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Has everyone watched the recent hit summer movie "Catching Dolls"?

It has now exceeded 1.5 billion, entering the top ten box office rankings of mainland movies in the past 24 years. Industry organizations even predict that the total box office will reach 3.7 billion, and it is expected to become the annual champion.

What is "Catch the Doll" about? Why is it a box office hit and a hot topic among parents? (Note: The following contains some spoilers)

In the movie, the wealthy couple Ma Chenggang and Chunlan from Xihong City created an educational scam for their children in order to train a qualified heir to the richest man.

At first, the wealthy Ma Chenggang felt that his "big brother" was useless - his eldest son was incompetent and could not take over the business he had built, so he and his wife Chunlan gave birth to a "small brother" and raised him in luxury;

As a result, a "giant baby" was raised. Seeing that the "small one" was about to be ruined, Ma Chenggang immediately changed direction - raising the child in poverty.

Of course, in this "Truman Show" created for his youngest son by relying on his money, it is actually just a superficial poor upbringing. In fact, Ma Chenggang has carefully built a "rich upbringing" education base for his son:

The shoe repairman is a physics teacher; the chess player is a math expert; the newsstand owner is a liberal arts expert; even the grandmother is played by an education expert...

The sentence his son Ma Jiye has heard most often since he was a child is "You must study hard and get admitted to Peking University or Tsinghua University."

But in the end, things went against their wishes. Ma Chenggang and his wife tried their best to pretend to be poor, but ended up turning themselves into "fake parents".

The movie sparked discussions about "miserable education" and "rich upbringing". In reality, there are often people like Ma Chenggang in "Catching Dolls".Parents who implement a hardship-style education for their children and force their children to "endure hardship without any effort" believe that if their children want to succeed, they must understand what hardship is and endure more hardship.

But they often ignoreMaterial "suffering" does not necessarily lead to spiritual "wealth"。

When using hardship education to discipline children, thinking that by "pretending to be poor" and strict control, children's hardworking qualities can be cultivated:

However, they ignore the fact that they have never given their children understanding and respect, and instead ask their children to follow the script they have written and proceed step by step.

What has sparked more discussion than the "hardship-style education without any hardship" is that there are many parents, like Ma Chenggang and his wife, who do not understand what true wealth-based upbringing means.

In the movie "Catching Dolls", how did Ma Chenggang educate his eldest son?I can’t let my children go through the same hardships I went through – raising children with material wealth, but ended up raising his eldest son to be uneducated;

Treating the younger sonAnother type of rich education: to suffer the greatest material hardship, but to give the best resources to the childrenHowever, in the script that they thought was carefully choreographed, the parent-child relationship became nothing more than KPI, with no real feelings left.

Material poverty does not equal spiritual abundance, and material abundance does not equal spiritual poverty.

As was widely reported by the media some time ago: Zhu Yetian, a teenager who took the college entrance examination in a Maybach at the gate of Hangzhou No. 2 Middle School, scored a high score of 700 points and was admitted to Peking University.

Coming from a wealthy family background, he broke the stereotype of "rich second generation = uneducated" under the influence of good family traditions.

The abundance of material and resources is one thing, but we cannot simply ignore the spiritual enrichment behind it.

1

What is true spiritual enrichment?

During the 2024 college entrance examination, it was like a dream for 18-year-old Zhu Yetian.

First, before entering the examination room, he was accidentally photographed using a Maybach luxury car to pick him up for the exam, which became a hot topic and he was nicknamed "Maybach Master" by some netizens;

Just when everyone thought that this was another "young master" from a wealthy family coming out to experience life, Zhu Yetian's college entrance examination results came out - his total score was 700 points, and he was successfully admitted to Peking University's chemistry major.

Facing the interview with the reporter, 18-year-old Zhu Yetian said frankly:

I would like to get rid of the label of "unlearned and unskillful" through my own efforts.

Many netizens wonder why they have to suffer the college entrance examination when their family is already so rich?

Zhu Yetian thought that he just wanted to study at Peking University.In the future, I also want to become a scientific researcher and engage in material-related research.

At the same time, the current situation of Tsinghua student Pang Zhongwang sparked heated discussions online.

7 years ago, Pang Zhongwang, who was called a "noble son from a poor family" by the media, worked hard to get into Tsinghua University;

Seven years later, he is now a third-year doctoral student at Tsinghua University, engaged in the scientific research that interests him most.

From both of them, we can see thatWhether you come from a wealthy family or a so-called poor family, you can achieve true spiritual enrichment.

NO.1

Parents who lead by example are the best role models

Educator Ushinsky once said: "Examples are a very beneficial sunshine for children's hearts, and this sunshine cannot be replaced by anything."

Every move of parents is a reference for their children's growth. The best spiritual enrichment is for parents to set an example for their children.

Contrary to the parents who set a good example, in the movie "Catching Dolls", in order to let Ma Jiye study with peace of mind, his parents openly accompany him to study, but secretly put a mobile phone in his book; the mother is too sleepy and hits her head on the light switch, and suddenly the room is dark, with only three faces illuminated by the mobile phones.

The question left for Ma Jiye was: "How come our family is so poor when they love studying so much?"

But a famous family like Zhu Yetian,What is most important in our family is the influence of leading by example.

In the generation of Zhu Yetian’s grandfather Zhu Bingren, there wasDon't forget to learn and acquire as much knowledge and skills as possible.

When it comes to Zhu Yetian, the family hopes thatUse the elders' own habits to influence him subtly, rather than deliberately teach him verbally.。

Zhu Yetian grew up in such a family environment. Seeing his parents' hard work and self-discipline, he sincerely hoped that he could be like his grandfather and father.

Under his mother's guidance, Pang Zhongwang understood what true optimism is.

Some time ago, Pang Zhongwang was interviewed by CCTV. After many years, he talked about the past again and said that the person who had the greatest influence on him was also his mother.

He mentioned that from childhood to adulthood, I feel that my mother taught me a lot. She always said that no matter what you face, you have to solve it. My mother educated me to be a very optimistic person since childhood. My mother often saidPeople should look forward, because my mother smiles every day, why should I feel sad?

NO.2

The best way to enrich yourself is to let your mind relax.

In addition to being good role models for their children, parents also need toGive children more space for self-growth.

Philosopher Simon Blackburn said:

"Parents' vision and pattern determine their ideas for raising their children, and ultimately affect their children's vision and pattern."

Zhu Yetian's mother is alsoThey showed him great respect and trust when he faced choices in life.

Whenever faced with a choice, she gives the choice to her children. She helps them analyze every possibility, the pros and cons of each path, the difficulties and challenges each path faces, and then lets them make their own choices. No matter what decision the children make, she firmly supports them.

This method of educationEncourage children to think independently and face choices and consequences bravely.

Behind the willingness to give children autonomy is actually parents' appreciation and trust in their children.Children who are brought up spiritually enriched can face their lives more independently in the future.

butSpiritual laissez-faire does not mean leaving their children alone. Parents should not only let their children understand where the boundaries are, but more importantly, let them understand why the boundaries are there.

Even in a family like Zhu Yetian's, his parents will impose certain management and constraints on him.

Because of this, these children who are brought up with spiritual enrichmentYou can be yourself calmly without being defined by the world, and you will not become a "careless and domineering" child.

2

Children who grow up in wealth can easily relax

The understanding of "success" by two Finnish primary school students in the documentary "Childhood in a Foreign Land" reflects the essence of "spiritual enrichment":

You don’t need any great achievements or any success. Success is having the confidence to be yourself.

The ultimate goal of "spiritual enrichment" isHelp children develop a firm "self-awareness", which includes objective self-knowledge, positive self-experience and effective self-regulation.

NO.1

Objective self-awareness

Children raised with spiritual enrichmentKnow how to think independently and look at your life soberly.

Obviously, the eldest son in the movie "Catching Dolls" who was defined as "spoiled" by Ma Chenggang is a typical example of a person who has not been spiritually enriched.

When he was sent abroad to study by his father, he was completely abandoned by his parents. Because of this, the eldest son appeared in front of his parents as an idler for a long time. When he finally climbed Mount Everest and shouted, "I don't need you to look up to me!", he also ignored his love for his parents.

On the contrary,Facing the sudden attention after his sudden popularity, Zhu Yetian, who was raised in a spiritually rich environment, has his own understanding. His response is mature beyond his age:

After all, I am a vested interest, and all I can do is to do my best and try not to disturb others.

He will not deny himself because of some negative comments on the Internet, nor will he feel superior to others because of his family or achievements. He has a correct self-awareness and will not easily waste his energy.

Recently, a video interview of a primary school student in Hong Kong has been all over the Internet. Like Zhu Yetian, in the video, a student was admitted to a well-known secondary school in Hong Kong. The media asked him about his experience in the exam. Although he is not even ten years old, he said very maturely:

It’s not hard work, studying is my duty.

During the interview, Chen also mentioned that he would attend cram school non-stop after school every Monday to Friday night. It was because of his hard work that he was able to get into a good school.

He is well aware of the cruelty and involution of education in Hong Kong, and can also see the high-quality educational environment provided by his parents for him, so he does not feel pain about the life he is experiencing.

NO.2

Positive self-experience

Many psychologists believe that confident children will be more motivated to learn; children with high self-esteem tend to have stronger internal motivation and are more likely to be happy and satisfied.

andSpiritual enrichment means allowing children to gain higher self-esteem and self-confidence through positive feedback.

As an only child in Northeast China, Xiaoyu has never been afraid to try or express his love for others. In his memory, he has always been praised by his parents. His father always said, "You didn't come to school late today, that's great!" His mother also always encouraged him when he made mistakes.

It is alsoWith the unconditional support of their parents, children who are spiritually enriched are cheerful, confident, and full of relaxation. Just seeing their smiles will make you feel full of vitality.。

More importantly, such childrenThey seem to be born with the ability to love. They will not be stingy with their love for fear of getting hurt. Even if they are hurt, they can accept it calmly and start over.。

NO.3

Effective self-regulation

In the process of growing up, children who are spiritually enrichedRarely are you denied, but more often are you seen, listened to, understood and cared for.

When netizen Xiaoka shared his own growing up experience, he pointed out that a spiritually rich family is the greatest confidence in life for an ordinary girl.

she saysParents are very good at understanding their children's lives and mental states through listening, and they also attach great importance to their social and interpersonal relationships.I still remember when I was in primary school and had a conflict with my desk mate, my parents would comfort me through my bad emotions and help me organize my words so that I could reconcile with him.

Such similar experiences allow children to get along with emotions earlier, and learn to tolerate and regulate emotions under the demonstration and guidance of their parents. In their daily work and life, they can not only maintain emotional stability, but also look at their negative emotions positively. Therefore, they are veryGood at self-regulation。

3

Raise children in wealth or in poverty? Let children be children

The "rich" in spiritual enrichment is not the "rich" of wealthy, but the "rich" of abundant.

In the movie "Catching Dolls", Ma Chenggang spent several million to send his eldest son to study in the United States, but his eldest son was not a successful person. And his younger son Ma Jiye grew up in an environment of doting, being served by a dozen nannies and carefully fed by his grandparents. Both children did not receive spiritual enrichment.

The growth of a child will not be shortened by the amount of money, and it needs to be completed step by step.A rich spiritual world will make every step a child takes solid and powerful, and enable the child to better face every failure and setback in his or her growth.

So, how should parents nourish their children spiritually?

Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski believes that if a child does not receive care and support from his parents, he may face psychological death, that is, self-disintegration, experience negative emotions such as anxiety and pain, and even self-destructive behaviors such as self-abandonment.

For parents,The best spiritual enrichment is to give children unconditional love firstIf parents only praise and care for their children when they do well, and are indifferent or even blame them when they do not do well enough,Will give children a belief that parental love is conditional.

Children who grow up like this will more likely blame themselves in the future because of overly high standards and imperfect performance, and it will be difficult for them to establish a positive self-awareness.

The second thing is to respect children, understand them, and let them be children.

Every episode of the documentary "Did You Hear That?" breaks the defenses of many parents. The most important thing is to tell parents,When children are given the right to express themselves, they can truly feel the energy emanating from their little bodies, their understanding of the world, their feelings about their parents, and their unconditional love for their parents.

Children who grow up with spiritual enrichment,Can be whatever they want to be,No matter what they look like, they are passionate about life and curious about life.

but,Not all children have the opportunity to grow up spiritually rich. Even if we are raised in poverty, it is not bad. We still have a long life. We can still save ourselves and "enrich" ourselves from now on.。

For example, try to re-examine your past misconceptions and refute them, changing from "I shouldn't spend hundreds of dollars to listen to a concert, isn't this a waste?" to "I deserve to enjoy life with the money I earn!"

For example, you can formalize your needs and respond to them well, changing from "I can't stop, I should persist!" to "I'm a little tired, I should relax myself, the world will still turn without me!"

For example, take the initiative to break stereotypes and follow your heart, changing from "Should I take the initiative to pursue the opposite sex? What if the other party looks down on me?" to "I must be with the person I really like, even if I get hurt, I can start over!"

Ma Jiye in "Catching Dolls" finally chose to follow his inner passion and was admitted to the sports university of his dreams. He finally returned to his own track in life.

Let the children be themselves, let yourself be yourself, strip away the so-called requirements and standards, and the answer to “who am I” will gradually become clear.

References:

[1] Guokr Children's Academy: The "spiritual enrichment" that 300 million people envy is definitely not as simple as having money!

[2] Sina.com: The family was poor, but the mother insisted on raising her child in a wealthy way. Twenty years later, the child's vision and perspective were clearly different.

[3] The wheat is ripe: The emojis of three Hong Kong primary school students went viral, and their parents burst into tears while laughing

[4] Red Star News: I don’t like being called “Maybach Prince”! Zhu Bingren’s grandson scored 700 points in the college entrance examination and aims to study at Peking University