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In the movie, Ma Chenggang (played by Shen Teng) is a first-generation rich man who started from scratch and has gone through a lot of hardships. He and his ex-wife gave birth to a son, Ma Dajun, who is a man without any bad intentions and even a little silly. He lives a rich life but has no education, and he can't be expected to inherit the family business. He is called"The big number that wasted practice"So all the burdens and expectations fell on the youngest son born to his current wife Chunlan (played by Ma Li). In order to let his son inherit the family business, he even named him"Ma Jiye", the only thing left is to label the child with the expectation that he or she will become successful.

Seeing that his youngest son was spoiled by eight nannies and was about to repeat the old scene, Ma Chenggang and his wife resolutely left the villa.A panoramic "poverty version" of the siege was built in the courtyard. An education team was invited to serve as NPCs in the son's life, secretly serving the child's growth.

Walking five kilometers to school, saving water by stealing water meters, making money by picking up bottles... These extreme money-saving operations are part of the educational process of "remembering the bitterness and thinking of the sweetness". The scary thing is that these scenes that make us laugh are actually happening to the protagonists of the movie, and this training lasted for more than ten years.

Raising a child in a cage would drive anyone crazy.

If the first half of the movie is funny because of the extreme irony of the rich clown pretending to be poor, the second half of the movie is funny because of the judgment. The "for your own good" based on the child's pain makes people a little uncomfortable...

As "Ma Jiye" grows,As a child's self-awareness develops, he begins to realize how he feels manipulated in his life.He wanted to do track and field, but his parents issued him a false disability certificate; the girl who was close to him was "sent" to a better school by her parents; he saw his "grandma" who had been disabled for many years playing basketball on the playground, so the next day his "grandma" faked her death and was forced to go offline...When everything in life becomes unreasonable, the successor training plan gradually becomes unraveled.

After the college entrance examination, Ma Jiye walked into the secret room and found that he was actually living under the control, surveillance and deception of his parents. This educational experiment ended in a tragic failure.

Just like in a sophisticated high-tech greenhouse, with the best breeders, top-grade nutrient solution, suitable temperature and climate, and appropriate light. Ma Jiye's life was luxurious from the beginning. But in this airtight laboratory, the lack of truth and trust, which are as important as soil and water, ultimately resulted in the plants not being able to produce brilliant fruits, and the bond between the son and his parents was also broken.

Behind the magnified exaggeration is a portrayal of real life. In this film on the theme of education, the protagonists seem to be children who are carefully "cared for", but they are actually parents who are educators outside the camera and outside the "fourth wall".

Fromm mentioned in The Art of Loving that fatherly love is conditional: "I love you because you fulfill my wishes, because you fulfill your duties, and because you are like me."

Although the sharp conflict was cleverly resolved at the end of the film when Ma Chenggang asked his son, "Are you coming home for dinner tonight?", the family-friendly ending did not make the audience feel at ease.While parents wait their whole lives for their children to be grateful, their children are also waiting for an apology from their parents.

Whose benefit is “for your own good”? Is it the parents’ obsession or the children’s dream to get into Peking University or Tsinghua University? Should I live the life I want? Or should I become what you want me to be?

When education in the name of love is built on the pain of children, this "self-inflicted" mode of education will become a lifelong nightmare for children, and the essence of this education will make all true feelings full of purpose.

This line in the film speaks for itself in many families. Not every family is as rich and extreme as Ma Chenggang and his wife, but this kind of indebted relationship between parents and children can be seen everywhere in daily life.

The Indian movie "The Starting Line" also focuses on education issues. Parents who have made their fortunes from scratch feel that their children must receive the best education to make up for their regrets. However, the admission qualifications are in short supply, and everyone wants to squeeze into this track. They can only find ways to enter the school through special poverty channels. So the parents pretend to be poor in order to pass the qualification review.

"I'm not good enough to get the best educational resources for you like the rich and powerful. But I have also given you everything I have." Parents and children seem to have always been tied to each other's lives.

Gu Jia, the excellent mother in the TV series "Nothing But Thirty", as the name suggests, does everything to take care of her family. She quit her glamorous job to take care of her husband and son's daily life. She took on a school district house that was beyond her ability, bought expensive luxury bags, learned to make desserts to please the wives, and worked hard to join the circle of "rich wives" just so that her son could enter the aristocratic kindergarten.

At the end of the TV series, Gu Jia divorced her scumbag husband, sold her property, laid off her employees, and started over again to find her original intention in life. But for ordinary people like us, how much trial and error cost do we have?

"Noble education" has always been a difficult educational issue for middle-class families. The easy version is to send children to international schools with high tuition fees and then study abroad. The challenging mode is to directly move the family abroad, find a legal job to make a living, apply for a green card, and wait to get the identity."This difficult journey can take anywhere from three to five years to several decades. If any link goes wrong, it will be an unbearable burden for those who have left their hometowns."

People often say that there are three traps for the middle class to fall back into poverty: a mortgage of nearly 10 million, a spouse not working, and sending children to study abroad. It has to be said that the movie "Catching Dolls" is a movie that is covered with the skin of "the richest man in Xihong City", but in fact reflects the anxiety of the middle class. For the majority of the middle class, there are not so many opportunities for trial and error.“I have already given so much to my child, but he is not successful, what should I do? "On this prescribed path, if you make a mistake, you can only walk this path again. This is a reasonable answer and a destined choice.

In the view of psychologist Alice Miller, many people continue to pass on the cruel behaviors and attitudes they were subjected to in their childhoods, trying to become ideal parents, but in essence they are trying to become ideal children for their parents.

Written by: Rachel

Design: Mika Zhang

Image source: Weibo, Douban, video screenshot