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Author: Creative Team·Jin Shanyue

Recently, a new man-made buzzword has emerged - "Unfinished Baby".

I thought "full-time children" was heartbreaking enough, but I didn't expect that the unfinished story would hurt me so much again.

What is a bad ending?

As the name suggests, it means that children study hard for more than ten years, but become unemployed upon graduation, know nothing, and have accomplished nothing. Their life starts to go wrong from then on... and as the developers of these unfinished projects, parents are powerless and can only watch their hard work go to waste.

Although this phrase is just a joke made by netizens and is a mockery of the education circle, when I think about it carefully, I can't laugh anymore.

Let’s talk about the children first.

There is not an easy step in the long journey of studying. I thought I could change my fate by studying, but in the end I found that I could not change anything.

Let’s talk about parents.

From the moment the child is born, the heart is tied tightly. I am not afraid of any hardship I have to endure, but I am afraid that the child’s future will not be happy.

Times have changed. If the purpose of education is still to make people superior to others, then "bad ending" seems to be inevitable.

There are countless crossroads in everyone's growth journey.

If you are not careful, your child may deviate from the path you have planned.

There stood a pair of anxious parents

The summer vacation is halfway through, and many parents have posted their “summer tuition bills”.

Among them, netizens@cittymamaThe bill is particularly regrettable.

My daughter is in seventh grade and my son is in fourth grade. The summer vacation budget for these two money-eating beasts is as high as 150,000 yuan.

To support this expenditure, parents need to work hard to earn money and then save money as much as possible.

In addition to bills, more parents are sharing their children's daily lives online.

Not long ago, the weekend schedule of a third-grade student in Haidian went viral.

When I clicked on it, I was so overcrowded with arrangements that I felt suffocated even through the screen.

"Friday: 3:30-4:30, one-hour online class with a foreign teacher at 5:10-6:10, public speaking class at 7:00-8:30, critical thinking class at 8:30; Saturday: one-on-one English class in the morning, PET preparation; one calligraphy class and one math Olympiad class in the afternoon; Sunday: one programming class at 8:30-9:30 in the morning, then go to the museum or see an exhibition..."

No wonder netizens complained, "I'm too old to watch such high-intensity things." "It's too worrying!"

In the protracted battle of education, as long as you want to win, you will have endless money to spend and endless worry.

In order to get high scores and enter prestigious schools, we can invest at any cost and occupy our children's time.

Some people say that the current education system is a “leverage” model.

Everyone tries to use "exams" as a fulcrum to make a small investment for a big gain and leverage their children's future.

In fact, we ourselves know that this kind of education is essentially gambling.

No one wants to be so competitive, but the reality is like the "theater effect" in psychology, which leaves people with no way out.

Originally, everyone was sitting and watching the show, but when one person stood up, the others also stood up to watch the show. In the end, whether voluntarily or forced, everyone had to stand.

As long as someone opens the book, parents will inevitably follow suit in order to prevent their children from falling behind.

It can be said that behind every child who is being bullied, there is a pair of anxious parents.

This is the collective dilemma of Chinese parents.

Because of the responsibility on our shoulders, we dare not lie down or relax, for fear that we may not do enough and ruin our children's lives.

But the world is an endless black hole. For ordinary people, conditions, resources, time and energy are so limited.

We can only do our best to support them and eagerly hope that they can succeed.

But don’t forget, if you bet with “leverage”, you must be prepared to not make back your investment.

Full of uncertainty

When I returned to my hometown not long ago, I unexpectedly learned that my cousin's son had dropped out of school due to emotional problems.

In my impression, this child is a good student. When he was in kindergarten, he recognized quite a few characters and could recite hundreds of words.

The child was smart and had a good foundation, so the sister-in-law cultivated him even more attentively, and even used the demolition compensation to send her son to a private school.

I remember that every winter and summer vacation, my sister-in-law took her son to travel around and visited famous universities such as Peking University and Tsinghua University.

How come the child became so decadent in the blink of an eye?

I heard from relatives that this child stays in the house playing games every day, and gets angry with anyone who tries to persuade him.

But I still couldn't help but call my brother and sister-in-law, wanting to ask the kids to come out and relax.

From what they said, the child suffered from depression due to years of high-pressure study and was very averse to interacting with people.

I had no choice but to give up, but I couldn't calm down for a long time.

I was thinking, if this child had not encountered any problems and had been admitted to a prestigious school, would he definitely be successful?

I'm afraid not. After all, in this uncertain era, everything is full of variables, including education.

In other words, there are many factors that affect educational outcomes.

In addition to the conditions of the children and parents themselves, the external environment is also very important.

For example, the economic turmoil in social development, the employment situation after graduation, and the uneven backgrounds of peers...

Just like the top students who got into famous schools@Tsinghua Xiaocui, as stated on the Internet.

When he finally got admitted to Tsinghua University after 17 years of hard study, what was waiting for him was not the joy of success, but the sadness of being beaten up in various ways.

Because there are too many good students and everyone is competitive, it is still difficult for him to find a job after graduation.

At first, Xiao Cui was very disappointed, but gradually he realized that life is not like an exam, where you can't get points just by writing the correct answers.

American writer Morgan Hauser once said: Randomness, risk, and uncertainty constitute the world we have to face.

This conclusion also applies to raising children.

Even if we try our best, we cannot ensure that our child's body and mind can withstand it, nor can we guarantee his success in the future.

"Study good books - go to a good university - find a good job - have a good life", each connection point may be broken because of a small thing.

Behind the phenomenon of "chicken baby unfinished" lies a heartbreaking truth.

That is, in uncertain times, everyone's fate is uncertain.

I understand that no child will really "end in tatters"

Graduates from 211 Universities@小翟, told an experience of his own, which is thought-provoking to read.

In 2012, with infinite hope for the future, she graduated from school and officially entered the society.

Who would have thought that just after leaving school, she would be hit hard by the extremely cruel job market.

"I sent out 225 resumes in one week, and all of them were wiped out."

After repeated setbacks in his job search, Xiao Zhai completely lost confidence.

She returned to her hometown in despair and started to live off her parents.

She said self-deprecatingly, "I am a typical unfinished child," and suddenly became a negative example from "other people's child."

When he was most depressed, Xiao Zhai strolled on the streets every day and often went to the cultural relics market not far away.

As she was wandering around, suddenly one day, an idea popped into her mind - to open a second-hand store to collect used goods.

Afterwards, she conducted market research, made a feasibility plan, and estimated the start-up capital based on what she had learned in college.

Next, she began visiting relatives and friends to raise funds for opening a store, and listed the business strategies and revenue targets for each stage.

Within two months, Xiao Zhai's store was on the right track, and with her hard work, the store made a profit that year.

She said with emotion: "I finally understand now that a meaningful life never ends badly."

When we no longer regard education as a ladder to heaven, you will find that every child can find his place in this world.

The purpose of education is to activate the advantages in children's nature and help them find the path they should take.

You don't have to be a superior person or cross the class barrier. As long as you can think and live independently, it is a success of education.

Jin Weichun, a famous media person, told the story of his daughter in his book.

When their daughter was just born, he and his wife also planned to give her an elite education.

They spared no expense in hiring a private piano teacher for their daughter and finding a famous painter to teach her painting.

The purpose is to let my daughter pursue a career in art and become a world-renowned artist.

But unfortunately, my daughter is not interested in art.

After graduating from college, she rejected her parents' arrangement, began to study green diet, and finally opened a small restaurant.

Jin Weichun felt sorry for his daughter's mediocrity at first, but later, seeing how much his daughter liked it, he completely accepted it.

With the support and encouragement of her parents, my daughter is more motivated in both life and work.

If judged based on the "input-output" approach, it can be said that nine out of ten children will cause their parents to lose money.

But raising a person is not an economic investment and cannot be measured entirely by utilitarian indicators.

It is more important to have a sound personality and a positive attitude than to attend a prestigious school.

Adolf Diestalozzi, a famous German educator, said:

The art of teaching lies not in imparting skills but in being good at motivating, awakening and inspiring.

Please believe that every child who is awakened and inspired will not really have a bad ending.

Psychologist Marvin Marshall said:

“When the flowers we plant don’t grow as well as we expected, we shouldn’t blame the flowers, but look for the reasons in our own planting and other aspects.”

If your child's development is different from what you expected, it may not be related to the child, but to your expectations.

In fact, the children who are called "unfinished kids" are not so unsuccessful, nor are they as unsuccessful as netizens joke.

The reason why they are defined in this way is mostly because they have not become what their parents or secular concepts expect them to be.

Life is a difficult journey, with many potholes and few smooth roads.

So, don’t be too harsh on your children, and don’t be too harsh on yourself.

There is nothing wrong in raising your children healthily and leading them to a peaceful life.

The original intention of education should always be to cultivate an excellent person.

Instead of chasing return on investment, frame everything in terms of profit.

Share this with parents and friends.