenia.

in order to cure the "strange disease", tang shangjun and his family tried various methods, but all failed. after all the trouble, the disease was not cured and his high school entrance examination was delayed.

talking about this experience later, tang shangjun said that perhaps the test of fate began from this time.

tang shangjun recited english words in the corridor during the repetition

the next year, tang shangjun returned to shangsi no. 2 middle school to prepare for the high school entrance examination. perhaps because he had some experience, he was very relaxed and his grades improved by leaps and bounds.

in that year's senior high school entrance examination, he ranked first in the class and was admitted to qinzhou no. 2 high school, one of the best high schools near shangsi county. it was even said among the people that "getting admitted to qinzhou no. 2 high school is equivalent to having one foot into tsinghua university or peking university."

tang shangjun's performance surprised his family. before him, his three older sisters and brother all went to work in the city after finishing junior high school. "there was no learning atmosphere at home." no one expected that the younger brother would be so competitive.

the constant praise from his family and the outside world made tang shangjun lose himself to some extent. qinzhou no. 2 middle school is well-known, and being in it, he also feels that he is only one step away from "tsinghua and peking university".

without pressure, there is no motivation. throughout the three years of high school, tang shangjun seemed particularly careless, "always thinking about playing all day." playing ball, skating, singing, climbing over the wall to go shopping... he experienced everything that could be played on campus, learned a lot of skills, but his grades plummeted.

qinzhou no. 2 middle school is full of talented people. judging from tang shangjun’s admission scores, he was not an “excellent student”. in addition, he became more lax in his later years, and his ranking in the grade quickly dropped to the last.

in 2009, tang shangjun took the college entrance examination for the first time and did very poorly as expected. on the day the results were announced, he did not even fill out his college entrance examination application form and directly applied to the school to repeat the exam.

"after finishing this year, i will stop studying next year after i get admitted (to university)."

in tang shangjun's view at that time, "repeating a grade" represented "progress", and he thought that studying for another year would definitely improve his final results.

he understood the concept of "repeating a grade" very simply and purely, but beyond the definition, he seemed to have overlooked that the college entrance examination is a combination of "accident" and "strength", and not everyone can wait for the expected outcome.

tang shangjun during his re-reading

tang shangjun didn't dare tell others that his ultimate goal was actually to be admitted to tsinghua university, which was his wish since childhood.

before he went to school, he heard from adults that there was a man in the village who was admitted to tsinghua university, became an official after graduation, and after returning from his studies, he donated money to build roads in his hometown.

later, this "capable man" became the object of admiration of the whole village, and "tsinghua university" became the combination of all the good things in the eyes of the villagers. for them, being admitted to this university means having knowledge, status, wealth, and all the things that one cannot get even if he works hard all his life in the countryside.

when tang shangjun was born, the "tsinghua legend" was most widely circulated in the village. the simple story of a college student returning home with wealth was gradually deified, and "getting admitted to tsinghua university when he grows up" became the greatest expectation of all the children in the village.

tang shangjun was one of them. at that time, "tsinghua" was like a "real legend" in his heart. he only knew that it existed, but what exactly was it? how could one get in to study? what was inside? he had no idea.

for a long time, he thought that getting into tsinghua university was a particularly easy thing.

it was not until high school that tang shangjun heard from his classmates that tsinghua university was actually one of the best universities in china. it only admitted a few dozen or a hundred students in guangxi each year, and even in key high schools, one had to be ranked in the top three in academic performance to have a chance of admission.

his classmates' words woke him up from his dream. he began to realize the difficulty of the college entrance examination and the importance of hard work, but it was too late.

after failing the college entrance examination for the first time, tang shangjun returned to qinzhou no. 2 middle school with 3,000 yuan given by his sister. the teachers were surprised to see him. although they didn't say it explicitly, tang shangjun could feel that they were surprised because they were puzzled: what's the point of repeating a grade for someone who can't even pass the three-year college entrance examination?

but the more others thought so, the more tang shangjun felt that he should give it a try.

in the following year, tang shangjun tried to study hard, but his ability was insufficient as he had missed too many lessons. he tried hard to catch up for a whole semester but did not see much improvement.

in 2010, he took the college entrance examination for the second time and scored 405 points, which was not enough to pass the second-tier line. his family felt that there was no hope for him to continue studying, so they urged him to apply to a technical school to learn a skill so that he could support his family in the future.

tang shangjun said nothing, but he was very unhappy. go to a technical school to learn a skill, and then what? still have to work as a laborer in the city. he really didn't want to repeat his father's path. he believed that "getting into a good university is easier than changing one's fate by other means."

with the 5,000 yuan tuition fee that his family had scraped together, tang shangjun first went to nanning mechanical and electrical vocational technical school, but after only hanging around the school for half a day, he quickly went through the withdrawal procedures and then returned to qinzhou no. 2 middle school to repeat his senior year.

there are no complicated reasons. he just feels that if he can improve by a few tens of points each time, then the "next time" will always be better than the "last time". following this rule, he will soon be able to reach the threshold of a key university.

but is this really the case? looking back at tang shangjun’s previous college entrance examination results:

in 2011, the score was 475, 31 points lower than the minimum admission score of a first-tier university;

in 2012, with a score of 505, he was still just above the admission line for the second-tier universities.

in 2013, he scored 537 points, finally exceeding the "first-tier line", but due to mistakes in filling out the application form, he still failed to realize his "first-tier dream". at this time, he had been repeating his senior year in qinzhou no. 2 middle school for three years without telling his family.

after the 2013 college entrance examination results were announced, many teachers advised tang shangjun to stop.

based on their years of teaching experience, they told tang shangjun that your score is enough to support you to choose a "ace major" in an excellent second-tier university. compared with going to an ordinary first-tier university to study an ordinary major, this is also a good outcome.

but tang shangjun was unwilling to give up.

the rising college entrance examination scores over the years have given him hope. he believes that he is gradually approaching his "ideal goal", the "tsinghua dream" that he rarely mentions to others but has never forgotten.

after failing the college entrance examinations several times in a row, "tsinghua university" has changed from a "goal" to an "unspeakable secret" in tang shangjun's heart.

later, when others asked him about his ideal university, he would usually be vague or just give a random answer to get by.

except in his diary, he did not dare to mention his real goal to anyone. he was afraid that others would laugh at his wild ideas, and he was also afraid that if he failed to get into tsinghua university, he would be ridiculed by more people.

repeating a grade not only did not reduce his expectations for tsinghua university, but made him yearn for it even more.

tang shangjun in tsinghua university

at the end of august 2013, tang shangjun went to beijing with only one purpose: to visit tsinghua university.

before leaving, he counted the money in his pocket and found that it was only enough to buy a standing ticket for the slowest train, but he still set off. it took 56 hours from qinzhou to beijing, and he experienced the journey of his dreams while standing in the train.

along the way, he kept fantasizing that if he could really take the bus to tsinghua university to study like he was doing now in the future, then it would be worth it no matter how long he had to stand.

when tang shangjun went to tsinghua university, it was the time for new students to report for admission. looking at others hurrying by with their luggage, he vaguely thought he was in some kind of dream: the laughter of new students, the instructions of their parents, the welcome broadcast on campus... everything was real except himself.

he did not go too far that night. he sat in a park near tsinghua university all night. at dawn the next day, he went to school again and looked again at the scenery, teaching buildings, and library that he had visited the day before.

in autumn, when the tsinghua campus was covered with fallen leaves, he picked up a few ginkgo leaves as souvenirs. later, whenever he saw those leaves, he would think of the days when he visited tsinghua university. it felt like his dream was within reach.

tang shangjun visits tsinghua university

the so-called "goal" has become an "obsession."

after that day, getting into tsinghua university became the "prerequisite" for all tang shangjun's actions. although someone told him that he could realize his dream by taking the postgraduate entrance examination, he still felt that it was different.

life is not just about getting into tsinghua university.

but for tang shangjun at that time, only by being admitted to tsinghua university could he do other things, "in fact, it was just a matter of being dissatisfied again and again."

for tang shangjun, "taking the entrance exam to tsinghua university" gradually became a gamble, and the stakes were the time he had spent in the past and his entire future life.

after investing all your youth into something, who wouldn’t want a perfect ending?

in the summer of 2014, two things happened that made tang shangjun feel deeply moved.

the first thing was that he completed the sixth college entrance examination in his life with a total score of 573 and was admitted to southwest university of political science and law, but he had no plans to go.

the second thing was that wu shanliu, who was repeating the same grade as him at qinzhou no. 2 middle school and was already 32 years old, won the top spot in the science subject in qinzhou city and was successfully admitted to tsinghua university.

before this, this man, who was called a "college entrance examination madman" by the public, had participated in the college entrance examination 10 times. in order to realize his "tsinghua dream", he gave up the admission opportunities of many famous universities such as beijing jiaotong university and peking university.

both events gave tang shangjun great encouragement, because whether from his personal achievements or the deeds of others, they made him believe more that hard work and persistence are effective, so it is possible for him to be admitted to tsinghua university.

and this year, he was 26 years old.

but before realizing his dream, the first thing he had to do was to make up for his lie.

according to what he told his family, he would graduate from nanning mechanical and electrical technical school in 2014, which also meant that he would lose the tuition and living expenses previously provided by his family.

according to the regulations of qinzhou no. 2 middle school at that time, if the admission scores of students in the repeater class exceeded the first-tier score line of the guangxi college entrance examination that year, they could receive a "reward" of full tuition exemption and a monthly food and accommodation allowance of 400 yuan.

although it was not difficult for tang shangjun to get this "reward" considering his situation at the time, in addition to studying and eating, he also needed extra money in his pocket, some money that would make his family believe that he was earning money from working.

to this end, tang shangjun would try to do some hourly work in his spare time, and could barely earn more than 1,000 yuan a month, but he told his family that it was hard-earned money working in the electromechanical factory.

after pretending to have graduated from a technical school, tang shangjun lied that he worked in a mobile phone company called "sf express" in nanning, with a monthly salary of 1,600 yuan, accommodation but no food, and his daily work was to check whether there was any leakage of electricity or light on the mobile phone screen.

the family believed it firmly. whenever they talked about tang shangjun's work, they said with a smile on their faces that he was following a boss in the city, researching technology in a large factory. he didn't earn much money, but he didn't have to work hard to earn money anymore.

seeing that the youngest child in the family had finished his studies, the parents, who had worked hard all their lives, sold the cattle they had raised for more than ten years. in the spring of next year, they planned to replace the farmland with forest land.

"we have supported him until he completes his studies, so he won't have to go home to grow sugarcane anymore." speaking of her youngest son, the mother's tone was full of pride.

during the years when he worked in the electronics factory, tang shangjun would go to nanning every once in a while, then use the phone there to ask about the situation at home, and then take a bus back to qinzhou after the call.

following the habits of other migrant workers, he only returns home during the spring festival. before going home, he would first buy some new year goods, and then replace the shopping bags printed with the word "qinzhou", "otherwise i would have no explanation if my family saw it."

but due to financial difficulties, they could only buy some cheap candies as new year's goods.

in order to make himself look like a young man entering society, he would change into a dark leather jacket or suit jacket before going home every time, so that he would look more mature. otherwise, his sister would always ask him why he was still wearing sportswear and dressed like a student when he was working.

of course, there are times when things are almost exposed.

tang shangjun's brothers and sisters all live in qinzhou. he is always nervous when walking on the street, for fear of meeting his family.

but you can't escape the fifteenth day. during his repeat year, tang shangjun met his sister twice. faced with his family's questioning, he could only use the excuse of a class reunion.

once, tang shangjun's third cousin went to nanning on a business trip and wanted to invite his younger brother to have dinner and drinks together. however, he made more than ten calls to tang shangjun's cell phone, but no one answered.

the cousin was upset about this, and during the new year's eve dinner that year, he scolded his younger brother: "you can't forget your roots if you can't go to the city. no matter who you become in the future, you must remember your family."

the third cousin complained that tang shangjun didn't answer the phone

tang shangjun, who was sitting nearby, lowered his head and said nothing. he didn't dare to say anything. in fact, he knew that it was his cousin who called, but he was repeating his studies in qinzhou at the time. how could he go to nanning to see his relatives?

when he was repeating a grade without telling his family, tang shangjun was most afraid of the summer vacation because he couldn't find a place to stay and he couldn't go home. "office workers" don't have summer vacation.

after the school dormitories were closed, he would contact his best friend and stay at his home for a few days, and then go to work during the summer vacation after the college entrance examination results came out.

the first lie would require countless lies to cover it up, and tang shangjun would sometimes feel tired of this.

in 2014, in order to borrow money, he turned to his best friend from junior high school, he hanli.

at that time, he hanli was working in the documentary department of a tv station. when he heard that tang shangjun was still in his senior year of high school, he came up with the idea of ​​making a documentary about his friend's experience.

tang shangjun was reluctant at first, but he felt that since he had to borrow money from others, it would be bad to not "pay" anything.

taking this opportunity, the two returned to tang shangjun's hometown together. he hanli lied that he was going to film the local spring festival customs and stayed at tang's house for a few days.

one night, tang shangjun drank some wine, maybe he was drunk, he suddenly said to himself facing he hanli's camera:

"the dream in my heart always drives me to do those things... i originally planned to do it for only one year, but now it has been five years... i now doubt whether the saying 'knowledge changes destiny' is true... now that i think about it, there is actually still a long way to go, but i can't turn back now. i can only go a little further. no matter what the result is, it will be much better than before."

that night, tang shangjun suddenly felt that whether or not he could be admitted to tsinghua university didn't seem so important anymore.

hiding behind one lie after another, tang shangjun managed to finish his 10th grade high school entrance examination in hiding.

in 2016, he took the college entrance examination for the eighth time and achieved the best score in history, 621 points, and was successfully admitted to the business administration department of china university of political science and law.

when tang shangjun's teachers and classmates in the repeater class learned of the result, they were extremely happy, thinking that he had finally waited for a good result. however, tang shangjun was not so excited because his father was seriously ill with advanced lung cancer.

after receiving the admission letter from china university of political science and law, tang shangjun rushed to the hospital where his father was. in the ward, he revealed to everyone the lie he had hidden for many years.

his father did not beat or scold him. he just held the admission letter tightly in his hand, looked at every word on it for a long time, and finally folded it and carefully put it into the mail bag. he smiled and said, "my condition has been relieved by half. i am very happy."

it was this smile that made tang shangjun, who had been carrying years of pressure and guilt, feel relieved.

the same goes for mother.

after knowing the truth, she did not blame her son. instead, she shed tears of heartache. after receiving the admission letter, she stared at the photo of tang shangjun on the letter because she was illiterate and could not understand what was written on it.

until tang shangjun's words "part-time work and part-time study" interrupted her thoughts, she hurriedly advised: "don't worry, concentrate on studying, don't think about your father, he has this disease, you can't worry about him, even if you want to worry, you can't do anything."

faced with his mother's kindness, tang shangjun did not give her a direct answer, but just said that he wanted to take them to beijing during the summer vacation to visit his future school.

after a 23-hour train ride, tang shangjun and his family arrived in beijing. they visited the great wall, the forbidden city, and ate peking duck.

tang shangjun and his family at the great wall

everything seems to be heading towards a happy ending, but the reality is always full of twists and turns and surprises.

according to the date written on the admission letter, tang shangjun should have registered at china university of political science and law on september 3, 2016. but on that day, he just went to the school to experience it and then returned to high school to repeat his senior year.

tang shangjun had many reasons for giving up the china university of political science and law, the most important of which was to raise money for his father's medical treatment.

according to the enrollment advertisement released by a private middle school in nanning at that time, repeaters who scored above 600 points could receive a bonus of 100,000 yuan. i heard that a student repeated a year and was admitted to tsinghua university the following year and received another bonus of 600,000 yuan.

at that moment, "money" was a huge attraction for tang shangjun. he calculated that his father's chemotherapy would cost about 80,000 yuan, and with this bonus, his family would no longer have to worry.

what's more, my college entrance examination score has exceeded 620 points. if i try again next year, maybe i can really be admitted to tsinghua university.

after weighing the pros and cons, he chose to deceive again, hiding it from everyone and returning to high school to repeat his studies.

two years later, tang shangjun's father passed away. until the last moment of his life, he still thought that his son was studying at china university of political science and law.

because of the fact that he had concealed his intention to go to school, there was no longer any trust between tang shangjun and his family. during his time at china university of political science and law, his elder brother and sister had tried to inquire and find out in various ways whether their younger brother had really gone to beijing to study.

faced with these temptations, tang shangjun had no choice but to cooperate with the other party again and again, saying a few words, "i am in school and everything is fine." as for more details, he did not say, and his family did not understand.

he desperately wanted to make up for the lie and end everything, and the only way to do that was to get into a better school, preferably tsinghua university.

but tang shangjun seemed to have forgotten that he was nearly 30 years old and faced the high-intensity challenge of repeating a grade.

can he make it through?

before 2016, tang shangjun's performance was always as he expected, with improvement every year.

after 2016, tang shangjun's grades became unstable. in various mock exams, when he performed well, he could score 650 points; when he performed poorly, he could only barely pass the first-tier line.

in 2019, tang shangjun achieved his best score ever, 645 points. even chongqing university extended an olive branch to him. he could end it all with just a nod.

but he hesitated.

ten years ago, he was more than 300 points away from tsinghua university. ten years later, the distance between him and tsinghua university was only 52 points.

he firmly believed that in just two more years, no, maybe just one year, he would be able to enter this top university of his dreams.

so he decided to take the risk and continue repeating his studies.

i never thought that the dream of tsinghua university would no longer become clear, but become more and more distant.

in the following years, tang shangjun's grades kept declining, 619, 591, 597, 594...

not to mention tsinghua university, even 600 points has become a difficult hurdle to overcome.

at the same time, the news that tang shangjun had repeated grades gradually became a well-known "secret" under the fermentation of new media and short videos, and even relatives and friends knew about it.

at this point, although the elder brother and sister were angry, they said nothing more. they knew that accusations would not have any effect.

the mother, who is over 70, no longer cares whether her son can get into college. she only hopes that he can get married and have children as soon as possible and live a normal life.

the teacher of the repeat class also advised him that as things had come to this point, the outcome was already clear and tsinghua university was not the only choice.

public opinion outside was even more sharp. some people thought he was pathetic, some thought he had long been possessed by a demon, and some thought he was a joke... some even speculated that tang shangjun took the college entrance examination many times just to get the reward for the repeat class and make money.

he argued that apart from two relatively substantial bonuses in 2016 for repeating his father's medical treatment in a private high school and in 2022 for being admitted to shanghai jiao tong university, the rest were only enough for basic living expenses.

at the end of june 2023, it is another time to check college entrance examination results.

tang shangjun nervously opened the report card - 594 points.

although his grades were not ideal, tang shangjun was ready to go to school. no matter what, he wanted to end it all.

an accident happened.

he applied for the physics and chemistry majors at central china normal university, but his scores were not high enough and he was rejected from both majors.

he had two options before him: accept the adjustment or repeat the year.

but like every year in the past sixteen years, it seems that there are two paths every year, but in fact there is only one path.

tang shangjun decided to repeat his studies for another year.

this year, he was 35 years old.

the day before the 2024 college entrance examination, tang shangjun posted a 12-second video on social media and attached the following sentence: "although the road is long and full of wind and rain, the light of dreams shines ahead."

in the highly praised comments below, someone sarcastically said: "i am making a prediction here. he will still take the college entrance examination next year. do you believe it?"

tang shangjun did not respond to him.

three months later.

tang shangjun appeared at the gate of south china normal university carrying his luggage. he walked quickly, taking two steps at a time, to the registration classroom, and then stepped into the dormitory where he would spend the next four years.

he lay on his back on the mat on the bed, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and quietly felt everything around him.

this is the result of his sixteen years of hard work, and it is also the place he should have set foot in more than ten years ago.

on the second day of enrollment, a reporter from southern weekend approached tang shangjun. during the interview, tang shangjun mentioned his regrets and said calmly: "i do have some regrets, and i hope to make up for them while i am in college. i will take a look at the difficulty of tsinghua's postgraduate entrance examination and what each major is like, and then make a specific choice."

life is just a dream within a dream, and worldly affairs are like the wind within the wind.

sixteen years have passed, but he has never forgotten tsinghua university and the dream that brought him hope and pain.

references:

1. interview with he hanli of southern weekend: "tang shangjun studied in the senior year of high school for 14 years, and the director "hopes that repeating a grade will disappear forever"

2. "people" interview with tang shangjun and he hanli: "repeated high school for twelve years, unable to get out of it"

3. an interview with tang shangjun from the paper: "after twelve years of repeating my studies, i only wanted to go to tsinghua university"

4. documentary "high ten"

5. tang shangjun's weibo, etc.

image sources: documentary "high ten", internet, southern weekend, tang shangjun's weibo, documentary young hero - new director he hanli