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author: ah he

producer: ai luo

the marriage between middle-aged male stars and internet celebrities has almost become a new trend in the love and marriage circles in recent years. in the past, aaron kwok and fang yuan, will pan and xuan yun sparked heated discussions about the "socialite" training class, and recently huang xiaoming's domineering confession of love for ye ke attracted the attention of the entire network.

on september 19, huang xiaoming posted a blog post saying, "sorry for occupying public resources, stop guessing, we are together", refuting the false news from taiwanese media that "huang xiaoming is not married", and announced his relationship with internet celebrity ye ke, leaving a new quote from a domineering boss: "don't do it, i'll do it". for a while, everyone was talking about it, and even because ye ke and angelababy are similar in appearance and temperament, they were teased as "wan wan lei qing". ye ke's series of actions such as her bestie's revelations and sharing of chat records were also teased by netizens as "forcing marriage".

huang xiaoming officially announces his relationship 

although netizens are generally not optimistic about the marriage combination of "male celebrities and internet celebrities", there are more profound hidden clues behind its becoming a popular trend:the criteria for judging online celebrity wives are not in the hands of the netizens, but are determined by the attitudes of the male celebrities involved. the underlying logic implies a sense of male chauvinism, and the objective advantages will make male celebrities invincible in public opinion.

in a sense, understanding the mate selection habits of "male celebrities looking for internet celebrities" can help us understand the current views of men and women on marriage and love:this is about human nature, about class advancement, and more about the game of marriage and love. it is a low-risk choice after weighing the pros and cons.

huang xiaoming and ye ke (data map) 

after the official announcement, the pressure was on the woman, and the internet celebrity sisters-in-law were dragged onto the pk stage

after huang xiaoming officially announced his relationship, the public opinion has been focused on ye ke: some people think that she is scheming and can manipulate huang xiaoming; some people say that she has low emotional intelligence and "forced" huang xiaoming to make the official announcement; some people started to expose her past, accusing her of "remarrying and raising a child" and having "plastic surgery" scandals; some people put her together with huang xiaoming's ex-wife angelababy, teasing huang xiaoming for "consumption downgrade"...

coincidentally, huang xuan also recently released a photo of himself and his amateur girlfriend. as a result, many netizens intentionally or unintentionally compared their partners, emphasizing that huang xuan has normal aesthetics and "finally no longer has an internet celebrity face."

netizens commented on huang xuan's girlfriend 

this comparison mainly comes from netizens' rebellious psychology towards "male stars dating internet celebrities": on the one hand, fans have high expectations for their idols' spouses, and feel that internet celebrity sisters-in-law do not match their idols in terms of knowledge, beauty, conversation, reputation, and qualifications; on the other hand, an internet celebrity marrying a male star is equivalent to a class leap, and will bring herself traffic and value through the identity of "the king's wife". this feeling of "reaching the sky in one step" is bound to make people jealous or envious.

putting aside the early "male stars marrying young models", the earliest "male stars marrying internet celebrities" can be traced back toaaron kwok——announced in 2015 with internet celebritiesfang yuanfang yuan is from anhui province and comes from an ordinary family. she participated in the "beach babe contest" in shanghai and won the championship because of her outstanding figure. later, she participated in a popular dating show under the pseudonym "alice".

after aaron kwok, the second person who became famous for his "internet celebrity love" iswill panin july 2020, pan weibo suddenly announced his marriage on social media, and held a wedding ceremony in bali on november 28 three years later. his wifexuan yunit is reported that she was a flight attendant of shanghai eastern airlines and graduated from nanjing zhengde college.

during the marriage of aaron kwok and will pan, wang sicong, a frequent commentator in the entertainment circle, seemed to have made two intriguing revelations: the first time was when aaron kwok officially announced his relationship, and a post on wang sicong's wechat moments that read "hong kong and taiwan stars are still easy to fool" was exposed; the second time was after will pan announced his marriage, and a post on his wechat moments that read "sister amy is still amazing. she has two great generals around her. one married the king of pop aaron kwok, and the other married will pan. she is so powerful."

wang sicong's circle of friends 

wang sicong's remarks sparked a rush of attention from netizens, especially the latter who broke the news of the "superstar's wife training class". according to the groundless revelations, this training class can be called a modern version of "yangzhou skinny horses". the tvb drama "come home love" once implied this rumor in the plot: the internet celebrities who joined the training class all have big eyes, pointed faces, and small mouths. when they have nothing to do, they post photos of eating, drinking and having fun, or occasionally post some pretentious literary posts; not only that, they also want to create a "white, rich and beautiful" persona for themselves, live a refined and high-end life, rent branded bags to create their persona in turn, and go to star-rated hotels to punch in for afternoon tea. they also post on wechat moments to show off their cooking skills and show off their "good wives and good mothers"...

"come home love" mocks "superstar wife training class"

the "training class for superstars' wives" was very popular until the rumored "sister amy" personally stepped out and pointed out the key point: "if you can marry a superstar simply by running a training class, do you think those superstars are fools?" - she was still trying to relieve the worries of the "superstars", while the "superstars' wives" could only get a painless clarification from the side.

in the past few years, while male celebrities have been mocked for their poor taste, it is the women who have been subjected to the stormy scrutiny. not only have their privacy been exposed, but they have also been criticized from head to toe by the public. female internet celebrities who choose to face the storm, or even stir up trouble themselves, need to bear all the risks and benefits themselves.

behind such an unequal relationship, it is nothing more than the result of a marriage game, where each party gets what it needs. netizens do not need to overly blame the internet celebrity sisters-in-law, nor do they need to look down on those male stars who are attracted to the gentle land.

the cruel reality of "wifey" literature: male stars are obsessed with internet celebrities because of their nature

the essence of marriage is "mutual benefit". as the poet yu xiuhua said, "the essence of any relationship between the sexes is to have a purpose." it is a common phenomenon in reality that men use their money and power to hunt and exploit women through material temptation or mental control.

after the "mutual benefit" of marriage was transplanted to the entertainment industry where private lives are magnified and publicly scrutinized, outsiders see "male celebrities marrying internet celebrities" as a "losing deal", but in fact, only they themselves understand the pros and cons. male celebrities with high traffic have only magnified this phenomenon because of their identity and status. their vision is blessed by the role filter, and thus infinitely overestimated. in fact, they are just ordinary people who need seven emotions and six desires.

the reason why young female internet celebrities become the first choice of middle-aged male stars is nothing more than "starting fromfive senses,finallythree views, plusweighing the pros and cons". a big part of the reason why male celebrities look for female internet celebrities is because they are young and beautiful. there is generally a big age difference between male celebrities and their internet celebrity wives: aaron kwok is 22 years older than fang yuan, and pan weibo is 13 years older than xuan yun.raymond lam11 years older than zhang xinyue,huang xiaoming16 years older than ye ke...

raymond lam and zhang xinyue 

young girls can become internet celebrities because they have decent looks. big eyes, big breasts, long hair, thin waists, and long legs are almost standard. they are willing to turn themselves into sexual fantasy objects full of male gaze, which is the so-called "straight male aesthetic." the more symbolic women are, the more direct their "impact" is, the more they can arouse men's possessiveness and bring them the pleasure of looking up to them.

however, netizens overwhelmingly dislike internet celebrities. this dislike is divided into two steps: on the one hand, it is a moral dislike, believing that they are "self-degrading" by subconsciously trying to please and cling to men; on the other hand, it is an aesthetic dislike, believing that the "internet celebrity face" has become mainstream and that aesthetics has declined, and that internet celebrities are often accompanied by appearance controversies such as fillers and plastic surgery.

however, what netizens care about is not what men care about. female internet celebrities are as beautiful as female stars, and as for whether they have had plastic surgery or not, as long as they are beautiful, who cares what their "factory configuration" is?

xuan yun's "staged" photos on social media 

in addition,three viewsin terms of online dating, female internet celebrities and male stars can also match. internet celebrities and stars are connected to each other, and both sides are gatsby's gardens, and they are familiar with the flow of traffic. the public always thinks that male stars can meet many female stars and have a wide range of choices, but they don't know that in terms of marriage and love, their choices may not be more than ordinary people in the city. once they choose to marry someone in the same industry, they will have to face complex problems such as "retirement" and "who will take care of the family" in the future, which is very annoying.

in fact, "a wife, children, and a warm bed" is always a man's beautiful vision of a happy life, and male celebrities are no exception, so they would rather "downwardly compatible" and choose to marry female internet celebrities who are closer to the family. and many female internet celebrities are also happy to become wealthy ladies after getting married and having children. in addition to taking care of the children, they also do fitness, planting grass, beauty, skin care... and do side jobs in their spare time, which not only makes them look ambitious, but also does not overwork and affect the family.

in addition, some male stars have strongbe on guard, they have no interest in "equal love". at work, many artists would rather be unprofessional than choose "home workshops", out of the principle that the protection of property can only be given to blood relations. in life, every bit of privacy and preferences, the true performance of daily life cannot be controlled by the other half. in the current public opinion field where chatting and recording can bring down a person's house, it is more difficult than climbing to the sky to build trust.

andfemale internet celebrities, who are naturally at a disadvantage in the public opinion field, provide male stars with a sense of security, even if the marriage breaks down one day, the male star can still rely on this inequality to remain invincible. if the male star pays money and reputation in the marriage and love disputes with the female internet celebrities, then the female internet celebrities pay naked self-esteem. in the tv series "nothing but thirty", wang manni refused to become liang zhengxian's mistress because she had a strong self-esteem. once a woman decides to position herself on the track of "gold diggers", her dreams and will will be shattered.

"the gift that fate gives you has already been secretly marked with a price." an unequal marriage is a gamble, and no one can predict the final outcome.

wang manni refuses to be a mistress in "nothing but thirty" 

however,an equal marriage and love relationship is destined to be the goal that people pursue.perhaps because of this, female internet celebrities are increasingly keen on balancing their careers before and after marriage, and are moving towards becoming strong women: fang yuan actively operates on social media while appearing on the variety show "tonight open mic" to show her style and make a lot of money for milk powder; before sen linbei's identity as "wang feng's girlfriend" was exposed, she was engaged in the homestay cultural tourism industry and was the co-founder of a homestay in xinjiang. she also served as the "deputy secretary-general of the local tourism association" and "vice president of the self-driving tour association"...

the "lovely wife" narrative has carried a distinct derogatory connotation as concepts have changed. for example, idol dramas have been featuring female protagonists for many years, and even short dramas in the lower-tier markets require the thrill of defeating monsters and upgrading. the rise of "wanxue" following the downfall of internet celebrity wanwan is largely due to people's disgust with the same type of lovely wife.

suffering in silence and quitting their jobs will not bring greater benefits to female internet celebrities. they are increasingly aware that relationships mixed with conflicts of interest are unreliable. the moment they lose their men, they will also lose their jobs and backers. only by working hard to gain a foothold with their own hands can they truly have the confidence to say "no".

falling into the trap and being ridiculed by the crowd, the real "downward compatibility" is a regression in the concept of marriage and love

marina edelweiss said in the book love market: men tend to choose young women when they cheat, while women prefer to have relationships with highly educated men. this sentence reveals the different views on mate selection between the two sexes. the same is true in the marriage market. female doctors and female bosses often find it difficult to find a partner of the opposite sex who matches them, because the opposite sex who matches them often "doesn't have the same intentions." this is why,many fans have come to the conclusion after careful reflection that the best destination for female stars is to be single, and the best destination for male stars is to be internet celebrities.

many male stars have strong male chauvinism, and this tendency of consciousness even bridges the "north-south gap". for example, aaron kwok, who is far away in hong kong, once said the shocking quote "whether a shoe fits or not, only you know it", comparing women to "shoes" and "shoes" that you have worn, which shocked the public. huang xiaoming, a shandong man, also revealed his true feelings to the media, saying that he doesn't like girls who are stronger than him, and he would feel uncomfortable if the other party is much stronger than him. the logic behind this is that once a woman is stronger than him and has a higher status than him, as a man, he feels challenged and cannot completely control the other party.

huang xiaoming said that it is difficult for him to accept that the other person is better than him 

male celebrities unconsciously put their preferences above women, and many spectators in the domestic entertainment industry also unconsciously follow this logic.people's impression of internet celebrity sisters-in-law begins with the protection and pampering of male stars for them.they were belittled and praised, all of them were helpless. today, they were disliked by everyone, but tomorrow, they could be praised by everyone. for example, after pan weibo officially announced his marriage, netizens speculated that "the two were contractual couples who were not familiar with each other" based on signs that the two were not intimate enough when traveling and pan weibo did not protect xuan yun enough, and there were rumors that the two were divorced. it was not until three years later that pan weibo held a grand wedding for xuan yun to "rectify his name" that online public opinion began to envy xuan yun one-sidedly, saying that she "married well."

will pan and xuan yun hold wedding ceremony in bali 

in addition, it is common for women to be "femaleized" and "objectified". jay chou's ex-girlfriend is patty hou, a well-known taiwanese hostess with a good image and temperament, and she has a lot of personal charm. jay chou once boldly confessed his love for her, took the initiative to ask to appear on her show, wrote songs for her, and gave her various gifts. but after falling in love with kunling, jay chou's behavior was completely opposite, and he even denied their relationship for a time. so much so that for many years afterwards, the media and netizens have been comparing kunling with patty hou.

ye ke's current situation is similar. after huang xiaoming's official announcement, many people compared him with angelababy, teasing huang xiaoming for "downgrading resources" and "not drinking starbucks, drinking mixue bingcheng instead". the subtext is that they think his "new love is not as good as the old love" and feel that he is not worth it. this kind of "beauty comparison" is actually a kind of resource value ranking, linking male spouses with cars, watches and other items, and treating them as a kind of "pendant" to show off their status - whether they can be taken out with face. if the choice of spouse is "new is not as good as the old", it will be disgraceful.

netizens commented on huang xiaoming's official announcement of his relationship with ye ke 

this public opinion seems to be in a different world from the current public entertainment view that criticizes the "lovely wives" in film and television works. literary and artistic works are moving forward in great strides, fearing to offend female audiences, while in reality, real stories about lovely wives are still being staged every day.on one side is the fantasy narrative, and on the other side is the naked reality. the split evaluation shatters the lie of the status quo, and we are still far away from a "equally matched" relationship between the sexes.

what needs more attention is thatthese evaluations and their judging criteria are naturally legitimate, and the public is more likely to inherently identify with the side of male celebrities with higher fame and status, and fall into a hidden "gender trap."it’s obviously 2024, and feminism has become a fashion item for female stars, but people can openly look at women with outdated eyes in discussions about male stars and female internet celebrities, judging women’s appearance and behavior from a male perspective regardless of gender. isn’t this another “downward compatible” marriage choice?

true backward compatibility may not be about male stars marrying internet celebrities, but about adhering to the abandoned misplaced ideas and pulling awakened women back into the iron house.

if one day, we can abandon gender traps and stop looking at women from a man's perspective, will we be less mocking and malicious? as elena ferrante said in "a nasty woman": because of my own position, i am reluctant to say bad things about other women, even if she offends me and makes me unbearable. i force myself to take such a position because i know my situation as a woman very well, and i see similar situations in other women. i know that it is not easy for all women.