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Crazy pushing of children will often only produce a hollow child with no goals, no dreams, and no motivation.

Only when parents expand their own vision and give their children the ability to face the future can their children win in the future.

Author | Fengzi

The Paris Olympics is about to end, and each team has won many gold medals. Among them, one phenomenon has attracted widespread attention:

More and more Chinese Olympic champions are not only sports experts, but also top academic masters.

Jiang Minhui, who reversed her opponent and won the women's epee Olympic championship despite being far behind at the beginning, is a bachelor's student at Stanford University.

Tori Husk, a Chinese-American athlete who won the Olympic 100-meter butterfly championship, is currently studying at Stanford University.

Gu Ailing, who won two gold medals in the 2022 Winter Olympics, also studied at Stanford University.

This year's US team has many Chinese players from Ivy League schools, such as:

Zhang An: 2023 Pan American Games women's team champion, graduated from Berkeley University.

Zhang Siyang: Champion of the 2020 National Women's Amateur Golf Championship, currently studying at Stanford University.

Rachel Song: Won the U.S. Table Tennis Open women's doubles championship for two consecutive years and is currently studying at the University of California, Los Angeles.

With a gold medal in one hand and an Ivy League degree in the other, he looks like a winner in life.

Behind this is the way Chinese parents have been pushing their children to study hard in recent years, which is a successful example of "climbing the Ivy League ladder through sports."

For a time, many parents could not sit still:

Pushing the kids to do the test more crazily, trying to find a good kid;

I signed up for twice as many training classes as possible, hoping to replicate an Ivy League athlete.

These ordinary parents only see the "results" of their children's success, but fail to see the "effort" put into the process of pushing their children to study hard. They only follow the trend and push their children to study hard, do sports well, and do art well.

It seems that as long as you are willing to invest and work hard enough, your children will be admitted to prestigious schools and have a bright future.

Is this really the case?

Let’s first look at how Jiang Minhui, who is known as the “ceiling of middle-class chicken baby”, was raised.

You should know that in addition to his top fencing skills and background as a top student in a prestigious school, Jiang Minhui is also proficient in taekwondo, figure skating, ballet, and his piano level is at the performance level. He was once named one of the Top Ten Outstanding Young People in Hong Kong.

It's a true hexagonal warrior!

Behind this, her parents have always been standing on high ground, paving the way for her life.

First of all, the parents themselves are strong.

Jiang Minhui’s success is inseparable from her parents’ long-term cultivation. Her family environment has laid a solid foundation for her.

It is reported that she immigrated to Canada with her parents at the age of 2. After returning to Hong Kong at the age of 6, she attended aristocratic schools all the way, and the tuition alone was a huge expense.

In particular, the English School Foundation Shatin College where she attended high school is the oldest international school in Hong Kong, and its students all go on to top universities such as Harvard, Oxford, and Cambridge.

Because of the high-quality teaching staff and good education quality, the admission requirements are particularly stringent and the cultural literacy of the parents must be examined.

As one blogger said, every year the school's places are locked up very early, and to enter this school, you have to register at least one or two years in advance. The school has very high requirements for parents, and if you don't have a very good English environment, you can't get in just by having money.

Secondly, it is the wholehearted support.

Jiang Minhui started learning fencing at the age of 11, which is a late start for a professional athlete.

Because before that, in order to tap into her talent, her parents arranged different interest classes for her to try and make mistakes, such as ballet, skating, athletics, and guzheng...

These interests not only burn money, but also have high sunk costs.

But her parents were very open-minded, and they respected their daughter's dislike for it. Later, when their daughter fell in love with fencing, they fully supported her.

The father personally picks up and drops off his daughter at every practice and takes out all his free time to accompany his daughter wholeheartedly.

The father even invested in a sword gym so that his daughter could receive more professional training.

How many families can afford the cost of trial and error?

Finally, it’s careful planning.

Her parents knew that professional athletes were not a lifelong career, so they planned their daughter's future early on.

I have been attending an international school since I was young, which not only ensures my academic and personal development, but also prepares me for future international education.

So Jiang Minhui was admitted to Stanford University with an IB score of 41 (out of 45), majoring in international relations.

Later, because she hoped to work in the United Nations, she entered Renmin University of China and the Chinese University of Hong Kong to pursue a master's and doctoral degree in law.

With her current academic qualifications, as well as her mastery of the legal systems of China, Britain and the United States, and her strength as an Olympic champion, it is just a matter of time before she joins the United Nations.

The goal guides the direction, and no step in Jiang Minhui’s growth journey is wasted.

Therefore, Jiang Minhui’s success is not something that an ordinary family can easily replicate.

In addition to giving choices, respect, support, love and companionship, they also support us without complaint;

It also requires thinking, investing resources, making plans, and making huge investments to provide strong support.

Ordinary parents cannot see the gap in resources, money, cognition, and pattern. They follow the trend and push their children to do what they want, which will only make themselves suffer and harm their children.

An educator once said that although ordinary parents seem to be doing their best to raise their children, they are actually blind and rely on two words:

One is "smash":Spend money, spend money on school district housing, spend money on cram schools, spend money on interest classes, and the money spent becomes a mountain weighing on the children.

One is "brush":Practice exercises, practice certificates, practice resumes, and finally produce an insensitive child.

The Xiaohongshu blogger who calls himself a "bad-end kid"@Mr. LinShared your own story.

When he was very young, his mother learned that students with sports expertise could get extra points to enter 985 universities, so she took it upon herself to let him follow the volleyball expertise route.

From then on, his life consisted of studying, getting good grades, and playing volleyball.

Although he was disgusted by the boring exercises and exercises, he still tried his best to persevere.

Hard work pays off. Although his college entrance examination score just passed the first-tier line, he was admitted to a good 985 prestigious university with the national volleyball second-level athlete certificate.

But after entering university, he found that he had nothing he was passionate about, nothing he wanted to do, and he didn't know why he was alive.

He didn't want to play volleyball anymore because years of boring training had left him with nothing but boredom.

He was not interested in his major courses, so he just muddled through his four years in college and often failed exams.

Now that he has finally graduated, he has encountered continuous setbacks in finding a job. He can only sigh helplessly: My life is meaningless.

As one psychology teacher described metaphorically:

The children under the blind test papers are like the tomatoes piled up in the supermarket.

Although they look shiny and uniform in size, they cannot be sold at a high price and taste bland, lacking the original sweetness and fragrance of tomatoes.

In order to mature faster, have brighter color and fuller size, they are injected with various ripening and growth-enhancing agents from the very beginning.

This is like many children, who, aiming for "good grades and admission to prestigious schools", frantically practice questions, sign up for various classes, and participate in various competitions, and finally become "standardized products":

Although he looks bright and beautiful on the outside, he is hollow on the inside and spiritually empty.

So even if they work hard to get into a prestigious university, they can only sadly become "985 waste".

Either they become unemployed upon graduation and become “unfinished students”; or they do nothing and become “highly educated poor people”.

As an ordinary parent, if you can’t get financial resources and produce an outstanding child, how can you raise a child?

Let the children take root before giving them wings.

Roots mean paying attention to the three "eats", providing fertile soil, and allowing children to continue to take root downwards and grow upwards.

1. Eat well.

Have you discovered that our children's physical fitness is getting worse and worse?

Problems such as myopia, overweight, scoliosis, insomnia and headaches are frequent;

Some of them suffer from severe lumbar disc herniation and severe fatty liver at a young age...

No matter how good your grades are or how bright your future is, without a healthy body, everything is in vain.

Therefore, no matter how busy you are, you must ensure that your children have time to exercise and space to look out into the distance every day.

A strong physique is the foundation for a child's success.

2. Eat well mentally.

When talking about her success, Peking University girl Wang Xinyi especially thanked her mother for her spiritual nourishment.

As ordinary parents, we don’t have huge financial resources to raise children, but we can raise them spiritually:

Provide more companionship, encouragement, choices, support, set a good example, and create a good family atmosphere.

Let children's hearts be filled with confidence and strength, and they can shine.

3. Good eyesight

When Yan Ning was a child, she did not attend various training classes, nor did she have endless exercises to do.

But her parents helped her broaden her horizons by accompanying her to read books, newspapers and listen to the radio; by getting close to nature and participating in life practices, she broadened her knowledge and achieved what she has today.

Therefore, instead of pushing their children to follow the trend, parents should take their children to see the world.

Go into nature, see the vastness of the world, and broaden your mind.

Go to museums, science and technology museums, and libraries to experience the world of history, technology, and books and inspire your wisdom.

Go to the vegetable market, go to the train station, see the various aspects of life, and understand the meaning of reading.

Only when children have a broad vision can they have a long way to go in the future.

Wings means teaching students in accordance with their aptitude and empowering them.

Educator Wang Jinzhan once said that his daughter had average intelligence and only got into an ordinary high school after the high school entrance examination.

It is very difficult to send my daughter to a prestigious school.

But his daughter had a good sense of music, so he decided to let her learn a musical instrument.

My daughter not only enjoys learning musical instruments, but also gains confidence. Her internal motivation for learning has also increased a lot, and her grades have improved rapidly.

In the end, because of my daughter's expertise in musical instruments, she received extra points for gifted students and was successfully admitted to Peking University.

Just as He Lingfeng said, parents should not "shape their children" according to their own ideas, but should "ignite and awaken their children" to help them bring out their strengths.

The best support parents can give their children is not to push them blindly, but to teach them according to their aptitude as early as possible and empower them.

Educator Rousseau once said: "Misusing time is more damaging than wasting it, and the wrong way of education is more harmful than no education."

How high and far a child's future can fly cannot be determined by his or her temporary performance.

To a large extent, it depends on what strategies parents use to raise and educate their children.

Therefore, stop pushing your children blindly and don’t let them pay for our short-sightedness.

Expand your own vision and give your children the ability to face the future so that your children can win in the future.

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