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Author: Bai Lu Chen Shu, head image from: Visual China

In the eyes of the workers, Xiaozhi has already lived the peaceful life they have longed for.

As the owner of a B&B, Xiaozhi doesn't have much work to do on weekdays except for cleaning the yard for 2 hours, as most of the rooms are occupied by long-term tenants. In the comfortable residence of his own B&B, Xiaozhi can also enjoy a casual schedule, fall asleep peacefully when he wants to, and wake up naturally the next day. When he draws open the curtains, he sees the beautiful blue sky and white clouds of Dali, a clear stream flowing in front of the door, and the majestic outline of Cangshan Mountain in the distance, which outlines a refreshing picture.

The prices in Dali also make Xiaozhi feel at home. A simple meal costs only a dozen yuan. So Xiaozhi usually chooses to go out for a meal, and buys a cup of coffee on the way back. Xiaozhi's daily routine is to take a break after a full meal, clean the yard and listen to music. The daily entertainment activities are watching the news, playing games, and browsing Douyin or Xiaohongshu. During the peak season, Xiaozhi will take the tenants to stroll along the Erhai Lake, chatting and laughing until night falls.

According to Xiaozhi, the new environment brings people not only a sense of freshness, but also the tranquility that comes from being free from social relationships.

From the city to the small town: an escape about self-rescue

This year marks the fourth year since Xiaozhi quit his job and started working as a freelancer. Recalling his career from the rural area of ​​Zhangjiakou, Hebei, to Beijing and Hangzhou, and then back to Dali, Yunnan, Xiaozhi would sigh at some point: Although he is only in his early 30s, his life has already been tainted with many vicissitudes and haste.

Xiaozhi considers himself an ordinary person, but his hobby of reading celebrity biographies has taught him from countless successful cases that "as long as you work hard, you will succeed." So when Xiaozhi graduated from an ordinary college in Hebei, like many young people, he entered the metropolis with the passion and dreams of youth, but he did not feel negative because of his education and background.

According to Xiaozhi, he majored in market development and marketing in college, but the cruel reality is not so "logical". After entering the society, Xiaozhi worked as a security guard, a kitchen helper, a dishwasher, a real estate agent and a telephone salesperson. Xiaozhi doesn't care about the starting point of his career. He said: "I always feel that as long as I work hard, I can succeed in sales."

However, Xiaozhi's career took off not entirely due to his efforts. Ten years ago, with the advent of the domestic Internet wave, Xiaozhi had the opportunity to join a well-known Internet company as a business manager. In this industry known as the most competitive, Xiaozhi broadened his horizons and came into contact with resources that he would not have encountered in his lifetime as a security guard, a Western restaurant kitchen helper, and a telephone salesperson.

Xiaozhi is like a wheat plant that has finally found rain after a long drought. While feeling the shock brought by the Internet wave, it is also working harder to gain experience and resources in order to "stand out". It has also become the fuel that drives large companies to keep running in the tide of the times.

During that time, Xiaozhi repeatedly changed jobs between Internet companies, and went to one business visit and business reception after another. The hardships and pressures of business gradually made him feel exhausted. "I am particularly afraid of the need to constantly communicate with people, especially those with interests."

After many job-hopping, Xiaozhi finally decided to leave his business position and become an operations manager. Although he didn't have to spend too much energy on interpersonal communication, the pressure from the pace of life in the big city still bothered Xiaozhi.

During the years when he worked in the operations department of an Internet company, Xiao Zhi, who lived in Tongzhou, spent 5 hours every day commuting between Fengtai Science Park and his rental house. The sweat odor in the subway in summer, the cold north wind outdoors in winter, and the endless security check crowds during rush hours in the morning and evening. The long commute and the suffocating living space day after day made Xiao Zhi feel exhausted. The long-term physical and mental exhaustion also made him gradually tired of his work.

Whether it was the pressure from the environment or the dissatisfaction with the status quo, it was like an invisible big hand that made Xiaozhi breathless. At this time, Xiaozhi no longer had enough motivation to keep going, so he chose to quit his job and become a freelancer, using "escape" to complete a physical migration and a spiritual awakening.

Departing from debt, going to Dali to experience social “letting go”

Although he quit his job without a plan, Xiaozhi did not completely quit his job. Because of the large amount of customer resources he had accumulated in the Internet industry, Xiaozhi started to work in public relations services. Later, as his business expanded, Xiaozhi tried to start a business in Zhengzhou and went to Hangzhou to seek further development.

Xiaozhi had just changed from an employee to a freelancer, but ended up falling into the "trap" of the new job. His brief escape failed.

Starting a business is not as free as working part-time. From team building to business dealings, you need to do everything yourself. Xiaozhi soon felt more pressure than when he worked in an Internet company. Because the company was always losing money, Xiaozhi went to bed at 5 or 6 in the morning during that period, and was worried that he would die suddenly. This feeling of suffocation was even worse than when he worked in an Internet company in the past.

However, these troubles did not last long. Xiaozhi's two attempts in the public relations service industry only lasted for 8 months before they were declared over. What Xiaozhi was left with was not only two failed career experiences, but also the debts owed by starting a business. The failure of career transformation and the continuous blows of reality were like a silent storm, sweeping over this young man.

Xiaozhi also began to reflect on the meaning of work: making money is not everything in life, what is more important is to find a lifestyle that makes him feel satisfied and happy. This insight gained from work is exactly why Xiaozhi went to Yunnan. Now, Xiaozhi in Dali, Yunnan, is in a different situation.

Unlike in the past when he was busy dealing with complex social relationships with various clients, colleagues and friends every day, in this small town, the number of people who know Xiaozhi can be counted on one hand.

Simple social relationships have reduced the intensity of daily social interaction. In this peaceful life, Xiaozhi does not feel lonely or bored. He only needs a small shelter that can protect him from wind and rain, and he can stay here safely. This is the most precious treasure that Xiaozhi found in Dali.

The scenery outside the window of Xiaozhi B&B

For Xiaozhi, socializing is no longer a necessity in life. He almost cut off contact with old friends and only kept a few new friends with similar interests. After "breaking up" social relationships, Xiaozhi felt unprecedented ease and comfort.

"I don't like too much interpersonal communication. As long as they don't contact me, I basically won't take the initiative to contact them." Xiaozhi said that when he communicated with his colleagues before, the other party could associate seven or eight sentences from one sentence, and he had to guess the true intention behind the other party's communication. This way of communication and social relationship made Xiaozhi very annoyed.

Now, Xiaozhi has almost no colleagues and his friends are not around, so he no longer needs to compromise himself to please others or put on a forced smile for social occasions.

In the rainy season in Dali, Xiaozhi can even stay in his room for more than ten days without going out. This is his own casual corner.

At the age of 30, the long journey of searching continues

You may have planned to escape, but there is a price to pay for "settling down" in a place that is neither your hometown nor a popular job.

At the beginning of 2023, before Xiaozhi decided to open a B&B in Dali, he had no idea about the B&B industry and the business of opening a B&B. At that time, he not only had little money in his pocket, but also had a bank loan. "Opening a B&B is something I have never thought about in my life plan, because it is a heavy investment," Xiaozhi said, "but I found that tourism is a sunrise industry, and the Dali market is also very hot, so I decided to give it a try."

Just as he had the strong belief that "as long as he works hard, he can succeed in sales", Xiaozhi spent an afternoon mentally preparing himself and began looking for real estate resources in Dali that could be developed into a homestay.

When Xiaozhi was looking for a house alone in Dali, he went from village to village like looking for a job. He found a house he liked, but his limited funds did not allow him to buy it. He also did not like the houses that fit his budget. After several struggles, Xiaozhi chose the current B&B as the second best option. This once again proves that "life is not always as expected", but Xiaozhi still chooses to use the method of letting go, which brings him one step closer to the life he wants.

The courtyard of Xiaozhi B&B

After owning the homestay, Xiaozhi also used his experience in public relations services to promote it through social media platforms such as Xiaohongshu. Netizens from thousands of miles away were also attracted by the content on social media and came to stay. But life in Dali is not the perfect idyllic idyll imagined.

Xiaozhi still remembers that he had just paid off his debt in March this year. At that time, he was happy to think that he would have money to renovate the yard in the future. But then the landlord came to collect the rent. Xiaozhi, who was completely confused, opened the contract and found that he had remembered the wrong date for rent. The joy of paying off the debt was swept away, and he had to worry about the rent again. Later, Xiaozhi found ways to collect the rent money first, and he didn't have the opportunity to renovate the yard, and he had another debt out of thin air.

Today, Xiaozhi's annual income from his homestay and occasional part-time PR service is about 200,000 yuan, which is much less than what he earned in the past when he worked at a large Internet company, but Xiaozhi doesn't care. In addition, although there is pressure from running a homestay and the social interaction that is essential to running Xiaohongshu, he feels satisfied in his heart.

Xiaozhi admits that he rarely worries about income now. Opening a homestay in Dali is just an experience for him. If he can't continue, he will just let it go.

Photo provided by the interviewee

Just like when he decided to live in Dali, Xiaozhi still believes that the meaning of life is not how much money you make, but whether you can do what you like and whether you can have free time. He believes that only by finding a lifestyle that suits you can you achieve self-sufficiency. However, new troubles continue to come one after another.

When Xiaozhi decided to open a B&B in Dali, he also felt pressure from his parents.

In his parents' minds, going to college means working hard in the city, getting a stable, high-paying job, and then getting married and having children. But Xiaozhi, who has broadened his horizons from a small town to a big city, has his own ideas. Therefore, he and his parents have had many conflicts over buying a house, marriage, and having children.

Xiaozhi remembers that when he was almost 30 years old, his father urged him to get married, and his family arranged a blind date for him. But Xiaozhi did not want to hastily decide his marriage according to his parents' wishes. Later, the family quarreled over this, and in order to escape and as a silent protest, Xiaozhi's contact with his parents became less and less.

Xiaozhi is not a sociable person, even though he doesn't have many friends and often stays at home, he rarely feels lonely because in Dali, Xiaozhi has enough time to do what he likes and enough space to find the meaning of life.

Since the beginning of this year, the homestay market in Dali has been particularly hot. Xiaozhi has thought about subletting the homestay and exploring other cities. But this time it is no longer an escape, but a hope for a free life. "I actually have no plans for the future," Xiaozhi said. Whether he decides to stay or leave, he just hopes to still be able to feed himself and live a good life.

*Xiaozhi in the article is a pseudonym.

This content is the author's independent opinion and does not represent the position of Huxiu. Reprinting is prohibited without permission. For authorization matters, please contact [email protected]