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author: xi si

foreigners ask, are there any places for reincarnation in china recently? some foreigners want to reincarnate in china.

they have been really hurt by the "144-hour visa-free" policy recently. social media only tells them how great it will be in the 144 hours after arriving in china. no one reminds them how difficult the countless days and nights will be after returning from china.

after returning to china, the chinese-british mixed-race kid couldn't help but break down and cry when faced with western food again: "foreign food is too bad, i want to go back to china!"

● image source: @yuri小豆豆

why do i think of chinese noodles with soybean paste when i see broccoli mixed with hummus? why do i burst into tears when i mention china?

expressing such a strong sense of homesickness, dear chinese friends, is there a possibility that we were a family in our previous life...

“i know the person who invented the 144-hour visa-free policy is a genius, but we who have experienced the 144-hour visa-free policy are now useless!”

the first batch of foreigners returning home from china have begun to experience withdrawal symptoms. they have no appetite for anything and everything tastes bland.

in the past, two slices of dry toast would be toasted, some butter would be scraped off, and a layer of ham would be placed on them. when the two slices of bread were put together, the taste enjoyment would begin, and every bite would bring great satisfaction.

● image source: photo network

after coming back from eating in china for six days, the sight of dry bread again seemed to me that when i closed two slices of bread, it was not the bread that closed, but my own coffin board. eating this meatless and juiceless white rice all day long, i felt that there was no hope in life.

the dad who just returned to sweden always asks himself when he opens his eyes every day: "when will i return to china?" but when he saw the white breakfast made by his father, he suddenly felt hungry and went back to bed like a corpse.

i dreamed at night that i was eating steamed buns and cola chicken wings in big mouthfuls. when i woke up, i felt saliva at the corners of my mouth. it was so ironic.

when your stomach has seen peking duck, spicy hot pot, pancakes, hot and sour noodles, sweet and sour pork...how can i let it go if you want me to face two slices of whole wheat bread covered with avocado?

● image source: photo network

even if i am stuffed to the point of being bloated by chinese food, i don’t want to feel relieved in front of the white fans who are eating too much.

some people are still immersed in the 144-hour dream, listening to the clock ringing in the opposite direction for the ten thousandth time, hoping to return to the first day they went to china.

some people have already started to save themselves.

the blogger's cold husband has been unable to calm down since returning to denmark. every time he calms down, the touch of the milk tea sliding across his throat seems to be vivid, and the feeling of happiness as the pieces of pancakes slowly fall into his stomach seems to have happened yesterday.

so, her husband started cooking bagged snail noodles, and they ate them for several days in a row. he even ate five or six bags of snail noodles, which was not the limit of his stomach. the main reason was that they only brought a few bags.

swedish dads have changed their breakfast to white porridge + cold dishes + fermented bean curd, and started to study roasted yellow and green peppers at noon. the simple stir-fried wild mushrooms have completely conquered the western stomach of dads.

● image source: xiaohongshu@swedish dad in dali

mira, who married to austria from guangxi, grew vegetables and cooked chinese food with her husband and parents-in-law. the whole family was mobilized to resist withdrawal.

if you have a chinese mother at home, or even a hospitable chinese neighbor who loves to cook, you have already surpassed 99.999999% of foreigners on the road to quitting eating.

the pizza and french fries made by my dad are tasteless, but the noodle soup made by my mom and topped with lao gan ma is a delicacy.

even if a classmate's mother is chinese, she can still act arrogantly in front of others.

blogger tiantian took her children back to china, and then returned to spain. it happened to be the family day event at her children's school, so they needed to bring their own meals. the children clamored for cola chicken wings and steamed buns with bean curd.

as a result, when they took it to share, all the foreign children went from frowning and asking "what is this?" to smiling harder than ak, and they all looked at tiantian's children with envy.

● image source: xiaohongshu@田田在西班牙

after returning home, friend: what are you going to do this weekend?

foreign kid belike: how do you know i ate cola chicken wings!

friend: so what are you going to do this weekend?

the foreign kid again: how do you know i also ate delicious chinese steamed buns!

if you think this is exaggerated, then you have underestimated the charm of chinese cuisine, and even more so the crazy obsession of foreigners with chinese cuisine.

we probably all agree that no matter how vigorous you are in the business world, no matter how many years you have been killing fish in rt-mart with a cold face, all the evildoers will become gentle after eating a bite of chinese food.

a netizen shared that when the boss of a french company came to dalian, the netizen thought about it and finally treated him to a meal of seafood that was unlikely to disappoint others.

the food had just been served, and the netizen wanted to take the opportunity to show off his eloquence and introduce each dish, so he cleared his throat and prepared to start talking.

as a result, the 82-year-old phlegm in his throat had not been cleared out yet, and his upper and lower teeth had not been separated yet, and a plate of clams, a plate of sea cucumbers, and a plate of scallops had all entered the french boss's stomach.

by the time the netizens started talking, their digestive systems were probably already online, ready to digest the food in their stomachs...

before paying the bill, the boss packed up four scallion pancakes and said he would eat them on the plane. there must have been a few more insomniac foreigners that day.

wai guoren, who was on the same flight with him that day, was dying at 2 or 3 in the middle of the night:so! what kind of magical food did the person sitting next to me eat today?

another korean client who was going to dalian agreed to come to work, but at the end of the day he listed the tasks he had completed: yesterday's seafood, last night's barbecue, and midnight ramen.

the boss ate to his heart's content and boasted about the meal when he returned to korea. as a result, the following year, a company delegation came to dalian at their own expense to eat for three days, and they had four meals a day, if not five.

it takes 7 dragon balls to summon a dragon, and to summon 8 masters you only need 8 foreigners to order 8 roast ducks.

if you happen to see a few white people outside ordering a plate of fried rice each and eating it with their heads clattered, and there is no dish on the turntable, please do not be overly sympathetic and think that they don't know there are better chinese dishes and kindly go up to help them order.

because a small action of yours may cause them to break down: you say, is there anything more delicious than this? then what is the point of eating carrots and hummus for more than 20 years?

seeing them eating 27 chicken legs, 23 steamed dumplings and a bowl of wontons at one time, and one person devouring a 30-pound roasted whole lamb (without the hind legs)... the right thing to do is to quietly hand them a box of jiangzhong jianwei xiaoshi tablets.

otherwise, if you indulge in pork elbows and meat dumplings, at best you will end up in the toilet, at worst you will have to go to the hospital.

chinese food can also cure all kinds of dissatisfactions. no matter you are someone who never touches internal organs, or you are a picky eater or have anorexia, once you have tried chinese food, don't even think about leaving with an empty stomach.

mira from guangxi roasted chicken gizzards for his austrian neighbor. he took a bite and said: what is this (chew chew chew) it doesn’t taste good (chew chew chew) it really doesn’t taste good (chew chew chew, took another bite).

my german brother-in-law, who has always claimed to be an environmentalist, has long vowed never to eat any animal meat. however, he ends up enjoying braised lion's head, grilled lamb skewers, and stir-fried liver tips in china.

it’s not that we are not environmentally friendly, it’s that we have to be full before we have the energy to continue to be environmentally friendly.

chinese food is very effective in curing anorexia. a russian girl who had suffered from anorexia for many years was cured after traveling to chongqing and sichuan.

this irish lady fell in love with sichuan sesame cakes as soon as she came to china. how much did she love it? she could eat it for the rest of her life.

● image credit: @two mad explorers

when li shizhen came, he had to copy the food recipes of chongqing and sichuan, study them for ten years or so, and write them into the "compendium of materia medica".

in fact, foreigners’ attitude towards chinese food has not always been like this. some people think that chinese food is too greasy and bad for health, and that delicious white food is the real deal.

the new york times once selected the top ten most disgusting foods in the world, with chinese preserved eggs ranking first.

in 2002, the british daily mirror publicly criticized: chinese food is the most deceptive food in the world.

a french michelin chef even made disrespectful remarks about chinese food, saying that chinese restaurants are dirty and messy, and the quality of the chinese food they serve cannot be high.

in the first season of "ugly food", some foreigners said that they would feel a strong sense of discomfort whenever they passed by a chinese restaurant. they also began to criticize msg. some suffered from headaches and dry mouths after eating msg, while others experienced numbness in their jaws and brain shrinkage.

● image source: ugly food

msg: why didn’t you tell me earlier? if i had been there for the war, i would have been enough to deal with you!

in the eyes of most foreigners, the chinese were starving in the past, but now they dare to eat all kinds of strange things.

however, as china continues to grow stronger, more and more people are willing to put aside their prejudices and try chinese food. some people even visit and conduct research, and write books to justify the reputation of chinese food.

like fuchsia dunlop, a native british person who has been obsessed with chinese food for 30 years, she has tried all the street restaurants in china and wrote down what she saw and heard in books such as "shark fin and sichuan pepper", "flavorful things" and "your lucky food", allowing foreigners to re-understand chinese food.

● fuchsia dunlop learns to cook in a chinese restaurant

many foreigners also took the initiative to "admit their mistakes". samantha simmonds, a british-singaporean chinese, once went to a chinese restaurant with her good friends and had a seven-course meal. two hours later, when they walked out of the restaurant, they suddenly felt dizzy.

at the moment, they tacitly believed that the tremors and dizziness were caused by eating too much msg. a long time later, samantha had to admit that they might have just eaten too much.

there is deliberate discrimination, arrogance and deep-rooted misunderstandings.

someone once joked that the most authentic chinese food in a foreign country is not in chinatown, but in the dormitories of chinese students.

nowadays, most of the chinese restaurants opened abroad do not serve authentic chinese food.

veteran media person cai hui once interviewed the owner of a chinese restaurant. he said that it takes less than half an hour to train a chinese chef.

what can you learn in half an hour? not to mention the eight major cuisines, there are no less than 20 ways to stir-fry chinese food. half an hour is less than one ten-thousandth of the knowledge you can learn about chinese food.

therefore, only learning about chinese food in chinese restaurants abroad is like going abroad to learn chinese, which is pure waste of time.

● a 99-yuan “beef and tofu rice bowl” at a chinese restaurant in new york

now, with the accelerated development of the times, information barriers have been weakened a lot, and there are more channels for communication between countries. the 144-hour visa-free policy has played a good exemplary role.

it is not difficult to try authentic chinese food yourself. there is no legitimate reason to question chinese food, and foreign countries are also silently accepting the infiltration of chinese food culture.

for example, japan, which is full of die-hard fans of sichuan cuisine, has its own sichuan cuisine alliance. the sichuan cuisine festival it organizes every year attracts up to 400,000 people.

in the japanese anime "assassination classroom", mr. koro had to travel underground from japan to sichuan during the break just to have a bite of mapo tofu.

● image source: assassination classroom

now, there are endless videos about "foreigners liking to eat chinese food", and some chinese people have come out to debunk these claims: only chinese people eat all day long, while foreigners have long gone a step further and pay attention to healthy eating. what's so great about chinese food?

the reason why chinese food is so popular nowadays is not only because of the long-standing food culture behind it, but also because it allows everyone to see how important eating is in everyone's life.

the chinese way of dealing with things is very simple. no matter how big the problem is, even if the sky is falling, you must eat a good meal first.

therefore, many restaurants now provide a free meal to people in need. many people, regardless of whether they know you or not, will take your bowl and chopsticks and ask if you want to eat with them as long as you haven't eaten by the time.

● image source: chao news

they don’t know what happened to you today, they just hope that this bowl of rice can give you the motivation to start your life again.

food is comfort and a refuge for human beings. it is precisely because of this deep understanding that the chinese are willing to continue to delve into what they eat. every food has echoes of history, and every dish reverberates with the collision of chinese people’s wisdom.

the world outside is a mess, but we still have to eat on time. the world is big, but eating is the most important thing.

● references

[1] visual journal: the first batch of foreigners who came to china without a visa can no longer eat white food

[2] chao news | you can eat for free by giving the “secret code”, this chongqing noodle restaurant in hangzhou is serious about it!