text/xia song

editor/yan ruyi

it’s hard to believe that my mood at work these past two days is this emoticon:

the 7-week, nearly 50-day summer vacation is finally over! ! !

it is difficult for people who do not work to understand my joy.

for an ordinary worker, summer vacation means "a cruel summer without any holidays". for a worker in beijing, summer vacation means "unsqueezable subways", "unreachable tsinghua university and peking university", "crowded forbidden city, national museum, and summer palace"...

and through the collection of information about summer vacation expenses a few days ago, i found that the hardships i experienced this summer were nothing.

for an ordinary middle-aged person with a job, the summer vacation is more difficult than the new year.

although the amount of money spent on money-shredding machines varies, everyone suffered a lot during the summer vacation.

summer vacation, a triathlon for parents across the country

when does summer vacation start? that is a question.

but what is certain is that it is definitely not the day when the school officially closes.

generally speaking, training institutions will start to prepare for the upcoming holidays from the end of may, and try to gain a place in the parents' phone records. parents will start to get anxious in june, preparing for the annual summer tutoring classes as if they were preparing for the double 11 shopping festival:

choose subjects, screen tuition classes, communicate with your children, and explode.

join multiple parent groups to compare prices and exchange information.

after get off work, i open excel and organize a summer schedule for my child.

the last school bell rang, and tens of thousands of yuan left wechat. watching the children running out of the school gate with joy, i fell into a deeper midlife crisis:

who am i? who is this kid? where is my salary?

this is summer vacation, a big consumption festival that not only tests parents’ financial strength, but also their brainpower and energy.

of course, friends who have never had children will have a strong sense of justice when they see this: "why do we have to send children to cram schools? why can't we give our children a happy childhood?"

hearing these words, the old mother shed tears of envy, forbearance and greatness.

once you have a child, you will say goodbye to emotional stability for the rest of your life.：

"on the first day of the holiday, the mother and son were loving and filial. on the fifth day, i could only repeat three sentences: 'do you want to eat?' 'can you do your homework?' 'stop watching tv!' if i don't go to cram school, i will have to play doubles! if i don't give my children a happy summer vacation, i will have to go to a mental hospital."

whether the summer expenses are 8,000 or 80,000, everyone has a basic package: cram school + travel.

the purpose of the two basic tasks is basically "to enable children to learn something", but looking back at the end of summer vacation, it is hard to say whether the children have learned anything, because the parents have actually participated in the "triathlon" for two months.

delivered at 8 am, picked up at 12 noon, sent to interest class at 1 pm, and went to swimming lessons at 3 pm. i thought i would save trouble by spending money, but it turned out that i was busier than the delivery guy.

the point is that even with all this, many life problems are still unsolved. "is there any teacher who can develop a homework class? the difficulty of doing homework during the summer vacation is really hellish! normally, i can get angry in one night, but during the summer vacation, i have to accompany my child to study 24 hours a day and get angry 24 hours a day.

i have to write an essay to help my mom clean the house, take photos and punch in when i skip rope, and make handwritten newspapers one after another. writing an english essay is harder than giving birth to a child! let school start soon! destroy it! "

"i have to take a deep breath every time i enter the house. my child's father asked to go on a business trip, and my child was about to cry when faced with a pile of homework. during the two-month summer vacation, each of our family of three must have a belief to survive."

the cost of tutoring classes can be fixed and can be borne by the individual, but there is no upper limit on the cost of travel.

even if you are just traveling domestically, the transportation costs are not cheap, whether you drive, take the high-speed train or fly. moreover, the prices of air tickets and hotels have all increased. hotels that normally cost a few hundred yuan will cost thousands of yuan during the summer vacation. the most annoying thing is that you can't even buy tickets for many attractions...

@middle-aged mother said that the experience of going to beijing this summer vacation was the most terrifying trip in her life.

more than 5 hours of high-speed rail, nearly 3,000 yuan of accommodation, tickets that could not be reserved, and the crowds of people packed into each attraction, all loomed before my eyes like a nightmare.

"every air-conditioned place is packed with people who are about to get heat stroke, and there are long queues at every tourist attraction. what's even more infuriating is that you think as long as the children can experience the local customs and culture, they will endure the hardship, but in the end, all they think about is sausages and ice cream."

never underestimate a child's ability to annoy you, and never doubt a parent's determination to save money.

after squandering 20,000 yuan last year, @candy found a new way this year that saves money, saves worry and allows for fun - taking her 4-year-old child back to her hometown to attend cram school.

"english is 1,500 yuan per month, math is 2,000 yuan per month, dance lessons in beijing cost hundreds of yuan per session, but in my hometown they cost 40 yuan, and swimming lessons cost 80 yuan per session... if you can stay for two or three months, the price can actually go down further.

at 8,000 yuan a month, this small local training class has no risk of running away, and parents can help take care of the children. it is a perfect experience, and i sincerely recommend it to everyone!”

behind the summer bills, parents are full of anxiety

there’s no sign of the beginning of summer vacation, and what’s even more frustrating is that there’s no sign of its end either.

a few years ago, there was a series called “the scariest summer vacation” on social platforms: a bunch of experts and teachers who came from nowhere told parents earnestly “how terrible the summer vacation is for each grade.”

according to incomplete statistics, there has been no terrible summer vacation for children since the first grade.

but looking at it again this year, this series is still not comprehensive enough and it misses the kindergarten stage.

mr. an from jinan has a child who is less than 5 years old. he started taking english classes when he was in kindergarten. this year, he spent nearly 5,000 yuan to enroll his child in a summer care class. "in jinan, the city is too competitive now. it's really helpless that such a young child has to learn to read and count."

and a year later, there was another hurdle waiting for @mr. an:transition from kindergarten to primary school.

@mingming's daughter is going to primary school this year. she is attending pinyin and mathematical olympiad classes. in addition, the mother and daughter have also participated in pre-primary school transition training. "each school has its own characteristics. some schools have traditional strengths such as chinese and mathematics, while some schools pay more attention to the development of comprehensive qualities. the exam content is completely different. my child doesn't know anything now, so i have to learn and give back to her."

unlike winter vacation, as a key time for further studies, summer vacation is given a very important meaning of "changing fate".

from "getting ahead of others with one training session" to "you will fall behind if you don't participate", the training institutions' rhetoric has evolved, and parents' anxiety has naturally reached the next level.

summer vacation has become a hot time for intensive training courses. mathematical olympiad classes, university research groups, summer camps... the places for these three intensive training courses are very tight. if you hesitate for a moment, you will lose the opportunity to spend money.

but for the vast majority of parents, it is just spending money to buy a sense of security.

@许小猪 provided us with a child's perspective. she was once a money-shredder. her parents spent nearly 20,000 yuan to enroll her in new concept mathematics and mathematical olympiad courses during the summer vacation. "mathematical olympiad is the most useless course. not everyone has the ability and interest to compete in this field. if you don't like math, the experience is not good."

once something reaches the point where it is snapped up, it is hard to say whether it is useful or not. unscrupulous merchants will definitely get wind of the situation and throw countless traps and hidden dangers at innocent parents and children.

many parents rated "study tour" as the worst item during summer vacation.

parent @梁仔 held up a "run away" sign to the university study tour group, "don't sign up for a university study tour! the geographical span is too large and you will really not be able to adapt to the local climate!"

the child’s experience was also very bad. @孩儿他妈 signed up her child for a study tour in guangzhou this year, but after a week of studying at a high price, the child only had one comment: “the teacher’s travel planning is not as good as yours.”

as a beijinger, @宝木欣欣 has felt the chaos of the study tour more directly. "the children lined up in the hot sun in universities, museums and scenic spots to take photos and go to the toilet. the explanations were brief and sloppy, and the tours were cursory. as soon as there was shade, the children could not wait to play with their phones. it was really a waste of money and suffering."

among the messages we received, spending over 100,000 yuan is not an isolated case. in addition to learning, the main source of spending is also the three new worries of parents:

grow taller, straighten teeth, and prevent myopia.

it is said that eyes are the windows to the soul, but no one says that these windows are expensive. when a child says "i can't see the blackboard clearly", parents are devastated.

"although tutoring costs money, the initiative is still in our hands. once a child becomes nearsighted, the cost of raising the child will increase faster than wages."

there are ways to treat myopia, but height is more beyond our control.

for the sake of their children's physical development, many parents gave up study and sent their children to the gym. "in a gym of more than 80 square meters, children can only participate in half of it, but the training is scientific at least."

some parents put their hopes on medical treatment. "my child is 3 and a half years old. we have already spent 50,000 yuan on study tours, badminton classes, math, and english. because he needs to take growth hormone and drugs to inhibit bone development, it is estimated that he will spend another 30,000 to 50,000 yuan."

the most important thing during summer vacation is to have fun

summer vacation has become a consumption period. some people think it is "excessive anxiety", while others think it is "necessary spending".

this is not something that can be judged as right or wrong or has a correct answer.

it is difficult to appreciate the hardships of other people's lives without experiencing their lives and understanding their specific living environment.

but a closer look at parents' summer vacation bills reveals:

the vast majority of parents may be passively or actively involved, but almost every family is trying to create some happy space for their children.

@凤凰 lives in beijing. my child is going to the second year of junior high school. the summer vacation expenses are nearly 20,000 yuan, but only 200 yuan is related to study.

"summer vacation is up to you. our family of three spent 20,000 yuan, including 200 yuan for textbooks and supplementary teaching materials. my child and his friends played basketball at a paid basketball court a few times, so the total cost should be less than 1,000 yuan. the rest of the money went on a 9-day trip for our family of three. i think it was a great value."

@kk's family also enrolls their children in classes during every holiday, but they will definitely arrange for their children to learn a different sport, such as swimming, basketball, football, badminton, volleyball, etc. it is just one sport that can consume the child's physical strength and is affordable. "the most important thing is that i hope she can experience more and find a sport that she loves and can stick to for a long time. i sincerely hope that my daughter will be healthy and strong."

happiness and money are not equal. you can buy happiness with money, but a lot of happiness does not actually require spending too much money.

as a mother of two children, @tina's task is not an easy one. the eldest is 10 years old and the second is 8 years old, which is really the "terrible summer vacation" age, but tina's summer vacation bill is very short.

"this summer, i only bought a new concept class online, which lasted half an hour every day. we spent most of our time outdoors. i took them everywhere during holidays, such as riding a bicycle or hiking, playing with sand and water at the beach, observing leaves and catching insects in the park. if the weather was bad, we would go indoors to read, play chess and board games...

this year, we went to my grandmother's house, museums, libraries, science and technology museums, various exhibitions, the beach, and parks. we didn't spend much money, but the two children got stronger and had better appetites. we are very satisfied. "

netizen @我是我家吞金兽 has "found a monstrous amount of happiness" this year. the cram school was suddenly suspended after a week, so for the next 40 days, i lived a fairy-like life that all primary and secondary school students in the country envied: 3 hours a day doing homework, 2 hours playing with mobile phones, and the rest of the time watching tv and eating snacks, repeating a cycle of drunkenness and dreaminess.

"this should be the best summer vacation he has ever had. just be happy, because there will be many hard times ahead."

among the many answers, everyone’s fond memories of summer vacation can be visualized in a scene:

watching "the legend of white snake" with my family, enjoying the fan and eating watermelon.

as a parent, the description of an ideal summer vacation can be summarized very simply:

i hope the child can grow up happily.

@the parent who was driven crazy. my child is 12 years old this year. it is the "critical point" for the transition from primary school to junior high school. she inevitably signed up for preparatory classes for mathematics and chinese, plus the drum test, which cost her nearly 20,000 yuan. but she said that the summer vacation she is looking forward to does not require much money, but requires more environment:

"i really want my children to live in the countryside for a while to experience nature, have playmates with children of the same age, see new things every day, and live a fulfilling life without having to rack their brains to think about what to do."

there is always a gap between life and fantasy, especially in today's atmosphere of pushing children to study, climbing the ivy league, and internal competition. whether it is anxiety or relaxation, it actually requires parents to be ruthless and muster up a lot of courage. perhaps no one can find the perfect balance between competition and relaxation.

the best measure is to do your best.

after all, happiness really isn't that expensive.