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An "outsourced mother" with a monthly salary of 30,000 yuan joins a wealthy family.

The rise of Dehua-style companion teachers,

It sparked heated discussions on social media.

A group of post-95s and 00s returnees or graduates from prestigious universities,

As soon as I graduated, I moved into a middle-class family to help take care of the kids.

Become a sought-after child growth companion.

They can speak at least one foreign language and are fluent in English.

Even fluent in French, Japanese, and Korean,

Possess expertise in art, music, or fine arts.

Or have a background in psychology or education,

With an excellent resume, he earns tens of thousands of yuan a month.

Some people define a companion as "a mother hiring a more professional mother".

A conversation with three children's growth companions.

They are fluent in speaking English,

A post-00s art teacher who switched from a training institution,

And a fresh graduate of a normal school.

Self-introduction: Riley, Li Zi, Tang Song

Editor: Jin Lu

Editor: Ni Chujiao

▲Lemon takes the kids out to play

Lemon 28 years old Changshu

Study abroad experience and fluent spoken English are in high demand in the companion teacher market.

With these two points, I got a monthly salary of 30,000 yuan in my first job, which was to accompany a child of a Chinese family who had just arrived in Dubai. Although I studied data analysis in the United States, which had almost nothing to do with education.

I have been in this industry for two years. Later, I went to Shanghai and Suzhou and accompanied three families in total. Basically, every job was seamless. I feel that this market is a bit in short supply.

▲Lemon received a "confession" from a child in a Dubai family

The needs of each family encountered in this industry are different, and the educational concepts and family atmosphere are also different.

Families in Shanghai are under more pressure. The head of the family is the CEO of a listed company, and the mother is more educated and tends to be more picky.

The division of responsibilities between "nanny" and "companion" is often unclear. There were three nannies in my family before, and I replaced one of them, so some of the laundry and housecleaning work also fell on my shoulders. The other two aunts had more work to do because of my arrival, so it was difficult for them to be nice to me.

They were busy from morning till night like a spinning top. My parents would worry that if I took a break, the aunts would feel unbalanced, so they would not let me rest. I got up at six in the morning and went to bed at ten in the evening. Except for a half-hour lunch break, I did not have any rest. I was in a very tense state all day.

We lived in Shanghai, and I needed to take care of my child to sleep, but my mother didn't tell me during the interview. She just said there were two beds in one room. But when I arrived, I found that the two beds were put together, and I slept with the child.

The nanny told me that she needed to wake the child up to go to the toilet at night, but I said I couldn't wake him up, I couldn't wake myself up either. I thought it was unreasonable, their child was already 6 years old, he would go to the toilet whenever he wanted, why did she still take care of him like a child?

So I felt exhausted from the staff and the employer. My employer told me that I was very happy when I first came, but I often sighed recently. This state will also affect the children. I left.

▲In a Shanghai family, Lemon would guide her sister to read Oxford Tree Graded Reading after dinner and help her brother practice calligraphy

It is actually rare to meet a good employer. My current employer is the least class-conscious one I have ever met.

They are a family with two children in Suzhou. The father is very busy at work and comes home very late, so I hardly ever see him. The mother also has her own job, but she is very involved in childcare. However, because there are two children, the mother often takes care of one and cannot take care of the other, so they came to me. They really defined my role as a companion.

▲Drawing with children

They didn't assign me any tasks. The only goal was to make the child happy, immerse her in English, and provide an all-English communication environment. I only spoke English when I talked to the child, so now her English and Chinese levels are about the same.

Teaching is not very stressful. They prefer to put learning naturally into life and see the child's interests. As long as she is interested, we will learn. I don't have to plan what content to teach every day, or learn 1-10, ABCD, etc., but for example, when we go to a coffee shop, she will point and ask what letter this is, and I will tell her at this time.

▲ When Lemon was working as a coach in Dubai, she taught children to play golf

Overall, I am quite satisfied with this job now.

When I graduated, I actually had a lot of job options because I studied data analysis in the United States. I also worked as a programmer intern in the United States, but it was quite tiring. At that time, I was just curious and wanted to see why the salary of a companion was so high and to experience a different lifestyle. I didn't expect that I would find the job okay after I went there. I also like children. As long as I play with children, I won't feel tired.

There are many heartwarming moments brought to me by children. For example, when I first came to this store, in the underground garage, because there were cars coming and going, I would hold the little girl's hand. I was afraid that it was unsafe. At first, she would resist, but now she will take the initiative to hold my hand and say, "I don't want anything bad to happen to you." I feel that my love for her is not in vain.

▲Children in school in Dubai

I don't have to live at home now, and I live very close to my employer's home. It's summer vacation now, and I usually go to my employer's home at 2 pm and get off work around 10:30 pm. Many live-in companions are on call 24 hours a day except for sleeping. I work at most 8 hours a day. In the afternoon, I take the children to the mall or the children's park to play, go to the trampoline, read books, or do whatever she wants to do.

I rarely think too far ahead. I am quite happy with my current job, so I feel I can stay here for at least a year. Then I can either continue to do this for three years and become an expert in the industry and improve my professional skills, or I can do this for two or three years like many people in this industry, accumulate some resources from parents and teachers, and become an intermediary.

▲ Photos of Li Zi's daily life

Li Zi, 24 years old, Hangzhou

I officially entered the industry this year and have been working as a companion for almost three months.

Before becoming a live-in tutor, I worked as an art teacher in a training institution. I like working with children, but the work of the institution is not just pure teaching, but also responsible for enrollment, which makes me feel like a salesperson.

In April, I learned about the profession of a companion teacher in a post introducing "niche high-paying jobs". The post said that this job mainly involves playing with children, and sometimes the employer takes the children on a trip and also takes us with them. I thought this profession is pretty good, I can travel with pay and play with children.

▲Traveling with the children of the employer

When I decided to change my career, I actually had some concerns, because after a deeper understanding, I found that the boundary between it and housekeeping is quite blurred, and many people are introduced by housekeeping companies. There are many orders in the agency group I am in, and I can see various additional requirements besides "accompanying", such as requiring you to drive to pick up the children, or requiring you to be able to cook simple meals, clean the baby's clothes, and some are just for simple companionship.

I had been looking for a job for several months but no one took a liking to my resume until around May, when I had two interviews. For the first one, I had no experience at all, so the employer asked me how I dealt with quarreling children, but I was not very good at answering. For the second interview, the employer wanted to test my English, so they asked me to introduce myself in English, but for some reason I didn't pass.

▲The time planner that Li Zi made for her children

I found my current family during the third interview. I was very attentive and designed a companionship schedule for the employer's family and arranged the child's daily schedule. The employer may have successfully hired me because of this.

Their house is a very large villa. In addition to me, there is a cook and a nanny, who both live at home, so I don’t need to rent a house in Hangzhou.

▲Collecting various leaves and flowers from the outdoors with the children

I am mainly responsible for playing with a pair of twin brothers. The biggest difference from the workplace is that this job is almost non-stop from morning to night. As long as the children are awake, I have to be awake, and I am with them almost all day from waking up to going to bed.

Because the kids need to get up at 6:30 in the morning, I usually have to get up at 6 o'clock and get myself ready. At 6:30, I slowly put on some music and wake the kids up, and the day begins. In the evening, I usually start making up stories and telling them stories from around 7 o'clock, and go to bed around 8 o'clock.

▲Complete the homework assigned by the school with the children and decorate T-shirts

I can feel that children in such a family are quite competitive. Although they are not on the traditional test-oriented path, they pay more attention to the all-round development of their children. The two brothers go to an international kindergarten, and the family plans to send them abroad to Singapore when they reach junior high school, and apply for schools in the UK and the US when they are older.

Now, almost every day after school, they have an interest class to attend, such as Lego building class, English drama class, equestrian class, and German logic class. Other children in the international kindergarten are taking supplementary logic and English classes, and they have classes almost every day. The whole environment is like this. The mother will feel that my child cannot lose, and I will feel the same way.

▲Daily life of playing with building blocks and drawing

The biggest difference between this job and my previous job in a training institution is that I don’t need to deal with so many people. The time I spend with the children every day is arranged by myself, and I can devote myself wholeheartedly to the process of interacting with the children.

If I'm at home every day, I will arrange picture book reading, outdoor activities, building blocks, playing games, watching science or English cartoons, graffiti and other activities. I studied art before, so I will also draw with them based on my major. Now that the kindergarten has started, I start preparing lessons when they are in school, such as preparing what picture book to talk about today or what props are needed for the game.

▲Tell your child picture book stories before bed

Having too many staff members at home can also bring about a small problem, which is that the child may become closer to other staff members than to the parents.

After I came here, I noticed that the children seemed to rely more on the nanny. Because they basically slept with the nanny at night, because they were used to it. There was a time when the mother wanted to cultivate a relationship with them and let them sleep with her, but neither of them wanted to. Sometimes when the older brother was beaten by the younger brother, or the older brother cried, the first thing they did was to find the nanny to hug him. When they were shopping outside, they would also ask the nanny to hug them when they were tired.

Sometimes, for Bao Ma, although she is the closest person to her child besides the nanny, she still feels lost and jealous. Sometimes when the two are too close, she will show disgust. In serious cases, the mother may get angry and vent her anger on the child.

I am quite confused at the moment. I am a person who changes careers as soon as I say so. I am actually quite open to the future. I am not sure if I am suitable for this industry. If I am really suitable, maybe I can have a small team and serve other companions in the future. Or I can do this for one or two years, and when I have saved enough money, I can try other industries, such as opening a store.

▲ Photos of life in Tang and Song dynasties

Tang Song 25 years old Shanghai

I officially got my permanent residence permit on August 1 this year. I have only been doing this job for a month, but my current experience is not very good.

My salary is 10,000 yuan and I work 26 days a month. My biggest feeling is that in the past three weeks or so, the employer's requirements have changed almost every week, and the content of my work has become more and more.

When I first started the interview, the parents’ request was that I just needed to take good care of their child. Their child was attending a bilingual kindergarten, and because the content they had learned before was difficult and their foundation was not solid, they hoped that I could help them lay a solid foundation in English. In addition, I might need to do a little housework, such as occasionally making breakfast for the child.

By the third week, they began to ask me to do more housework, such as cleaning, washing clothes, and brushing shoes. It might be because they had a nanny at home, and I replaced the nanny after I came, but there was no one to do the nanny's work, so they wanted me to do more.

▲Children show off their pets at home and take their dogs out for a walk

In fact, this is the same as being an employee in a company. The boss wants you to do more things within a limited time and improve cost-effectiveness.

For example, I don’t have time to prepare lessons during the day, so I asked my mother to give me an hour or half an hour to rest at noon, and I would use this time to prepare lessons. She agreed at first and gave me some time. Later, she found that even if I didn’t have time, I would get up early and stay up late to prepare lessons, so she stopped giving me time and even dragged me to do other housework. I get up at 7 o’clock in the morning and stay up late to prepare lessons at night. Basically, I finish cleaning up at 11:30 or 12 o’clock, and I have very little sleep time.

▲Outdoor activities with children

Although I have only been working for a month, I have already discovered a very obvious dilemma facing this family.

There are two children in their family, sisters. The elder sister is already in high school, and the younger sister is about to go to elementary school. The elder sister is at a rebellious age. She is unwilling to do anything her mother asks her to do, and she has no patience. At this time, the mother will beat and scold her, and then immediately take her out and buy her what she wants to make up for it.

One time, I went shopping with them. My sister liked a toy and stood there, staring at it, refusing to move. She was very stubborn. As a result, my mother also beat her up, but when we got home, she immediately coaxed her and said that it was my fault and that I didn't control my temper.

Because I studied at a normal school and have a background in psychology, I know that children who have grown up in such an environment for a long time have actually figured out how their family members will treat their requests. They know that when their mother is angry, they will be afraid, and when they are afraid, they will comfort them, apologize to them, and buy them a bunch of things they want. Children can achieve their goals based on this.

But as an outsider, I cannot change such fundamental things.

So sometimes I wonder why they come to me. One reason I imagine is that they don’t want their younger daughter to become like their older daughter. It seems like they are shifting the responsibility for problems that arise during their child’s growth, and my existence seems to be a psychological comfort.

▲Teaching English to my younger sister

I actually broke down twice along the way. People in our company told me that if I couldn’t do it anymore, I could come back and we would assign me other work. If I wanted to persist, I should just hold on.

Actually, my family situation is relatively average. I have tried many different jobs, including being a teacher in an institution, teaching children online, working in a restaurant, and handing out flyers. I think I will continue to do this job because it is difficult to enter the industry. I need to work in the industry for at least three months so that I can understand what this industry is like and then think about what to do next.