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the young man arranged his wedding: no diamond ring, no wedding, and only spent 3,800?

2024-10-01

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everyone has clearly seen the reality that capital kidnaps love, from true love that lasts forever, a sky-high price diamond ring that will be passed down forever, to wedding photos that preserve the beautiful moments of love, to banquets for guests, bba fleet... in fact, without these, love is still love.

female contributing author: yu bai

it’s the national day holiday again, and it’s also the peak season for weddings.

according to bamei’s observation, this generation of young people are somewhat different when preparing for this year’s wedding. they began to be reluctant to be harvested by wedding violence, and young people who had been "kidnapped" by capital for many years began to resist collectively.

from banquets in traditional hotels to "modest" lawn weddings, from picking up relatives in a luxury motorcade to traveling in simple outfits, from full houses of guests and friends to private gatherings of small groups of relatives and friends, there are no wedding photos, no diamond rings, no gift money, no wedding candy, and no toasts. after the post-2000s rectified the atmosphere in the workplace, the minimalist weddings and three-no weddings favored by young people also began to rectify the wedding market.

1.

3800 holds a wedding, and the bride "guest-hosts"

wedding dresses are rented, and post-00s weddings focus on “sanity”

for echo, she has always wanted to have a minimalist but ceremonial wedding.

as a native of jiangsu in shanghai, echo said that she and her husband are young people working hard in shanghai. we bought a house together in shanghai and our daily expenses are not small, so holding a wedding in the traditional way is not cheap.

as for the high cost, echo thinks her husband can still afford it, mainly because of her past experience as a bridesmaid. getting up in the middle of the night to put on makeup, holding the door, and welcoming the bride made her feel physically and mentally exhausted. "i hope my wedding will be more meaningful. when i look back in the future, i can clearly remember the happy smiles of every friend, and everyone can get together to witness our romance, instead of getting up at 4 a.m. to put on makeup and being physically and mentally exhausted from morning to night. .and all the unfamiliar faces in the audience.”

in the end, echo and her husband thought about it and decided to hold a small dinner party with friends in shanghai before the national day to entertain some friends they knew in shanghai. the final wedding was scheduled to be a lawn wedding during the national day holiday, with only family, close friends, childhood friends and other closest relatives and friends attending.

echo lamented, "law weddings are becoming more and more popular now. maybe in a few years, it won't be cheap to order a suitable lawn." in the end, they spent 3,800 yuan to reserve a lawn.

in echo's imagination, she walked towards her husband surrounded by her best friends, with fireworks blooming behind her, surrounded by the sounds of violins and pianos, and her friends singing together, turning the wedding scene into a ktv. since the number of people is small, the banquet can also be prepared as a seafood feast. every time i talk about the upcoming minimalist yet romantic wedding, echo feels happy and joyful.

some young people want to save even the 3,800 yuan lawn fee, at least they don't want to "waste" the money for wedding photos.

"5,000 wedding photos? why can't we find a replacement?" li kai went on a trip with his girlfriend on the eve of the wedding. he contacted a local street photographer in chongqing through douyin and made an appointment to take a photo in hongyadong. wave "wedding photos".

li kai and his girlfriend both liked the photography style posted on each other’s accounts. since they were not a professional wedding photography agency, they did not rent dresses. in li kai’s words, “the style of street photography is also very nice, and they didn’t come with a mission. our photos are more life-like. with the same cost, it is better to use the money to travel. even if you take photos, you will also leave better memories. ”

the wedding still has to be held, "because the family needs to recycle the gifts that have been given out over the years. this is a big expense. a rough estimate is at least more than 100,000. this money has to be recovered, but holding a wedding is also a big expense." it’s an expense, so we thought we could hold the wedding as cost-effectively as possible.”

li kai once attended a friend's wedding banquet, and he felt that a particularly large restaurant might not be real. many dishes seemed to be a big plate, and each person would take one bite and then it would be gone. even the fish was only half a fish. the steak also looked pre-cooked. every time i finish the banquet, i feel like i’m not full at all.

after discussing with his family, li kai finally decided that the wedding should be in a traditional format, but the "limited" expenses should be spent wisely. decided to reserve the main expenses on hotel dishes so that relatives and friends can eat better, while other expenses can be saved.

for the same cost, li kai found a hotel with slightly lower specifications but a good reputation on dianping.com. "as for the reputation of the lining, it may be a little worse in terms of face, but it makes sense. the important thing is that the lining has luxurious boston lobster, saury, and authentic hot dry noodles. after this meal, everyone can just remember that your stay is not in vain. the most important thing is to entertain your friends from afar.”

on the eve of the national day, li kai borrowed a bmw 530 and a land cruiser through friends, eliminating the need to pick up and send off relatives, and the wedding process was as simple as possible. we didn’t hire a professional videographer, but asked a friend who works in the media to make a temporary guest appearance as a photographer and take some interesting videos and photos. wedding dresses are also rented instead of purchased and returned after use.

since both of them are engaged in media work, they played a guest role as hosts of the wedding. they planned some scenes in advance, told everyone a couplets, and then announced the end of the ceremony and started the banquet. . the simple process received a lot of applause.

after the wedding, li kai took his relatives and friends from out of town around wuhan. they went out to eat at food stalls for late-night snacks and sang karaoke together in the evening. several friends who came to the wedding also said that this way of playing is very interesting.

"i have attended so many long weddings, but in fact there are not that many audiences to judge you. everyone is here to join in, have a meal, and witness the happiness of friends. as long as life is happy, the content of these ceremonies is not important." li kai while eating at the food stall, i told my good brother from beijing about my feelings, and advised my brother to pay attention to increasing income and reducing expenditure when getting married in the future.

in fact, if the shell of cultural attributes is stripped away, the current wedding market is a feast of consumerism, which may be dazzling in the era of luxuriant flowers. but as young people become more and more aware of the traps of consumerism, this generation of post-00s will only become more rational.

but how to hold an interesting wedding yourself and convince your parents still requires effort and communication. although i couldn't convince my parents and the wedding followed a traditional form, there were still some "deductions" in certain places.

2.

the "lowest grade" wedding photos, moissanite can also represent love,

save money if you can save money on a wedding

zhang chen, who works in shanghai, originally planned to travel to japan during the national day holiday, but before he could start planning his trip, he received five wedding invitations. "the plan can only be ruined. there is a childhood friend and two college roommates, both of whom invited me to be the best man. there is no way to refuse such a relationship."

zhang chen, who has graduated four years ago, is facing a period of high incidence of weddings among friends around him. "everyone has reached the age of marriage. although everyone in big cities generally gets married later, in my hometown, social pressure makes young people start early. entered the marriage hall."

but when he thought about the rare long vacation, he not only had to travel and travel to attend the wedding, but also had to get up early as a best man to pick up the bride and escort his friend's wedding. zhang chen felt a little powerless.

and similarly, holding a wedding is also a big test for the newlyweds. shuguang from inner mongolia just got married on national day last year. although they don't like the traditional wedding format, due to the customs of their hometown and the pressure from their elders, they still tried their best to hold a mongolian wedding within the budget.

the couple worked hand-in-hand from planning the wedding to taking wedding photos, planning the wedding, booking a hotel, welcoming guests, etc. hainan, who was shuguang's girlfriend at the time, said bluntly that a wedding takes a toll on physical strength, energy and even brainpower. it consumes a lot, and the intensity is no less than taking on a long-term planning project at work.

in hainan's view, the most important thing for the couple is their married life, so they are trying their best to save money in places where their parents cannot see. for example, taking wedding photos is more like a routine for them. after repeated comparisons, hainan found a set package only costs 2,688 yuan.

but when they arrived at the scene, hainan discovered that it was not the case. among the bright, beautiful and dazzling clothes racks, the clothes in the package they chose were neither good-looking nor social.

when hainan insisted on returning, the store upgraded them to two sets of beautiful mongolian robes for free. however, hainan still gritted his teeth and paid for the cost of retouching the photos and getting the negatives back.

because they were renovating the wedding room, both of them were a little tight on money, and they had planned to give up the wedding. but when the parents of both parties took out their dense accounting books, they decided to continue with it in a very tacit understanding.

"besides, in inner mongolia, everyone still attaches great importance to the specifications of your wedding. it is related to the face of your parents, so you have to bite the bullet and do your best to save face," shuguang said.

shuguang's target, hainan, calculated that wedding planning and construction would cost more than 6,000 yuan. however, in the hotel in their hometown county, if the construction work is handed over to the hotel and the sound system is also rented from the hotel, the cost is only 3,000 yuan. . so the work of creating design drawings and wedding planning fell on me.

in the end, they only hired chinese host, photographer and makeup artist from the wedding company, while the mongolian host and master of ceremonies were part-time by the elders of the family.

even so, in the end, the hotel venue and banquet cost a total of 58,000. including makeup artists, photography and videography, clothing for the bride and groom, groomsmen and bridesmaids, game red envelopes, car rental, etc., the total cost is still close to the 100,000 mark.

even when they finally reviewed the bill, they discovered that the wedding company had done some tricks behind the scenes, and other expenses in the bill amounted to 3,500 yuan. "in the end, when we asked, it was said that it was the staff's catering, insurance and other expenses, but the problem is that we provided their catering." whenever this matter is mentioned, hainan becomes a little angry.

as for the diamond ring, they bought a moissanite, which was equally dazzling at the wedding. hainan believes that instead of spending money on the so-called diamond ring that represents love, it is more reliable to buy gold. after all, later life is more important.

it took more than a month to prepare, and finally sent away relatives and friends. shuguang and his wife slept for a whole day before they recovered their spirits. they said with a smile that they "regret it": if they had to do it again, they would definitely make the wedding simpler.

this is also a portrayal of many young people today. everyone has clearly seen the reality that capital kidnaps love, from true love that lasts forever, a sky-high price diamond ring that will be passed down forever, to wedding photos that preserve the beautiful moments of love, to banquets for guests, bba fleet... in fact, without these, love is still love.

3.

the "financial nature" of weddings continues,

more and more young people are “thinking about it”

in fact, in most chinese family concepts, marriage is not only a major event for the continuation of the family, but also a mutual financial act of saving and collecting.

shuguang's family has an account book that records the money that their family gave away at other people's weddings in the past. it also records the gifts given by others when shuguang got married. it can be said that this is a folk passbook. there is such a ledger in almost every family.

this simple folk customary behavior can help more families withdraw a large sum of money at one time during major events such as weddings and funerals.

on the other hand, for traditional families, marriage is a major family event, and holding a wedding is a customary rule passed down. especially in economically underdeveloped areas, a grand wedding can be linked to social status. this is especially important for the elders in the family to continue the traditional culture and system. not only must it be done, but it must be done with great splendor. the wedding procession must be led by luxury cars, the banquet must be held at the best local hotel, and the wedding ceremony and queues must be packed.

however, due to the collision between traditional culture and the pursuit of face by elders and the long-term advertising brainwashing of capital, young people's enthusiasm for wedding ceremonies driven by their pursuit of romance and ritual has led to the popularity of the wedding market and the high prices. in this context, the marriage ceremony has become a ritual that young people kidnapped by traditional concepts must go through. faced with this realistic situation, the sickle of capital was cut.

looking at social media such as xiaohongshu, wedding photos have been increased in price, wedding company fees have been rising, excellent wedding photographers and makeup artists have increased prices for appointments, and hotel bookings have started in half a year. weddings have evolved into a good business that is sure to make money without losing money. especially when it comes to golden holidays like national day, weddings gather prime partners every year.

there was a hot topic on the internet, how profitable is it to organize a wedding for young people?

liu yang, who got married the year before last, was completely ripped off by the wedding culture in big cities. liu yang said frankly that an ordinary makeup artist would charge 2,000 yuan for half a day of bridal makeup. the price per person for a wedding banquet in a five-star hotel that i found was over a thousand yuan, but when i usually eat here, i can eat well for only 400 yuan per person.

now liu yang has opened a wedding studio in beijing. liu yang said frankly: "i first opened a studio when i got married and saw the huge profits from weddings. i am also a photographer, so i opened a wedding studio directly. but in the past two years, young people are increasingly unwilling to be kidnapped by this kind of consumerism. now i am more interested in helping everyone plan creative weddings. only by being able to keep the wedding cost as low as possible while being interesting and meaningful can we have more weddings. customers. business lasts.”

of course, liu yang's "epiphany" was not really unwilling to "make huge profits", but was forced by reality.

according to the "new insights on the marriage industry in 2023" released by meituan, the people preparing for marriage on the platform are mainly concentrated in the age group of 24-28, and those born in 1995 and 2000 are becoming the "new main force" in marriage.

according to the "2024 wedding industry all-format consumption dynamic report" released by the china wedding expo, the average total wedding-related expenditure in china's first-tier cities in 2023 will be 200,000-300,000 yuan. when it comes to wedding investment, we pursue more cost-effectiveness and manage expenses more rationally. the total cost generally drops by 10-15%. the scale of the wedding pays more attention to the quality and exquisite design of details, and the pursuit of personalization becomes more and more abundant.

no matter how the economic environment changes, the elderly on both sides can still work together to hold a luxurious wedding for the newlyweds. however, nowadays young people, especially those born after 2000, pay more attention to personalized self-expression, and they do not want to have the same wedding as their “elders”. in addition, the cumbersome procedures also discourage young people from traditional weddings. from venue selection, wedding photography to wedding banquet preparations, every step requires a lot of time and energy. for young people who are busy with work, this is undoubtedly a burden.

on social media, young people who attended the wedding and paid their share also said, "the wedding should be simple, just let me have a good meal." no matter how luxurious a wedding is, for others, they will really forget it when they walk out of the hotel.

it seems that if young people want to pua in the name of love in the future, if diamonds fail, weddings will become easier and simpler.