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after sending their son to beijing university of aeronautics and astronautics, liu jianbo and his wife suddenly felt empty. their son used to be the center of the family, but now that he is gone, they are having trouble adapting.

in the past five years, liu jianbo from xining city, qinghai province, accompanied his son from junior high school to high school, and then the father and son took the college entrance examination together. his son liu aohan was admitted to the beijing university of aeronautics and astronautics for undergraduate and doctoral studies, and liu jianbo also passed the first-tier line and was admitted to guangxi normal university. the "study master father and son" became a good story and attracted widespread attention.

▲liu jianbo and his son received the university admission letter together

during the three years of high school, the family of three rented a house near their son's school in the west of xining. now that his son has been admitted to university, liu jianbo and his wife moved back to their own house in mid-july. it is much closer to work, and their pace of life has relaxed.

in the wechat group of the family of three, the wife would remind her son every day to take some videos of school and daily life, but her son only posted twice a week. his wife was a little sad, and he was also a little disappointed, but he didn't show it like his wife did.

liu jianbo thought that his son was more adaptable to the new life than he and his wife. in fact, he also wanted to go to college and even thought about quitting his job to go to college, but was dissuaded by everyone around him. his wife, friends, and company leaders all advised him to be realistic. after much hesitation, liu jianbo chose to give up, but his "college dream" was still there.

after sending my son to college

relax your pace of life

he and his wife felt empty inside.

on august 25, liu jianbo and his family of three arrived in beijing, and the next day his son went to beijing university of aeronautics and astronautics to register. liu jianbo was highly regarded for "being admitted to the university together with his son". the school's main leaders came to visit him in his dormitory, bringing several media. after the excitement, the couple was more reluctant to let their child go.

his son liu aohan was only excited and "can't wait" for the upcoming college life. liu jianbo said that in the dormitory, he and his wife helped his son make the bed, and his son grabbed the quilt and solemnly told them "i can do it myself."

on the university campus, liu jianbo also ran into a classmate from his technical secondary school days in tianjin. more than 20 years ago, they lived in the same dormitory, with upper and lower bunks. the classmate's daughter was admitted to the beijing university of aeronautics and astronautics, studying the same major as his son liu aohan. the two old classmates had not been in touch for many years, and the other party also learned about his experience from news reports.

▲the university admission letters received by liu jianbo and his son

on august 27, liu jianbo and his wife wanted to go to school to accompany their son, have a meal in the cafeteria, and walk around the campus. but his wife said, forget it, don't bother the child. so the couple asked an old classmate to have dinner together, and the old classmate readily agreed. after sending his daughter to school, the old classmate suddenly had "nothing to do".

during his three years in high school, the family rented a house near the middle school where his son was studying. xining is a city built along the huangshui river. liu jianbo's company is in the east of the city. it is 16 kilometers from his rental house in the west of the city to the company, and it takes more than an hour to take the bus to work. his son studied very hard in high school, and liu jianbo also worked hard. on the bus every day, he would wear headphones to learn english.

after the college entrance examination, in mid-july, liu jianbo and his wife moved back to their house in the center of xining, only four or five kilometers away from the company. he left home at 7:20 in the morning and ran to work, running at a pace of 5 minutes per kilometer, which only took 22 minutes. he ran 3 kilometers east along xiadu avenue and then turned left onto delingha road. there were not many pedestrians on the street, the air was dry, and the sun was rising, the sunlight was warm and golden.

liu jianbo, who will be 48 next week, began to feel that life had entered a new stage. his son was in college, and his life should return to his own rhythm. he wrote a long letter to his son, expressing his gratitude to him - his son made him proud, and he also had a memory of accompanying his son's growth. finally, he sent his son a message that "after completing his studies, you are still as young as a teenager", and warned his son to maintain self-discipline in college.

liu jianbo said that after his son went to college, it was actually his wife who was more uncomfortable. his wife worked in the same company as him, was three years older than him, and is now retired. although the company has a cafeteria, he still walks home for lunch at noon, because he said his wife can't cook properly when she's alone at home.

in the wechat group of the family of three, the wife would send messages every day to remind her son to take some videos of school and life scenes, but her son only sent them twice in a week. his wife was a little sad, and he was also a little disappointed, but he didn't show it like his wife did.

give up going to college

i once thought about resigning and consulted the school

“everyone advised me to be realistic”

liu jianbo wanted to go to college, and he thought it was a rare opportunity in his life to work hard for himself. after the college entrance examination results came out, he applied to the company for unpaid leave to study, but according to the company's rules and regulations, the application was ultimately rejected. he did not give up, and in early august he took the opportunity of a business trip to beijing to talk to the head office about his ideas, but still failed to get his wish.

liu jianbo has worked in a large state-owned company for more than 20 years and has held a middle-level position in the xining branch. he said that when he was young, he worked very hard and obtained his current position with solid professional skills and business capabilities, but as he got older, he felt that he was increasingly unable to adapt and a sense of powerlessness followed.

he said that wanting to take the college entrance examination to study was also a kind of "resistance" to the current situation. he told the company that he could give up his current position, keep the most basic work file, and continue to work after returning from school, but the company still could not find matching rules and regulations.

he also thought about quitting his job to study, but was dissuaded by everyone around him. his wife, friends, and company leaders all advised him to "be realistic." he himself was also hesitant. if he gave up his job to study, there would be some risks in supporting his son's studies.

liu jianbo said that he had some savings and could make ends meet if he quit his job to study, but he still didn't dare to take risks. he had obtained a driver's license a long time ago, but he still hadn't bought a car because he felt that cars were not very necessary in life. even though his relatives and friends had bought cars, he still insisted on his point of view. when he went out to play with friends by car, he was always happy to act as the "logistics minister". he was very careful in planning along the way, booking hotels, and preparing various items.

people around him have long been accustomed to his lifestyle and will not raise any different opinions with him. his wife has never had any disagreements with him on material needs. he said that he and his wife both lead a relatively "simple" life.

after failing to apply for university admission through the company, liu jianbo tried to seek a solution at guangxi normal university. in mid-august, he went to guilin with his wife and son, and consulted guangxi normal university about whether he could take the exam during holidays and complete the university credits through self-study. however, his idea was rejected, as the school said it did not meet the requirements for full-time study.

later, liu jianbo took his wife and children on a tour of guangxi normal university and took many photos in the teaching building and library.

▲liu jianbo and his son took a photo at the gate of guangxi normal university

in an essay, liu jianbo wrote, "we only have one life, and i hope that life is a wilderness rather than a track." but for now, he chooses to temporarily follow inertia in his own track.

the “college dream” is still there

i will pick up a pen and write in the future

i plan to study for the college entrance examination after retirement.

liu jianbo likes literature and writing. he has read many books and often quotes from classics in conversation. he also has the habit of writing essays.

he said that accompanying his children to study for a few years without any hardship was a brand new experience in life; his own concepts and horizons were also broadened as a result, and life would surely enter a new stage.

but he still couldn't help feeling sad that he could no longer guide his son. his 18-year-old son still had a long life ahead of him and a broad road ahead that he could not understand from his life experience. he himself was almost 48 years old, and he felt sad that "life was short."

liu jianbo is happy to talk about his "sorrow". he believes that he has a kind of idealism and is unwilling to compromise with reality and society. he looks calm on the outside, but he is stubborn on the inside. he said in a philosopher's tone, "it is difficult to live out our own lives, but i want to live once."

▲liu jianbo took a photo on the campus of guangxi normal university

liu jianbo became a "father who accompanies his son to study". he started out by studying to set an example for his son, but soon he started studying "for himself". in fact, in his early years, he ranked first in the middle school entrance examination in huangnan prefecture, qinghai, but due to the family's financial conditions at the time, he could only choose to study in a technical secondary school. not going to university has been his regret for many years.

"yes, now i can live for myself." liu jianbo said that the dream of writing has been buried in his heart for many years. it was thrown into a dark room and covered with dust. now he has the time and determination to polish this dream again; perhaps the quality of what he writes is not high, but he can just regard it as a kind of "self-awakening."

however, his "university dream" is still there. he said that he will retire in 8 years, which is exactly the time it takes for his son to complete his studies. at that time, he will spend another three years preparing for the exam, and if he passes the exam, he will go to school with ease. at that time, there will be no more difficult choices.

red star news reporter yang ling photo according to the interviewee