There is a threshold to Jiang Minhui's upbringing, and that threshold is his parents.
2024-08-01
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Text | Thirteenth Sister
These days I particularly like a girl: Jiang Minhui.At the Paris Olympics, she represented the Hong Kong team in the women's individual epee final and won the gold medal.I don't know much about fencing, but I know what it means to be able to participate in the Olympics, and I know what a gold medal means. This is already impressive enough. Let's take a look at Jiang Minhui's resume - undergraduate degree from Stanford, master's degree from Renmin University, doctorate from the Chinese University of Hong Kong, native speakers of Mandarin, Cantonese and English, proficient in figure skating and piano, with diverse interests, and one of the Ten Outstanding Young People of Hong Kong.After reading this, most people began to focus their comments on "Parents are so good at nurturing”。Major marketing accounts, especially some institutions engaged in study abroad planning or IB course tutoring, have started to read general manuscripts: "The ceiling-level template for middle-class parenting is here" and "If you do this in education planning, you can also cultivate Jiang Minwei""Copy the most advanced method of raising children from Jiang Minhui's parents"......The last time Gu Ailing became popular, marketing accounts had no idea where to start because her parents were of too high a level and their starting point was too unusual. This time it was different. Jiang Minhui’s parents were relatively ordinary, and when they saw that this was a bowl of good chicken soup, they quickly gulped it down.Can this actually be learned? Can it be accomplished by just copying?
There are tens of thousands of middle-class families, many wealthy parents, and many families who understand education and love to push their children. However, Jiang Minwei's parents are not easy to replicate.Marketing accounts will never tell you the real truth behind the scenes - although having money is a necessary condition, there is a threshold to becoming an elite, and the threshold is parents.Parents' sense of relaxation and willingness to pay the cost of trial and error and opportunity cost cannot be learned just because you want to.For example, her mother had her own selfish motives at the beginning and wanted her to learn elegant ballet, but Jiang Minhui didn't like it, so her mother didn't force her.On the other hand, many mothers, as long as their children reject something they want them to learn, they will say that the children have no perseverance, are lazy, and do not want to make progress, and then they force their children to learn it, which ends up causing chaos in the whole family.It’s not that many children are incapable, they just don’t do what their parents want.
Many parents hope that they can choose a specialty for their children, and the children will go on to pursue it without hesitation. It would be best if the children can achieve some results and then go on to higher education. This seems to be the template that parents most expect.But look at what Jiang Minhui’s parents did. They fulfilled their daughter’s “unwillingness” and supported her “willingness”. They did not force her, but instead took the time to explore more possibilities.This requires trial and error costs, which ordinary families simply cannot afford.Jiang Minhui'sThe father went beyond most fathers. In order to help his daughter learn fencing, he even invested in a fencing coach and opened a club.
It's not enough to just have money.You know, all these efforts may end up in vain, but they dare to face the possibility of failure. This is the real strength and courage.With such a situation, plus the time cost, economic cost, and sunk cost, how many parents can do this?
There is a clear difference between the feeling of loose support and the feeling of anxious oppression.Because of their parents' support and tolerance, children will be more self-driven and will be more willing to work hard on things they really like.What is more difficult to imitate than a relaxed parenting style is the influence of parents on their children's personality formation.What impressed me about Jiang Minhui was not how good her swordsmanship was. After all, there are excellent people in every field as long as they work hard in their own field.It's not that she studied at Stanford, Renmin University, or the Chinese University of Hong Kong. After all, people who study hard are good, and we can't think that other top students are not as good as her just because they didn't win the Olympic championship.It’s not that she has many hobbies. After all, as long as they spend money and effort, many people can dabble in a wide range of interests.To put it bluntly, these are relatively easy to stack.What really impressed me was her personal charm.
Her authenticity, humility, her common sense, her kindness and love, her ambition, her passion for public welfare, her world view, and her tenacity amidst her gentleness.You can tell from the way she speaks that she really has no baggage at all and reveals her true inner feelings. She is a very lovely girl.If you don't know how precious her sincerity and peace are, you can go and see how pretentious some people are, especially those who have achieved a little success, how big their idol baggage is, and how much they care about the grandiose illusion. Then you can understand how precious Jiang Minyu is.If a person who is strong both inside and out, has a high level of education, broad knowledge and experience, and has been tempered by long-term sports competitions still has such an attitude towards others, then his education is truly very successful.
This is definitely not something that can be trained overnight, but is the result of subtle influence from childhood to adulthood, and a large part of it must come from the energy and education of parents.
How can you "copy" these things? If parents themselves do not have these energies, they cannot copy them at all.
Ultimately, the biggest hurdle in raising an excellent child is the parents.In an interview, she said she was very grateful that she would receive a bonus. She was considering how to use the money. She would buy gifts for her team members and also wanted to set up a charity to help more children get involved in sports.The fact that she speaks frankly about the joy that money brings her shows that she does not value money, but she knows that money is also a kind of proof. She will use it to get more positive feedback and transform honor into continuous motivation.
This is a very mature outlook on life, which can only be achieved after a long period of nurturing. This shows that her parents are such people——Rational, pragmatic, altruistic, respectful, and loving life.Unlike some hypocritical rhetoric, which is empty, shows off wealth, and tries to elevate oneself, but has no substantial contribution to others and society.During the interview, she also mentioned her several injuries and talked about the help from her coach, medical staff, and mother when she was injured. She said that with so many people supporting her, she would definitely persevere.This is not just simple gratitude, it is an expression of humanity in social connections.In psychology, one of the essential healthy elements in human development is personality unity, an important part of which is: understanding one's social attributes and responsibilities.
It can be seen that her parents paid great attention to cultivating her sense of responsibility and gratitude during her growth. They would not wantonly plunder the efforts of others, nor would they be stingy in retaining their own energy.
When we are with such people, we tend to feel a huge amount of positive energy, and we will benefit greatly from being sincere with them.I think this is the most successful aspect of Jiang Minhui's parents' education, which also comes from the family's sense of relaxation, open-mindedness and foresight.It has little to do with how much money you spent, what prestigious school you went to, or how many medals you won.It's easy to say, but many families cannot fully possess these fatal advantages.First, it requires financial support, second, the parents need to have a high level of awareness, and third, the child must have good talents.
Most of the outstanding children we see actually rely on family conditions and parental support.
Unfortunately, many people often only measure educational success by academic performance and whether one can be admitted to a prestigious school.There are many academic geniuses and many successful people in all walks of life. How to judge the true success of education? I think it ultimately comes down to a child’s personality.As long as he has perseverance, altruistic motivation, the will to keep improving, and a lifestyle he likes, then he will have a truly successful life.Many of these people can often live a good life and achieve subjective happiness through a good micro and macro environment as well as their own drive and resilience, without being defined by the outside world.
Every time we see outstanding children, some people try to teach us how to raise children. In fact, this is unreasonable. First of all, we should learn how other people's parents raised us.Thirteenth Sister
Highly influential KOL in Shanghai
Author of "Amazing Middle-Aged Women", "Amazing Chinese Mothers" and "Practicing with Husbands"
Weibo@格十三
