2024-10-07
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recently, a video of a man being asked for a gift of 180,000 yuan for marrying a bride was circulated on the internet, attracting attention. on october 7, huaibin county, xinyang city, henan province, where the incident occurred, reported that because the groom transferred 188,000 yuan in gift money to the bride’s personal bank account, the bride’s family believed that they had not received the gift money directly, so they blocked the wedding car from leaving. the local government has admonished the bride's brother for his behavior and organized mediation between the two parties. the groom will pay the bride's family 30,000 yuan for the dowry.
the live video showed that the groom first pulled the bride out of her natal house, walked through the crowd and took her to the car, and instructed the driver to drive. however, a male family member who was suspected of being the bride soon followed and lay directly on the hood of the vehicle, obstructing her. as the vehicle moved forward, there were people nearby trying to dissuade it, but to no avail. such a wedding "scene" is really embarrassing and really embarrassing for the couple.
it stands to reason that the betrothal gift respects the principle of voluntary consent of both parties. who should be given, how much should be given, and how should it be given? it should be negotiated and completed before the official wedding. when the wedding car comes to pick up the bride, such a temporary incident will not only is it disrespectful, but it is also a huge disrespect to the two newlyweds and the wedding. it not only destroys the mood of the wedding parties, but also creates bad feelings and damages the long-term relationship between the two families.
the original intention of getting married is for two people to live a happy life together. a normal marriage will also allow two families to connect because of the new couple, and then lead to long-term contacts and mutual assistance, becoming in-laws who are not related by blood but have common interests. but "stopping a train to ask for a bride price" immediately changed the taste of marriage. as some netizens said, how will the bride get along with her husband's family in the future? if my brother does this, isn't he harming his sister?
article 1042 of the civil code stipulates that “arranged marriages, purchased marriages and other acts that interfere with the freedom of marriage are prohibited. it is prohibited to ask for property through marriage.” asking for betrothal gifts on the wedding car is tantamount to turning your sister’s marriage into a it became a "one-time transaction". if you really love your sister, you shouldn't have to keep the money in your own hands, let alone intercept the convoy on the wedding day.
the purpose of the bride price is to harmonize the two surnames and live together for a long time. we should not only look at the tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of yuan in gift money in front of us, but also see that a harmonious kinship relationship is more in line with the long-term interests of the two families, and both parties can benefit from this relationship in the long term.
this incident has attracted so much attention on the internet. it is conceivable that it will definitely cause a lot of discussion among local acquaintances. and this discussion is bound to affect the family involved. it is also foreseeable that the conflicts and disputes between the two parties will not end easily with the completion of the wedding or official coordination. in the long life to come, disputes and frictions are likely to arise again. after all this turmoil, is there any winner?
objectively speaking, how the local government handles this matter and how online public opinion evaluates this matter will also have an impact on the local area and invisibly lead to the change of bad customs. the local government should also have this awareness, keep track of the incident, handle its follow-up more carefully and properly, and even take the initiative to strengthen publicity and establish a new trend through this case.
changing customs is not something that can be accomplished in a day. it is not difficult to deal with a disharmonious wedding scene; but there is still a long way to go to truly change the customs of a place.
also during this holiday, the topic of post-00s wedding arrangements has also attracted attention. the post-00s generation has a more personalized understanding and practical operation of weddings, but the common point is that they advocate simplicity and are meant to make themselves comfortable rather than costing money and tiring. in many weddings planned by the post-00 generation, there is not only no extravagance and waste, but also no betrothal gifts and dowries. both parties understand that since they are going to live a long life, all they spend at this moment is their own money.
therefore, whether it is the parents of both parties, the brother-in-law or other family members, in the marriage of a new couple, you might as well listen to the voices of the parties involved in the marriage, and change "everything is for your own good" to "everything is for your own good." good".