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Text | Mi Li Ma

School is about to start and there is a sweet smell in the air.

Good things happen one after another.

Yesterday, I met a young man from upstairs in the elevator who had been on leave for a semester. He told me that he went to an international school and school had started almost two weeks ago.

The school starts so early, not because the school has extra papers, but because there is an international online course open tournament in October that will occupy the school's venues, so we will have a holiday during this period, so we need to make up for it now.

When we heard about his new school, Mi Li's father and I paused for a moment; but the boy's condition was gratifying, and he was willing to chat with us.

In the past six months, this young man who we watched grow up and was a member of the "Mi Li Come Chase Me" team, would hide from us if possible, and if he couldn't hide, he would bury his head deeply and curl up in a corner of the elevator. Not to mention chatting, he was even unwilling to look at us normally.

I was happy but also a little sad to be able to chat with him today.

Before dropping out of school, this young man was a top student and his mother was a not-so-famous test-taker.

During the period when he just dropped out of school, his mother often came to see me, firstly to relax; secondly, to get me and Mi Li's father to research various international schools.

I always thought that with his mother's ambition, she would be able to go to an Ivy League school; unexpectedly, she went to a real and purely happy school.

In the evening, I met Juan’s mother in the community garden. She was happier than ever and told me that after her child dropped out of school, she went through a very dark period and asked herself every day what kind of person she wanted her child to be.

When we talked about international schools in Beijing, she felt excited and expectant countless times; she knew that with her son's grades, going to any international school would be like changing the track and might give him a better chance.

But will the child be willing? Will his condition deteriorate again?

The thought of this was like a bucket of cold water poured down on me.

This mother asked herself countless times: Is the school she chose the one her son wanted? Is it really suitable for his situation?

She is conflicted, unwilling, entangled and struggling every day.

A while ago, she was on annual leave, and she took her children and went to Europe as a family of three.

In a foreign country, the mother tried to empty herself and talk sincerely. For the first time, her son told her clearly: It was the mother who was happy to get a good report card, not him! As for what made him happy, he was confused, but he wanted to find it himself.

This sentence made Juan's mother cry uncontrollably: What's the point of having a report card if a child can't even find happiness? !

After returning to China, she visited many schools and finally decided on this school which was not favored by many mothers, just because one of her children said: Studying in this school is like attending a summer camp that never ends.

The completely different situation from before made her want to help the child find happiness, so she resolutely signed up and becameFront volume mother。

My mother sent me the tuition fee for the new school. I took a look at it and my heart was trembling for a second.

Three years of junior high school and three years of high school will cost at least 1.5 million yuan, not including summer camp and winter camp.

Happiness is indeed expensive.

Coincidentally,A few days ago, a childhood friend of my best friend organized a dinner party and talked to us about a topic that was particularly relevant and interesting.

Her daughter was going to junior high school and she didn’t plan to go to school in China but wanted to send her directly to the UK. She found an agency and estimatedThe cost from junior high school to university, all miscellaneous, is at least 5 million.

To be honest, I took a quick look at the agency's quotation sheet and felt it was quite reliable. There wasn't a lot of water in it. It's no wonder the prices are so scary; it's just that the UK is really expensive.

When everyone was lamenting how expensive it was, my best friend's childhood friend said, "In China, to go from elementary school to college graduation, the cost would be over 3 million yuan, plus a postgraduate course in the summer and a one-on-one tutor.

If you calculate the details of her mother's expenses, it should be more expensive than mine. In three years of junior high school, it might be over a million.

I am now accompanying my child to take the overseas exams, which are essentially the same as taking the domestic exams, but since they avoid the domestic high school entrance exams, the children have more choices. "

Her family is the second generation, one house, can let the childrenIt’s worth it to have more life experience and choices.

A friend was not convinced and realistically calculated the cost for her best friend's childhood friend: if she gave her child a salary of 20,000 yuan per month after graduating from college,5 million can pay her a high salary for 20 years, how is it worth it? !

My best friend laughed and didn't refute at all. She just said one sentence, which was surprisingly consistent with the starting point of the mother who went to an international school to find happiness:

"Today's education is characterized by high investment and low returns.Then don't think of it as an investment, but as pure consumption, and everything will become clearer.

You have the spending power to do what you want to do most, why not? !

You have found a path that is more suitable for your child, and you have made sufficient psychological preparations. Everyone can pay for the decision, so why not? ! "

Listening to your words is better than reading ten books.

Everyone has the stereotype that education can pay off, especially for children with above-average academic performance. Parents are particularly willing to spend money, always thinking that they can get from a first-tier university to a 211, then to a 985, and finally to Peking University or Tsinghua University.

However, when Beijing University of Technology could no longer hold on, they found that the money they invested was not even worth a penny.

Even if they do get into a 985 university, being unemployed upon graduation is something that keeps countless mothers awake at night. The hot word “烂尾宝宝” (bad-tail baby) dominated the charts a while ago 👉🏻 “烂尾宝宝” (bad-tail baby) is everywhere, have middle-class parents in Beijing given up on raising their children? !”

This word is so heartbreaking.

Why not, in this painful reality, change your perspective?Change your consumption mentality.Maybe you can see another world.

I think:

First, assess your spending power rationally.If you have enough spending power, then do it; if you don’t have enough spending power, then don’t try it lightly. Don’t want everything or try to pay for it on tiptoe, otherwise you will definitely take huge risks.

Secondly, since it is consumption, don’t pursue a high rate of return;The purpose of general consumption is to realize personal needs and satisfy emotional values. The needs are satisfied at the moment. Whether there will be a return in the future depends entirely on fate.

So, whether it is to spend 1.5 million to pay for Happy International School; or to spend the next 20 years of salary to send your child to the UK, as long as parentsEnough bullets, the right path,Then there is no high or low, no right or wrong, it is just a choice and a way of consumption.

To this extent, for ordinary public school mothers like us,The most current topic should be: In the consumer age, how to spend money wisely?

The key to this blade is not to worry about whether to spend 10,000 yuan on summer vacation, or whether to pay the sky-high one-on-one tuition fees, but to stand further away and think about this:What will my children do in the future?

Today's Haidian mothers have reached the next level. Their focus is no longer limited to the six little strong men, but starts from future career planning and moves forward to the next level: career prospects - employment direction - internship company - whether to pursue a doctorate - graduate major - university major - high school - junior high school.

Why should I go to the top six universities? Which of the top six universities is more suitable for the target major of the target university? What is the future career direction...

No blind chickens, the path is clear.

What’s even cooler is that this path starts from the child’s interests and tries to help him plan:An ideal life where you can find happiness at work.

The ideal state for a mother is: effective chicken, time to lie down, and a promising future.