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“summer vacation is too expensive!”

a few days ago, a friend sent me a message complaining that his salary was not enough. his son had spent 30,000 yuan by the end of the summer vacation.

when asked where the money was spent, my friend counted the expenses:

the baby’s summer camp costs 9,000 yuan;

programming, english, and piano lessons total 6,000 yuan;

swimming and table tennis lessons for two months cost 3,000 yuan, plus a trip abroad costs 10,000 yuan...

i was stunned and sighed: this is not raising a child, this is raising a "money-eating beast".

and there are quite a few such cases.

a mother named @文文 on the internet shared her child’s summer vacation bill:the total cost of the two children in the summer vacation is 100,000 yuan.。

the mother also said:

i really feel that i didn't dare to spend money recklessly, didn't dare to go international, didn't dare to sign up for a high-end tour, and didn't send my children to an international summer camp.

i remember a popular saying recently: "a monthly salary of 50,000 yuan cannot support a summer vacation."

i couldn't help but feel sympathetic: after working hard to save money for several months, as soon as the summer vacation was over, things quickly went back to the days before liberation.

some parents also said: "it's not necessary to spend so much money, right? when we were young, we spent almost no money on summer vacation."

in fact, both statements are correct.

but when the "50,000 yuan summer vacation bill" became a hot topic on the internet, parents had to face a problem:

do you really want to give your children an "expensive" vacation?

recently, i have seen many videos online saying that “the summer vacation is 30 to 40 days long and the children spend 50,000 to 60,000 yuan.”

a mother from nanjing posted that the only thing between "middle class" and "bankruptcy" is a child's summer vacation.

what's going on?

it turned out that from july 1st to 7th, in just 7 days, the child spent 6,000 yuan, 85% of which was on various summer vacation preparation and interest classes.

the comments section was filled with messages of agreement and complaints:

a mother in beijing said:

“i feel like my wallet can’t take it anymore.

tutoring is already a "basic" part of summer vacation. if you want your child to have some skills, you also need to arrange swimming lessons, basketball lessons, football lessons, swordplay lessons, etc. you also need to sign up for several interest classes. you can't get them without spending tens of thousands of dollars."

another father from fujian also shared his child's summer vacation bill, saying that the summer vacation was just halfway through, and he had already spent nearly 40,000 yuan on various interest classes in august:

after reading everyone's "photos", i remembered a "summer spending" survey that the media had done before: the results showed:

among children's summer vacation expenses, interest classes and travel account for the largest proportion, followed closely by subject learning and summer care.

more and more parents choose to enroll their children in 1-3 tutoring classes during the holidays, as well as make some additional travel plans.

such things not only happen in big cities like beijing, shanghai and guangzhou, but many of my friends around me are also unable to control themselves and are deeply trapped in them.

my best friend xiaohui said that she trembles as soon as summer vacation comes.

at the beginning of july last year, she had decided not to take classes or travel.

but i couldn't withstand the anxious marketing of the training institutions and the constant comparisons among my classmates' parents.

finally, in mid-july, i enrolled my daughter in math olympiad, swimming lessons, and english classes.

i joined a group to go to dunhuang for a study tour, and my family went to hainan for a trip. in addition to all the food and drinks, i spent nearly 50,000 yuan in two months...

it is said that the greatest humility of parents is when their children reach summer vacation:

if you don’t provide tutoring, you may worry that your child’s learning will decline during the holidays;

if you don’t travel, you’re afraid of missing out on the rare opportunity to see the world during the summer vacation;

sign up your children for all of them. it will hurt your wallet and make your heart bleed.

the typical situation where you can't win no matter how hard you try, and can't lie down flat no matter how hard you try.

no wonder more and more people lament: chinese parents are trapped in "summer vacation" anxiety.

a few days ago, i saw a popular term on the internet - "unfinished baby".

what does it mean?

this means that a large number of middle-class families spend a lot of time and money on raising their children.

in the end, the money is spent, but the children have achieved nothing after graduation. they either rely on their parents for support or suffer from serious mental illness and face the crisis of "unfinished project".

i wonder if you have ever seen the following post: a hong kong foreign executive spent 60 million on the education of his three children.

the eldest is 34 years old. her parents sent her to a prestigious british university to study dentistry. after graduation, she didn’t want to work in this field, so she switched to photography.

after working for a few years, he got bored and became interested in theology. he wanted to study abroad, but he didn't have the ability to support himself.

currently living with my parents, staying at home.

the second son is 31 years old. he also graduated from the department of architecture of a prestigious british university. after returning to china, he worked in a hong kong government agency to support himself.

but he felt that renting an apartment was too expensive, so he chose to live with his parents and sister.

the third child, 26 years old this year, also studied in the uk, but he could not adapt to the environment, suffered from depression, and was persuaded to drop out by the school.

i am currently working as a pharmacist in australia, but i am unable to make ends meet and need support from my parents.

needless to say, the parents of these three children must have tried their best to raise them, but what was the final result?

not only did i fail to achieve success, but my life became even more confused.

rousseau once proposed a "theater effect":

in a theater, if everyone sits in their seats normally, then everyone can see the stage.

if the people in the front row stood up, gradually, the people behind had to stand up as well to see the stage, and finally everyone stood up.

the same is true today when it comes to children's education.

some summer activities and study clubs appear to be for the good of children, but in reality they create anxiety and trap parents in the "theater effect."

more and more parents have been caught in the "vortex of internal competition" actively or passively, and have to do everything they can to "roll" their children.

although the original intention is for the good of the child, we forget that children have their own growth cycle, just like every flower has its blooming period.

if we do not consider the child's wishes and family conditions and push them too hard, it will only increase the child's psychological burden and disrupt their growth rhythm.

i saw a viewpoint at blue oak:

children’s summer vacation is divided into different levels, which is a kind of brainwashing concocted by “consumerism”.

except for a very small number of wealthy people who are financially independent, the vast majority of people in this world are ordinary people like you and me.

i earn a salary that is neither high nor low, but i also want to give my children a childhood full of good memories.

if you are a wealthy person with sufficient financial resources, you can spend as much as you want on your children.

but for most ordinary parents, there is no need to join them.

the best family education is not to follow the trend or to be inward-looking.the best love is not to give your children a luxurious summer vacation.

instead, make the holiday feel like a holiday and let the children be children.

1. instead of studying abroad, it is better to return home and experience life

i've heard a saying: raising children in the countryside is better than any interest class.

take the children to plant vegetables and flowers, sweep the yard, and realize the importance of labor;

go out to catch dragonflies, feed spiders, catch crabs, and make insect specimens by yourself, which is a vivid nature lesson;

working in the fields and bringing children to learn about the four-season crops and edible wild vegetables... these are more meaningful than taking photos and checking in on a deliberately created "three to five-day study tour abroad".

so, take advantage of the summer vacation to take your children to the countryside and spend time with the elderly!

it can not only enrich children's holiday life, but also allow children to learn a lot of practical knowledge imperceptibly.

2. instead of enrolling in various cram schools, it is better to arrange for children to study on their own.

a teacher who works in childcare told me about her own personal experience.

this summer, she originally wanted to enroll her daughter, who had just entered junior high school, in a japanese class costing 17,000 yuan.

later, through the recommendation of a friend, i learned that there are many professional free japanese video courses on the internet.

even paid online courses only cost a few hundred yuan.

not only does it save a lot of money, but it also saves you the trouble of picking up and dropping off your children.

she said: “once you spend money to enroll in a class, interest becomes a task, so it’s better to let her learn on her own.it can also cultivate children’s self-learning ability.”

i agree with you.

sometimes enrolling children in classes is not a good thing. sending children to interest classes and receiving rote learning, where they are forced to study constantly, will instead stifle their spirituality.

it is better to accompany your children to study on their own and let their curiosity, interests and talents fly.

3. instead of going to popular tourist spots and crowding in the crowds, it is better to go to the park near your home

i have taken my children on trips before, and have been to hulunbuir, yunnan, qingdao, and beijing, and have seen the sea, mountains, and grasslands.

however, there are often many people traveling during the holidays. the scenery that is prosperous and interesting in the eyes of parents is just countless backs and corners of clothes from the perspective of children.

later i found that many parks near my home are also worth taking my children to.

there are few people, fresh air and lush greenery.

the flowers, grass, insects, birds and the language of flowers in the forest are not much different from those in large scenic spots. taking children there for walks often can unleash their nature.

4. instead of worrying about your child not liking to study, it is better to go shopping with your child in the supermarket.

a social research shows that shopping in a supermarket can teach children nine lessons:

statistics, traffic safety awareness, chinese, mathematics, labor, painting, extracurricular reading, social studies and physical education.

isn't it unbelievable?

educator tao xingzhi once said: life is education, and society is school.

there are many things that children can learn by visiting supermarkets:

food packaging bags and promotional posters are their "literacy teachers";

price tags and shopping lists are their “math teachers”;

make plans, select products, make choices when shopping, and teach them to distinguish between needs and desires;

by queuing and paying, you will gradually learn the social rules and the meaning of waiting.

in fact, supermarkets have more functions than these. as long as you think about it, there are "teachers" for children everywhere in life.

i want to share a sentence with you:

the so-called seeing the world is never measured by price, but by seeing the many sides of this world.

so-called education is never obtained through comparison. what is suitable for children is the most valuable.